We open the show with a video package recapping the opening and closing segments of last week’s show (The EV2.0/Hogan/Abyss segment and the ending of the Tommy Dreamer/Abyss match and the aftermath)
Abyss & Raven take on Rob Van Dam & Tommy Dreamer later tonight, but we get Tommy now, clearly limping to the ring. Dreamer calls Raven out to the ring to explain himself. Raven comes out to the top of the entranceway and stops, so Tommy asks him why he did it knowing what this meant to Tommy and everybody else. They were friends and enemies, but Tommy thought that was behind them now that Raven comes to Tommy’s house and his kids call him Uncle Scotty. Crowd starts an Uncle Scotty chant. Raven says they’ve known each other for 30 years, and he asks if Tommy really thinks he’s ever going to forgive him for stealing his girl from her, and marrying her, because those kids should be his. Raven decided to bide his time, dealing with Tommy for all these years, and now he got his opportunity to shatter Tommy’s plans into a million pieces. He plans to cripple Tommy (Tommy begins to leave the ring and walk towards Raven), and after he does that he’s going to find Tommy’s wife, give her some Hard Justice, and make her call him daddy. Tommy lays Raven out and starts beating him to smithereens, but Abyss comes out of nowhere to attack Tommy, but then Rob Van Dam runs out to make the save. RVD chases Abyss off with a chair, but leaves Tommy alone with Raven, who DDTs him at the top of the ramp. Mick Foley comes out with a barbed wire baseball bat and gives Raven a shot in the gut with it, then announces that there will be a clear winner at Hardcore Justice because he’s going to be the special referee. ((Jarrett’s Jab – I’m glad this isn’t going to be a goody-two-shoes group, that we’ll see a match with years of buildup behind it, although I wish would get more stuff like that))
We go to the announce desk with Taz and Tenay, who announce that tonight, Beer Money will face the Motor City Machine Guns in Ultimate X, Ric Flair will take on Jay Lethal in a Street Fight, and of course Abyss & Raven will take on Rob Van Dam & Tommy Dreamer.
TNA KNOCKOUTS TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS: Lacey Von Erich and Velvet Sky © vs. Taylor Wilde and Hamada
Lacey starts and Taylor gets a rollup for 2, Velvet grabs at Taylor from the outside, allowing Lacey to hit a fallaway slam, but tosses Taylor right into her own corner, and she tags in Hamada who destroy into Lacey. Velvet grabs Hamada from the outside and Lacey hits a flying knee and tags in Velvet, who snapmares and boots Hamada for a two count. Lacey comes back in and they repeatedly double whip Hamada into the corner and then hit a double STO and Lacey covers for a two count, then misses her backflip elbow, then completely misses another elbowdrop, allowing Hamada to hit a couple of shots and tag back out to Taylor. All four girls wind up in the ring and the faces leave the Beautiful People laying, but wait…Madison Rayne is standing at the top of the ramp as the mystery woman comes down to ringside. Taylor and Hamada stand distracted from them, allowing the Beautiful People to hit them from behind and Velvet catfights out to the floor with Hamada, and then Dumpy Ass hands a chair to Lacey, but Taylor Wilde dropkicks the chair into Lacey’s face and covers her for the win and the Knockouts Tag Team Title. Winners and NEW Knockouts Tag Team Champions: Taylor Wilde & Hamada
Madison stands at the top of the rampway looking quite unhappy, and Velvet doesn’t look any happier with her. ((Jarrett’s Jab – The Knockout Titles are a joke, get rid of them ASAP))
TNA WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP: AJ Styles © vs Rob Terry
The referee kicks Kazarian out of ringside and Kazarian won’t go, so Rob Terry clotheslines both Kazarian and AJ over the top to the floor. Terry goes out and picks up AJ and press slams him back into the ring. He chases Kazarian up the rampway and AJ tries a springboard move, but Terry shoves him off the top, then whips AJ into the ropes and kills him with a clothesline. Terry picks up AJ with a choke and slams him into the corner, then rams shoulderblocks into the gut. Terry with a backdrop and then charges AJ in the corner, AJ tries to get the feet up but Terry catches the feet, throws them down, and nails AJ, then chokes him so hard he actually drives AJ almost completely over the top rope, then lifts him up to the top rope and chokeslams him off the top. AJ lays in a series of chops to Terry, but Terry no sells so AJ gets a low blow behind the referee’s back, a Pelle kick, and the springboard 450 for the win. Winner by pinfall: AJ Styles ((Jarrett’s Jab – This basically was to showcase AJ’s talent, but could he face an opponent that has talent to make him look like he has somewhat of a chance against Angle next week))
Kazarian runs back out with the belt and celebrates with AJ, and then both men heard for the hills as we get a replay
We go to a video package recapping Kurt Angle’s quest to go through the entire Top 10 Rankings, one by one, until he makes it to number one, at which point he will challenge for and regain the TNA World Title. ((Jarrett’s Jab – I wish he didn’t put his career on the line so it’d be a surprise that he won 10 matches))
We go backstage to Jay Lethal (from “Earlier that Day”), and Kurt Angle told him he needs that one thing to make him a man, and going into his Street Fight with Ric Flair tonight, he’s going to bring the man.
Also backstage, Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne get into a pull apart brawl, and Lacey Von Erich gets shoved into a wall and knocked out. Velvet suddenly freaks out and goes to check on Lacey.
Best Of Five Series Match Four – Ultimate X: TNA World Tag Team Champions Motor City Machine Guns vs Beer Money
Roode takes a mic before the match and says that they don’t like each other, but the fact is that they have redefined tag team wrestling over the last few weeks. Roode says they’re a great team, but from day one, Beer Money’s goal has been to be not only the best in TNA, but the world, and the only way to be the best is to have the TNA World Tag Team Title, so tonight, in the MCMGs match, they’re going to defeat them at their own game and become four time TNA World Tag Team Champions. Sabin, who already had a mic in his hand, says that the belts around their waists mean they are the TNA World Tag Team Champions and the best in the world, and these belts prove it. Sabin says they chose this match for a reason: it’s their world and what they do, and the only way Beer Money’s going to get the belts are to pry them from their cold dead fingers. Roode says let’s stop talking and just do it.
The Machine Machine Guns hit Beer Money with rapid fire moves in the ring, then toss Beer Money to the floor and hit stereo dives. They head back in the ring and Sabin goes for the X, but Beer Money makes it back in the ring and pull him down. A Springboard dropkick sends Roode to the floor and a drop toehold/bulldog combo drops Storm, and Shelley gets a crossface/STF (I think) on both of Beer Money while Sabin climbs again, but they escape. Now Shelley goes for the X but Roode pulls him down into an inverted atomic drop (ouch!) and then they catapult Shelley into a DDT. Storm says he’s been drinking and sends Roode up to go after the X ((Jarrett’s Jab – I honestly thought they might play into Storms fear of heights from his feud with Rhino)), but the delay was enough for the MCMGs to come back with another fast paced series of moves that ends with Sabin hitting a delayed dropkick that sent Roode’s head backwards into Storms private region. ((Jarrett’s Jab –Youch! I hope Storm’s wearing a cup.)) Beer Money shifts the momentum when Roode suplexes Sabin and then pull Shelley down from the cables and nails him with a double snap suplex. Beer Money hit stereo clotheslines on Shelley in the corner and Storm puts him on top, but now Shelley gets an inverted atomic drop off the top and pulls Roode off the cables, then counters a throw attempt into a nasty spike piledriver that appears to have busted Roode open hardway. Shelley leaps over Storm into a double stomp on Roode, then goes back up to the cables. Storm yanks him down and nails the Air Raid Cutter just as Sabin gets back in the ring. Sabin climbs over Storm, but Storm climbs up after him so Sabin kicks at him and hits a top rope Frankensteiner off the cables, but then turns around right into a spinebuster from Roode. Roode pulls Storm up and has Storm come over so he can stand on his shoulders as he climbs out to the X, but the Guns recover, take Storm down, then yank Roode off the cables right onto Storm. Shelley takes Storm out to the apron and hits Sliced Bread #2 on the ring frame, and now it’s Roode and Sabin. Roode climbs above the cable onto the scaffolding and tries to climb out that way with Sabin climbing underneath and Roode walking on the ropes, but Sabin kicks Roode off and he crotches himself on the ropes and falls into the ring, allowing Sabin to get the X for the win. Winners: Motor City Machine Guns
Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and Miss Tessmacher are walking…wow. Who cares exactly?
We go to commercial and come back with Hogan, Bischoff, and Miss Tessmacher in the ring, and Bischoff wants to get right down to business with the Whole F’n Show right here on Impact. Abyss will be facing RVD in a Stairway To Janice Match, and Eric Bischoff is going to be the special referee. Also, the 5th and final match between Beer Money and the Motor City Machine Guns, Kurt Angle takes on AJ Styles, Angelina Love challenges Madison Rayne for the Knockouts Title, Jeff Hardy has an open challenge to anyone in the wrestling world, and Ken Anderson vs Matt Morgan vs The Pope. Kevin Nash’s music hits and he comes stalking out to the ring and he looks angry. He says he finally gets face to face with them, and once again his name isn’t mentioned. Hogan says Nash needs to open his eyes and see that they’ve all stepped back, and he needs to too. ((Jarrett’s Jab – Who’s they exactly. Jeff can still go. Hogan can’t and shouldn’t, Flair shouldn’t)) Hogan says their time is over and it’s time for Jay Lethal, the MCMG, Beer Money, and others to step up and take us to the next century. There’s no more conning for paychecks and no more politics, those days are over. Nash is aghast that Hogan is talking to him about politics, but Bischoff says all Nash’s career has ever been has been politics. ((Jarrett’s Jab – Nash isn’t the only person in that ring that has done that. At least Nash will job.)) Nash asks if Bischoff has ever gotten to a point in his life where he meets someone he shouldn’t mess with, and says that person is him, then nails Bischoff. He goes to nail Hogan but Hogan starts firing back on him until Nash gets a low blow and begins pounding Hogan down in the corner. Nash goes to the floor and gets a chair, brings it in the ring, and goes to powerbomb Hogan on it. Bischoff tries to break it up but Nash shoves him off, then thinks better of it and picks up the chair and goes to hit Hogan with it, but now Jeff Jarrett runs in and goes after Nash. Jarrett goes to grab the chair and swing it at Nash, but Sting (wearing red Wolfpac facepaint) comes in and smacks the chair out of Jarrett’s hand with his bat, then nails Jarrett with the bat and tosses the chair to Nash, who flattens Jarrett in the chin with it and nails Hogan.
We’re back, and Christy comes up to Nash and Sting backstage to try and find out what’s going on, but they just get up and walk away.
Orlando Jordan vs The Pope
Orlando opens the match by sucking on his finger for a very long time. Then he goes to wipe it on Pope, but Pope shoves him off, so instead Jordan shoots a duck under and a waistlock takedown. Pope reverses and Orlando tries to sit out, but Pope rides him and Orlando backs to the corner to break, but before he does he grinds on the Pope. Pope shoves him away, smacks the crap out of him, then rams him to the corner, but as the ref tries to force the break, Orlando sucker punches him and drops several knees onto Pope. Suddenly, Eric Young comes running down the rampway and begins furiously collecting the Pope cash that fell from the ceiling during Pope’s entrance stuffing money everywhere he can. Orlando gets distracted and tells Young to get lost, but turns around right into an inverted atomic drop and a backdrop, then hits the DDE for the win. Winner by pinfall: The Pope ((Jarrett’s Jab – His gimmick makes me hate him so much I forget and don’t care that he can wrestle. It’s just…garbage. This was a throwaway match and did nothing for Pope, Jordan, or EY))
Matt Morgan runs in and bowls over Pope with a clothesline, but now here comes Anderson, who runs out with a chair and chases Morgan off. Morgan heads for the hills, so Anderson and Pope have an uncomfortable staredown instead. Anderson tosses the chair to the floor, but the security guards from last week comes running out and start yelling at Anderson to get lost. Pope just walks off, but Anderson stares down the two.
Backstage, Christy is with Ric Flair and points out that he will be disqualified if any member of Fortune interferes, and asks if he can beat Lethal by himself. Flair puts over how well dressed he is, then tells Lethal that tonight, he has to look eye to eye with Flair, the greatest of all time. He is a wrestling god, HIS wrestling god, and tonight, Lethal dies.
Street Fight: Jay Lethal vs Ric Flair
Flair is wearing one of his suits, and distracts Lethal by reaching for something in his coat pocket before poking him in the eyes. He takes Lethal to the corner and chops away and then lowblows him. Flair goes to the floor and grabs a kendo stick and trash can from under the ring, but as he’s tossing all this stuff in the ring, Lethal dives under the ring on the other side and comes out behind Flair, who turns around just in time to eat a springboard dropkick. Lethal tears the jacket and shirt off and starts chopping Flair, stops to throw the shirt into the crowd, and goes back to chopping Flair. Lethal whips Flair across the ring and backdrops him, then grabs the kendo stick and blasts Flair over the head with it. Guess what? That’s right, Flair bladed. Lethal with more chops on Flair in the corner then he climbs up for the 10 punch count and Flair does the Flop. Douglas Williams comes out to ringside as Lethal nails Flair in the head with a cookie sheet and Flops again, so Lethal tears Flair’s pants apart, revealing his 80s techno underwear. Next, Lethal tears the belt off and starts whipping Flair with it and then tears his pants completely off as well as his socks. Flair tries a chop but Lethal responds with a chop of his own. Flair tries a trash can shot, but Lethal blocks and takes the can, which he then proceeds to bash Flair in the head with. Flair goes to the eyes and goes up top, but Lethal with another shot from the cookie tin to Flair, then he goes up and hits a top rope superplex and Flair is bleeding like mad. Lethal goes for the cover but Williams, predictably, pulls Lethal to the floor. Lethal nails him and goes for a top rope sunset flip, and pulls down Flair’s underwear, which gets blurred out. Williams nails Lethal with the X Division Title belt, and Flair goes for the cover, Lethal gets his foot on the ropes but Williams shoves it off and the ref counts to three. Winner by pinfall: Ric Flair ((Jarrett’s Jab – This was pathetic. Lethal is #5 in the Top 10 Contenders and he had to go through that. Flair is better than that. And personally, what did that do for Lethal?))
Abyss (with Janice on his shoulder) and Raven (with a kendo stick, presumably unnamed) are backstage, and they’re wrestling next
Christy is backstage with Rob Van Dam and says that nobody wants to be in his shoes over the next week. She runs down his matches tonight, at the PPV on Sunday, and next week against Abyss. RVD says she makes him not want to be in his own boots, but here is how the World Champion takes this: one match at a time. Right now, he’s focused on tonight and he’s going to give the fans what they want to see, and after that, he’ll celebrate his victory and focus on this weekend at Hardcore Justice. Jerry Lynn walks in and says that’s great because he’s already focused on Hardcore Justice where they’ll tear it up one more time, then wishes RVD luck tonight. ((Jarrett’s Jab – It’s a shame that TNA is putting up a ECW last stand and the match involving the TNA World Champ is only getting a 5 second cameo, and the other matches have no hype other than Raven/Dreamer))
Abyss & Raven vs TNA World Champion Rob Van Dam & Tommy Dreamer
The brawl starts on the rampway and Raven powders out as RVD and Dreamer double team Abyss. Abyss fights free and tosses Dreamer into the ring to officially start the match, and RVD goes diving over the ropes onto Abyss and then Tommy suplexes RVD onto Abyss. Raven comes from behind and clips Tommy’s injured knee, and Abyss nails Dreamer and hits the running splash in the corner. Raven tags in, blows his nose on a rag, and rubs it in Tommy’s face then tosses him to the floor as Taz runs through the history between Dreamer and Raven. Abyss tags in as Tommy rolls back into the ring and Tommy tries firing some rights at Abyss, but Abyss nails him with a big right and slams him, then covers for 2. Abyss tries another corner charge but Tommy moves and makes the hot tag, and here comes RVD going to work on Raven with clothesline after clothesline and finally a superkick. Raven tries to ram him into the corner but RVD blocks and kicks Raven in the face then nails Rolling Thunder for 2. Abyss is in and he tries to chokeslam both babyfaces, but they fight him off and double clothesline Abyss to the floor. Dreamer with the DDT on Raven followed by RVD hitting the Five Star Notebook Splash for the win. Winners: Rob Van Dam & Tommy Dreamer
Abyss rushes in the ring after the match and lays both men out. He picks RVD up and chokeslams him, then goes to do the same to Dreamer, but Stevie Richards comes running out and tries a Stevie Kick, but Abyss blocks and tosses him. Rhino runs in and beats Abyss down and goes for the Gore, but Abyss boots him in the face. Team 3D run in and bowl over Abyss with a double shoulderblock and go for 3D, but Raven is in with a chair and lays both the Dudleys out. Raven and Abyss celebrate, but the lights go out, and when they come back up, the Sandman is here! He lays out both Raven and Abyss with the cane and stands tall in the middle of the ring celebrating with the ECW guys. Mick Foley comes out with a few more ECW guys who are carrying a cooler and I guess they were ready to celebrate, but instead we go to a video package where all the ECW guys talk about their memories and thoughts looking back on ECW, as well as their thoughts on getting one last shot to do their thing. Finally, we run down the card for the Whole F’n Show next week, and we’re off the air.