((Jarrett’s Jab – Before the show starts, I’d like to say how good this is looking on TV, and love the set. The Bound for Glory set from last year looked awesome and it makes iMPACT look major league and different.))
The show kicks off with Dixie Carter in the ring. She emotionally thanks the fans who have reached out to her online with their moral support. The support over the last few weeks has meant the world to her, but she’s here tonight to share the outcome of the legal proceedings that started last November. While things didn’t go as she had hoped, she can promise us-
Immortal’s music hits, and now Eric Bischoff and company. Bischoff mockingly wipes tears from his eye and says that he agreed to let her come out here but it wasn’t to do her PR stuff and Twitterize the fans. Before they see her go, Bischoff just wants to say that he respects her and has learned a lot from her, and even though she’s a woman in a man’s world, she has one massive set of balls. Flair gets in Dixie’s face and asks if she’s understands that she’s in Flair Country, and if she had taken his room key that night in Orlando, they would have avoided all this. Instead, she texts, tweets, emails, and voicemails because she thinks the fans are going to love her. Flair says to do the jet flying and limousine riding, a chick needs money and that’s what Flair wants because whoever has the most toys wins the game. He tells her there’s a Holiday Inn right down the road, then introduces the legend and the man who makes everything go…Hulk Hogan! Hulk shows up to work for the first time in three months and triumphantly strolls to the ring to give Dixie a piece of his mind. He says that maybe he’s all amped up because of the electricity in this building or his adrenal glands are pumping so fast that he’s not thinking straight, but he was in the courtroom with Dixie today and he now controls 100% of TNA, from the ring to HIS office in Nashville, he makes all the decisions. As for Dixie, she’s just unemployed. Somewhere along the way, Dixie became delusional, and people call him an egomaniac but nobody became a bigger fan of themselves than she did. He and Eric used her to get back on top of the wrestling business and somewhere along the way, she forgot what her place in TNA is, was, and always will be: she supplies the money, period. It was never about them being partners, it was always about Hulk and his real partner Eric Bischoff using her to get back on top of the wrestling business and they used her and her whole family because she’s a weak woman. All she has left is her dignity, and they’re fixin’ to take that too, but she has one thing left, and that’s all the fans out there. But the fans that love her don’t have much to say about it because he runs this company 100% right now and that’s all there is to the story.
Fortune’s remixed music hits, and they come out to the top of the ramp. AJ Styles tells Immortal they can do this the easy way or the hard way, and Fortune likes doing it the hard way, but there’s a woman in the ring, and Kazarian says they weren’t talking about Bischoff. AJ says they’re talking about Dixie Carter, a woman they care about because she gave them an opportunity and brought them to FAYETTEVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA! AJ has Dixie leave the ring and he walks her up the ramp as Robert Roode tells Hogan that he can’t believe that he was the reason he became a pro wrestler, but there’s an old saying that you should never meet your idols because they’re just going to let you down, and that statement couldn’t be more true. Flair tells Roode that he can kiss his ass and Hogan’s and he can keep walking, so Roode says that instead of kissing his ass, maybe they should kick it. Fortune rushes the ring, but is held back by security and we’re at commercial. ((Jarrett’s Jab – Who honestly cared about this “courtroom battle” honestly? If your going to run an angle that long, the fans need to be really into it, and they weren’t. They could have used the last month of hype to bring back a major superstar and it’d make more sense. And Fortune is massively over with the crowd. It’s too early to say, but by the reaction they sound more over than Jeff will later or Matt earlier.))
Backstage, Immortal is laughing about the victory over Dixie Carter, and they run into Bart Scott from the New York Jets. He high fives the entire group and starts to walk off with Matt Hardy, but they run into Dixie and Fortune and start shooting their mouth off at Dixie, leading to a fight between AJ and Kazarian brawling with Matt Hardy and Bart Scott. Security pulls them apart as Jeff and Karen Jarrett, totally oblivious all of the fighting, stroll through with big smiles on their faces on their way to renew their vows. ((Jarrett’s Jab – It’s the little things that TNA does that stands out sometimes, Jeff and Karen strolling through despite the fighting around them is one of them. Nice touch.))
A video package recapping the Angle/Jarrett feud plays and the events that led to tonight’s wedding.
Backstage, Eric Bischoff is bitching to Hulk Hogan about a network guy telling him that Jeff Hardy‘s going to defend the TNA World Title tonight without telling him who it was going to be against. Hogan says it’s okay because he’s in charge and not to assume anything about tonight, because anything can and will happen in this business.
TNA World Tag Team Title Match: Beer Money vs Gunner & Murphy
Gunner & Murphy didn’t get an entrance here. They attack Beer Money on their way into the ring and toss Robert Roode to the floor, then double team James Storm. Murphy rakes Storm’s eyes across the top rope and then they tag in and out while working storm over. Storm boots Gunner in the face and clotheslines Murphy and makes the hot tag to Roode, who comes in and cleans house on Gunner. Roode with a big backdrop on Gunner and then starts unloading on Murphy and kills him with a clothesline. Roode goes for a uranage but Gunner blocks, so Roode hits a spinebuster instead and gets two. Murphy boots Roode in the face and holds him for Gunner, but Roode ducks and Gunner nails Murphy, then gets superkicked by Storm and then Beer Money hit a double suplex on Murphy and give Gunner the DWI for the win.
Winners by Pinfall: Beer Money
Ink Inc come out after the match and Shannon Moore welcomes them to North Cackalacky. Moore says these are his people, this is his house, and (holding up the book) this is his Book of DILLIGAF, and the Book of DILLIGAF says that Ink Inc are going to be challenging Beer Money for the title at the next PPV. Storm says they’ll give them their title shot because they’re the best team in the business today, and he’s sorry about their damn luck. ((Jarrett’s Jab – I don’t care that were in North Carolina, that maybe what irritates me the most, but what has Ink Inc. possibly done to deserve to challenge for the tag titles? Oh yeah, last week they lost to the guys Beer Money just beat. Logic please))
We go backstage to the Jarretts as Karen talks about her 10 foot wedding cake. Eric Young is using the bathroom behind them, and he says that he’s known Jeff a long time and wants to be his best man, but the best Jeff will give him is ring bearer.
We head out to the parking lot as Angelina, formerly from the Jersey Shore, gets out of a limo.
We go backstage to Kurt Angle arriving at the building with his son who he failed to win custody of against Jeff Jarrett at the last PPV.
Sarita vs Velvet Sky, Velvet will retire if she loses
Velvet looks angry and Sarita tries to calm her down, but Velvet grabs her by the hair and clotheslines her, then reverses a suplex attempt to a pinning combination for 2. Velvet dodges a dropkick and gets a wheelbarrow armdrag and a springboard bulldog. Rosita tries to interfere, but Angelina runs in and neutralizes her. Earl Hebner tosses both of them out, and Sarita comes from behind and gets several inverted DDT/kneedrops and sets for the Tiger Driver, but Velvet escapes and hits the DDT for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: Velvet Sky
We all knew that was coming. Velvet barely has a moment to celebrate her win before the Shorre comes down with Angelina. Cookie reminds them that they beat her down 4-on-1 last time, but this time she got Angelina, the real star of Jersey Shore, and she’s got a message for them to deliver to J WOWW. Angelina tells everyone to shut up and calls the Beautiful People sluts, then tells them to get J WOWW here to face her in the ring Jersey Shore style. Velvet tells her that if she’s got something to say to J WOWW then she can say it to her face. Velvet goes to leave but Angelina kicks her in the butt, so Velvet goes after her but Sarita nails Velvet from behind and leaves with Angelina and the Shore. Angelina gets a mic and says that if they want a fight, to show up next week and they’ll have themselves a six way. ((Wow…this sucked. They didn’t even try to make the match look important. And Angelina from the Shore is worse than Diva on the mic that I’ve ever heard, and that includes Cookie, Dixie Carter and Michael Cole attempting to commentate.))
Ken Anderson is backstage saying his head’s in the ring because he’s getting a title shot tonight. The network knows they made a mistake when they gave Rob Van Dam his title shot, and they know that he’s where the ratings are and he’s going to go out there tonight and get his title back. His final words for Jeff Hardy are that nice guys do finish last and sometimes good things do happen to good people…and assholes.
Eric Young finds Orlando Jordan backstage as he’s modeling his new I <3 Tag Teaming t-shirt and tells him that he’s going to be Jeff Jarrett’s best man and ring bearer. Suddenly he realizes he doesn’t have the ring and accuses OJ of stealing it. Young takes OJ down with a fireman’s carry and OJ tells him to check his shoe since that’s where he puts all his other valuables. Young checks the shoe and, sure enough, there it is.
Jeff Jarrett is in the bathroom, getting dressed for the occassion, and Ric Flair comes in to hang out. Jeff says that Flair’s the expert on honeymoons, but he’s got a great honeymoon lined up because he’s taking Karen and the kids to the Harry Potter ride at Universal Studios. Flair says he should just bring his mother-in-law and kill himself, but Jeff says Flair doesn’t understand what the whole relationship’s about.
We go back to Kurt Angle, who is taping up his fists while his son watches. Some mysterious person leads the boy away as Kurt finishes taping his fists, and we’re at commercial.
We come back to Hogan backstage on the phone discussing tonight’s title match with the network. He said he doesn’t care about Hardy defending the title tonight, it’s just the mystery of who he’s wrestling, and he tells them it’s okay to give the fans a mystery, but not to keep things from people you’re in business with. The network apparently won’t budge, and Hogan hangs up with an unsatisfied look on his face.
Okay, it’s time for the renewal of vows, and we kick it off with Eric Young, with a big goofy smile on his face, coming out with the ring as Orlando Jordan is wearing a dress and will apparently be the flower girl. Jeff Jarrett comes out to a round of boos, but doesn’t make it halfway down the ramp before Kurt Angle comes sprinting out and nails him from behind, beats him all the way up the ramp, and repeatedly drills Jarrett in the face. Jarrett stumbles to keep his balance and not fall on the cake, but Angle clotheslines him and points at the cake, but Karen Jarrett comes running out from the back and grabs Kurt from behind, then slaps Kurt in the face. Kurt responds by grabbing her and JAMMING her face into the cake. Kurt licks the cake off his taped fist with a big smile on his face as Karen throws a fit with cake all over her face.
In the back Jeff Hardy is now joined by Hogan, who says that one thing the network can’t control is that he’s a fighting champion and he’ll have to defend the title tonight. Hardy says okay, but Hogan says he just can’t get the network to tell him who Hardy will be wrestling, and they think some big surprise will get them ratings. Hogan says he thinks of Hardy as his son and would tell him if he knew, but Hardy’s got the get his head straight and do it tonight because he’s the leader of the pack.
Backstage, the Jarrett’s are flipping out at Eric Bischoff and Ric Flair over what just happened, and they tell Bischoff that the renewal of vows had better happen tonight, then they storm out the door. Hogan comes in and they powwow about what’s going to happen tonight with Hardy and have nothing important to add.
Rob Terry vs Scott Steiner
Terry attacks Steiner before the bell and beats him down, but Steiner catches him with a back elbow and a T-Bone Suplex, and then clotheslines Terry to the floor. Steiner goes out after him and tries to ram Terry into the ringpost, but Terry blocks and rams Steiner into the post instead, then picks him up and rams his back into the post again. Terry tosses Steiner back into the ring and puts the boots to him, then hits a British Bulldog-style powerslam for two. Terry whips Steiner to the ropes, but Steiner gets the boot up on the charge and plants Terry with a belly to belly suplex. Steiner hits a Flatliner and runs Terry over with a Steinerline, then drops the elbow and does pushups at two. Steiner puts Terry on top and hits a top rope fallaway slam, then finishes with the Steiner Recliner.
Winner by Submission: Scott Steiner
We go backstage to Angle as he’s taking his tape off and Ric Flair walks in with Bart Scott. Angle says he’s a big fan, but Scott blows him off and Flair says that he thinks Angle took the torch from him, but if he tries to interfere in tonight’s wedding ceremony, he’s going to have a problem and his name is Bart Scott.
We come back as Mike Tenay and Taz are sitting with Joe Warren, former All American wrestler from the University Of Michigan, who is now competing in MMA and won the World Featherweight Title in some company I’ve never heard of. He pimps the TV show he’s on, and will be doing commentary on the next match, which is up now…
Hernandez vs Matt Morgan
Yeah, I can see what an amateur wrestler can add to this match. Hernandez tries to jump Morgan on his way in the ring, but Morgan nails him with a clothesline and stomps away at him in the corner. Morgan charges Hernandez in the corner and hits a side suplex for 2, and Hernandez bails to the floor. Hernandez tries to take a walk, but Morgan goes out after him and takes him back to ringside and launches him back into the ring. Hernandez begs for mercy, but Morgan just kicks him in the face and tries to slam him, but Hernandez slips out the back, takes his t-shirt off, and tries to toss Morgan with it, but Morgan blocks and uses the t-shirt to toss Hernandez clear across the ring and Hernandez crashes into the turnbuckles. Morgan with the machine gun elbows and then he clotheslines Hernandez back out to the floor. Morgan goes after him and Hernandez begs off again, but Tullys him into the stairs and then repeatedly rams him face first into the steps until the referee has had enough and calls for the bell.
Winner: Matt Morgan by DQ
Hernandez cockily struts back up the ramp as Morgan lays bleeding on the floor.
We go backstage to Hulk Hogan as he’s begging someone at the network to find out who Jeff Hardy’s wrestling tonight, then he tells the mystery cameraman to send Anderson in. Anderson walks in and Hogan tells him he hates him, but he has good news and bad news. The good news is Hogan sees him and smells money, but the bad news is that he doesn’t get a title shot tonight. Anderson asks why he keeps screwing with him, but Hogan says they’re in the same boat because neither of them know what’s going on. Anderson says he doesn’t care about Hogan or Immortal, but because of Hogan and his buddies, he doesn’t have his TNA World Title anymore. Anderson tells Hogan that he never thought he’d tell Hogan this, but he’s disgusted by him. Anderson walks out and Hogan says to tell him next time he slams a 700 pound giant.
Okay, we’re going to try this vow renewal thing again, so we get Eric Young and Orlando Jordan come back out again, followed by Jeff Jarrett, and finally Karen is walked out to the ring by Kurt, who has a big scary smile on his face as he leads his ex-wife to the ring/altar. He hands Karen over to Jeff and gives Jeff a nice pat on the back, then steps off to the side to enjoy the ceremony with a big smile on his face. The Jarretts renew their vows to the overwhelming boos of the crowd, then read bonus vows that they prepared especially for this occasion. Jeff says that now Karen is married to a real man and not a gutless excuse for a man, and he’ll forever treat her like the princess he is, and she will not be unappreciated by a man who didn’t deserve her in the first place. All the gold medals in the world couldn’t symbolize his love for her, and she truly is the wind beneath his wings. Karen says this is a little overwhelming, but she’ll do her best: Jeff is right, he is a real man and not like another man because from the moment they fell in love, he made her his first priority unlike another man. He made sure that whatever the princess wanted, she made sure she got it, and every night before they go to bed, he makes sure his princess goes to bed happy. He’s not selfish and makes sure the princess is taken care of…unlike another man. Also, Jeff is an amazing father because no matter how many days he’s on the road or how tired and beat up he is, he walks through the door with a smile on his face and wants to know what they’ve been doing. Bottom line: Jeff Jarrett completes her. Eric Young gets the rings out of his shoe and they do the exchange (the crowd is booing the hell out of this), then the minister announces on the behalf of the State of North Carolina and Department Of Motor Vehicles, he pronounces them man and wife. Jeff kisses the bride and then Kurt asks the minister if they’re done, and the minister says they are, so Kurt tips over the podium and retrieves an ax from underneath and destroys the wedding set as the Jarretts head for higher ground. Eric Bischoff comes out with Bart Scott and sends him after Kurt Angle. ((Jarrett’s Jab – Football Player vs. Olympic Gold Medalist with an Axe. Gee wonder who wins…)) Scott heads to the ring and shoves Angle, then does it again. Angle says he doesn’t want any trouble and tries to leave, but Scott piefaces him so Angle takes him down and hooks the ankle lock, and Scott taps as Indestructible Security Inc quickly jumps in and drags Angle off of Bart Scott.
Jeff Hardy is backstage saying that it’s okay that the network won’t let him know who he’s facing because this is his home state and he’s going to walk out the TNA World Champion. We go out to the parking lot as a mysterious boot steps out of a limo…and we’ll find out who it belongs to next!
We’re back, and it’s main event time…but who is Jeff Hardy’s opponent? Yeah, you have to have been living under a rock not to know by now.
TNA World Title Match: Jeff Hardy vs Sting
They lead off with a repeat of the 3-3-11 graphic, green lightning on the trons and then Sting makes his way to the ring. Jeff Hardy is visibly upset, and Sting goes right after him and tries for the Scorpion Deathlock, but Hardy bails to the floor. Hardy slides back in and suckerpunches Sting and rams him into the corner and puts the boots to him, but Sting blocks a vertical suplex, picks the legs, and locks in the Scorpion Deathlock. He’s got Hardy right in the middle of the ring and Hardy hangs on and gets to the ropes and rolls out to the floor. Sting goes after him and suplexes him on the ramp, then takes him back to ringside and rams him into the guardrail and tries for a Stinger Splash, but Hardy moves and Sting cracks his ribs on the barricade. Hardy capitalizes by ramming Sting to the ring steps and tosses him back in the ring, hitting a legdrop and then going for the Twist of Hate, but Sting breaks free and no-sells Hardy’s offense and starts firing back, hitting a bulldog and the Scorpion Deathdrop for two. Hardy dodges the Stinger Splash and goes for the Whisper In The Wind, but Sting nails him and hits a top rope Scorpion Deathdrop and then drags him out to the middle of the ring for another Scorpion Deathdrop and covers for the win.
Winner and new TNA World Champion: Sting
The new champion holds the belt high as Jeff Hardy crawls to the back and we fade to black. ((Jarrett’s Jab – Glad to see that Sting is back, and the belt is around his waist again. Glad to see a TNA Title match with a clean ending, and while Hardy came out it seemed like any other Thursday night, but the buildup to Sting’s entrance, despite knowing who it was, had me on the edge of my seat in suspense for his music. It will be interesting to see how Sting’s title reign will play out with Dixie no longer in charge and Sting’s former protégé in charge of Fortune.))