There was such a good, widespread response to my column last week on who should comprise Sting’s new Main Event Mafia, that I decided to write another column with some additional thoughts about who I do not want to see in this group – at all. Before we get to that, though, let’s have a quick review of what we know from this week’s episode of iMPACT Wrestling. We learned this past Thursday night that the first member of Sting’s new group is “The Olympic Gold Medalist” himself, Kurt Angle.
In last week’s column, I commented that Angle was an obvious choice to join the new mafia. He’s an obvious choice for three reasons: First, he was one of the leading members during the last incarnation of the group. Second, he has been at or near the top of every major pay-per-view card that he’s been on since joining the company. And third, Angle is a former TNA World Heavyweight Champion. Again, Angle is an obvious choice.
And now on to those names that I absolutely do not want to see in the new Main Event Mafia.
Without question, the one person that I do not want to see in this group is “The Samoan Submission Machine” Samoa Joe. With all due respect to the former TNA World Heavyweight Champion, Joe has grown into a complete bore. How long is he going to be the pissed off Samoan? How long is he going to breathe heavy through spittle jumping out of his mouth in all directions? How long is he going to be the same old, same old? Look at a guy like Sting. For years, Sting’s “The Crow” gimmick was as stale as last month’s bread. Then he reinvented himself. He became a crazy person; a mad man. Samoa Joe has been an angry Samoan since he debuted in TNA (and before he arrived) and, frankly, it’s boring. The man has unlimited talent and yet his gimmick can’t grow and mature over time? Give me a break.
Joseph Park, Esq.
Whether you want to call him Joseph Park or Abyss, I don’t want to see this big man in the new Main Event Mafia. In last week’s column, I suggested that Matt Morgan is the right “big man” for this group and I’m sticking with Morgan over Park/Abyss in my selection. What concerns me most about a potential Park/Abyss addition to this group is the dichotomy of the current character. You have Abyss as the TNA Television Champion (and yet he’s not appearing on television… odd) and you have Park acting like a bumbling fool who doesn’t quite “get” the whole wrestling business. Well, he doesn’t get it until he sees his own blood. The writers are going to have enough of a time getting themselves out of the tangled web they wove on Park/Abyss – I don’t want the Main Event Mafia getting caught up in that story.
Even though I try not to do this on the weekends, if I can put my business hat on for a moment here… “The Charismatic Enigma” doesn’t need to be a part of the Main Event Mafia. Jeff Hardy is the biggest merchandise pusher in all of iMPACT Wrestling – he doesn’t need to bind himself to the mafia to either increase his own merchandise sales or to help them grow in popularity. From a character perspective, Hardy has too much baggage that comes with him to be a strong, independent member of the mafia. I’m not talking about his former life of substance abuse. I’m talking about his character and his artistic expression. The Main Event Mafia is supposed to be a group of high-end, high-profile wrestlers who acknowledge that they have dominated professional wrestling and are ready to reap the benefits of being on the top of the mountain. Hardy is still moving ahead in a strong direction of his own and he doesn’t really need the mafia. I don’t think he’d be a good fit for the new group.
No man on the iMPACT Wrestling roster has dominated the sport of professional wrestling like Hulk Hogan. However, I don’t like the idea of “The Hulkster” being a member of a group of active wrestlers. The man has said time and time again that he cannot wrestle any more and I would like this version of the Main Event Mafia to be packed with active wrestlers. Plus, there is a lot of untapped potential of having Hogan in the role of General Manager that the writers haven’t even gotten to yet. I wouldn’t want the possibilities of Hogan fulfilling the General Manager role to be sidelined because he joined a group that he can’t even be an active member of because of his health.
And then, of course, you have the wildcards that people would love to see back in TNA and potentially as members of Sting’s Main Event Mafia…
The way that “Big Poppa Pump” left the promotion leaves a lot to be desired. It’s bad enough that guys who are proven to no longer be draws wind up leaving the company and bashing it on the way out (instead of bashing themselves for not being able to draw). But Scott Steiner took the bashing to an entirely different level by attacking Hogan and Eric Bischoff personally. It was way overboard and I can’t imagine them welcoming him back to the company. Strictly speaking about the mafia, I can’t see what value Steiner brings to the table other than a massive body and physique. In truth, the mafia doesn’t need that type of physique and they can get their intensity from a guy like Crimson instead.
Once upon a time in wrestling, the very idea of Dusty Rhodes standing in the same ring as Ric Flair was unthinkable. These two men had a long-term, storyline hatred of each other that is hard to find in professional wrestling these days. Maybe it’s because I’m a guy who really enjoys 1980s NWA wrestling, but I think that the same disgust and long-term hatred should exist between “The King of the Mountain” and Angle. My God, Jeff Jarrett married Angle’s ex-wife! That has to count for something in the grand scheme of writing up a storyline! Jarrett has honorably stayed off of iMPACT Wrestling since he was “fired” back in December 2011. I, for one, would like to see that storyline decision honored during the Main Event Mafia’s creation.
And that’s about it. Who is it that you absolutely do NOT want to see in the new Main Event Mafia? I look forward to hearing from you!