Source: Wade Keller of Pro Wrestling Torch
KELLER’S TNA IMPACT REPORT
DECEMBER 11, 2008
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON SPIKE TV
-Clips aired from TNA’s Final Resolution PPV. The title of the show: “Angle gets Jarrett. It’s real. It’s damn real.”
-After the TNA opening aired, Mike Tenay opened the show as the camera panned the crowd. He plugged Abyss vs. James Storm in a “Beer Bottle on a Pole” match. Don West said the contents of the final three briefcases will be revealed.
-The Main Event Mafia walked out together, Kurt Angle at the front and Sting as usual lagging an extra step or two behind everyone. West and Tenay talked about how Sting managed to retain his TNA World Title with help from Kevin Nash in the six-man tag match at the PPV. Angle began by bragging about beating Rhino at his own game. Angle shifted to Jeff Jarrett, saying just over two years ago he signed a deal with TNA and he was happy to leave his former employer. He said he came to TNA with visions and delusions of granduer of taking TNA to the top, and he did everything he could. He said the more press and attention he got, the more his boss became jealous of him. He said Jarrett is such an egomaniac, he didn’t realize that he was making money for Jarrett. He said Jarrett began trying to pull him down. “You see, Jeff, I hate you more than I’ve hated any other boss I’ve worked for, and we all know who I’m talking about.” He said eventually he knew he’d have to face “the greatest wrestler who ever lived.” Now it’s set – just four weeks away at Genesis. He said his heart is calloused and his heart is cold. He said he feels nothing for him or his three little angels who live his life for him. He said nothing good will come out of this. He told Jarrett to buy his daughters some wonderful Christmas gifts to remember their daddy by.
A.J. Styles stepped out onto the stage as his music played. He shook his head at what he had just heard. He said at Genesis Jarrett will show what kind of leader he is and make an example out of him. He said he’s not there to talk for Jarrett, because he talk for himself. He said he had something to say to Sting. He said he’s heard him talk about honor and respect and doing things the right way, being a true champion. He asked hi how a man like him can accept a victory under those circumstances when Samoa Joe had him beat in front of the whole world. He asked if it was doing things the right way to win with help from Kevin Nash. Styles said he can look his kids in the eye and know he’s done things the right way. Nash reacted with sarcastic applause. Angle told him to shut up. He said he’s nothing but a punk. Angle told him if he’s a real man with balls, he’ll come to the ring and confront Sting face-to-face. Styles said this is between he and Sting. He told the rest of the MEM to leave the ring. Styles entered the ring as the MEM left Sting alone in the ring. As soon as Styles stepped into the ring, Styles yelled at him. Sting threw the first punch. The rest of the MEM joined in stomping on Styles. The Frontline charged to the ring – Samoa Joe, Consequences Creed, Eric Young, Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Jay Lethal, Brother Ray, Brother Devon, and ODB. Angle said one member of the TNA Frontline would be eliminated later.
-Jeremy Borash interviewed Mick Foley and Jarrett backstage. Jarrett said that what happened at Final Resolution happened. Jarrett said from this point forward he’s solely “King of the Mountain” Jeff Jarrett, the wrestler. He said he can’t afford to lose to Angle – not just for TNA, but for his family. Jarrett told Foley that he has to step it up now and he’s depending on him. Foley said this is what he signed on for, and he’d like to pay the MEM a visit. Jarrett said he’s got the stroke now.
-A commercial aired for the Kurt Angle DVD including a clip of Bruno Sammartino talking about Angle.
-They showed Tenay and West on camera at their desk with the crowd in the background. They talked about the Feast or Fired briefcases being revealed later. West announced an X Division Championship Tournament. First Round: Eric Young vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir, Alex Shelley vs. Black Machismo, Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt, and Consequences Creed vs. Kiyoshi.
-Lauren interviewed the Motor City Machine Guns. Shelley said have a knack for telling the truth. He said they’re getting attacked by video game characters and wondered how they fend them off – with a cheat code? He said they’re going to make the best of the situation to win the X Division tournament. He said Detroit needs heroes.
1 — SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR vs. ERIC YOUNG – X Division Contenders’ Tournament
West talked of Young’s frustration with winning the title twice only to have it taken away twice. Young went for a top rope elbow at 2:00, but Bashir moved. Bashir shoved the ref for colliding with him. Young then surprised Bashir with a twisting suplex into a bridge for a three count. Tenay said Justice was served.
WINNER: Young in 3:00 to advance.
-Brother Ray told the TNA Frontline that they were proud to stand by their side last week. He said they were proud to take on the MEM with them. “You guys are frickin’ warriors,” he said. He pointed at Joe and said, “I told you you are the last of the old school tough guys and the future of the business.” He told Styles he’ll be the next World Champion. He said they’re going to take it to the MEM, not wait for them to strike. He asked ODB to pass her flask, then he winced at the strength of the liquor. Ray said he’s headed to the ring to make Angle an offer he can’t refuse. Joe said, “What are you talking about, Bubba?” They used his WWE name!
-Borash plugged the TNA text messaging service. He then walked up to the MEM locker room. Foley walked out. He laughed and said, “Hey, I forgot how much I loved those guys!” They all walked and joshed around with him. Angle said it’s great to have him back home. Foley said, “You’re too much!” Borash asked if he’s okay. Foley said he just realized how much he’s travelled the roads with them and sees how misunderstood they are.
-A “TNA Cross the Line” vignette aired featuring heavyweight main eventers. “In this world, power concedes nothing without a fight,” was the phrase they all were spliced together saying.
-Lauren interviewed the Sarah Palin impersonator with the Beautiful People. The BP were excited about being part of her cabinet. Palin said they can’t go to the White House dressed like they or they’ll give the old poops in the Senate a heart attack. She said she brought them some old clothes from her wardrobe. She offered to give them a makeover.
-A vignette aired for Brutus Magnus wearing a hooded jacket and jogging. The screen said he is a “modern day gladiator born to compete.” Oh, and he’s coming soon.
2 — ALEX SHELLEY (w/Chris Sabin) vs. “BLACK MACHISMO” JAY LETHAL — X Division Contenders’ Tournament match
West said Lethal may try to win the X Title and then, when the time feel right, cash in his tag title shot and try to hold two title belts at once. Lethal climbed to the top rope at 1:00. Sabin jumped onto the ring apron. Lethal koncked him down and then dove through the ropes with a spear. Shelley called Lethal back into the ring and then kicked the middle rope into his crotch as he entered the ring. Shelley then gae Sabin his unnamed, rarely seen “finisher” for an all-too-soon pinfall.
WINNER: Shelley in 2:00. Just insultingly, ridiculously, pointlessly, damagingly short. But also not unusual these days.
-Sabin called out Foley afterward, telling him to give them what they won and what they deserve – the briefcase with the TNA Title shot in it. Sabin said, “We’re kind, polite, handsome, gentle men from Detroit, Michigan, so we’re going to give you one more shot, one more chance, Mick.” He asked him to waddle to the ring. “Do not make us come back there and get you because, if we do, you are not going to like what’s going to happen.” Suicide’s music played. He slid to the ring on a cable and took out Shelley and Sabin with his signature sudden style of offensive moves. Such an unfortunate name for a real-life video game character who has a chance to get over in the X Division.
-Lauren interviewed Matt Morgan and Abyss backstage. Lauren doesn’t even look like a grown-up next to Morgan. Morgan asked Abyss how many times he’s going to fall into the trap of Beer Money Inc. He asked him what he was thinking last week. Abyss apologized and said he made a mistake. Morgan said the cartoon characters they promised to introduce him to aren’t real. Abyss said he sees them on TV every week. Morgan said he has to quit being so gullible. Morgan said tonight he is to take Storm out. Abyss’s current character is getting closer to the real thing every week.
-Rough Cut on James Storm aired. It wasn’t a video that made you not like him. He talked about growing up on a farm in Franklin, Tenneesee. He said you learn a good work ethic on a farm. He said he didn’t grow up with much, but he didn’t know that. “Growing up in the South, I guess all rednecks kind of watch wrestling. I guess it goes hand-in-hand.” He said his favorite wrestler from “Dirty” Dutch Mantel. They showed a pic of him on the high school wrestling team with the best bullet ever. He said he had to quit wrestling because his dad died. He said he got a scholarship to wrestle, but broke his shoulder and that set him a year behind. He then got into pro wrestling. He said his first match was in 1997 against Tony Falk. He said he was so happy to tell his boss, whom he hated, that he quit as soon as he got the call to go to TNA. Seriously, that was a nice profile piece, but he’s a heel! Why make him seem so likable? Why not embellish a little and have him say something mean and nasty?
3 — JAMES STORM (w/Miss Jacqueline) vs. ABYSS
The beer bottle was in a bucket hanging on a hook on a pole in a corner. They brawled to ringside and into the crowd early. When Storm picked up a chair, Abyss punched it into Storm. He then splashed Storm in the corner. When Abyss began to climb to get the bottle, Storm kicked him down. Storm climbed to the top and grabbed the beer bottle, which meant it was legal to use. He drank from it first, but then walked right into a Black Hole Slam. Abyss grabbed the beer bottle. Jackie charged into the ring and grabbed the bottle out of his hand, then fled toward the back. She ran right into Matt Morgan, then turned around and ran back to the ring and under the ring. Morgan grabbed her by her legs and dragged her back out. He lifted her. Robert Roode gave Morgan a low blow from behind, then bashed Abyss in the head with a chair. TNA really has to stop using Abyss’s skull as a landing pad for stiff chairshots leading to the pin.
WINNER: Storm in 4:00.
-Afterward, Morgan beat up Storm and Roode. As he set up a Hellivator, Storm broke the beer bottle over his head and then pounded away at his head as Roode stomped on him. Abyss made the save with a chair, so the heels fled. Morgan continued to clutch the top of his head where he was hit.
-They were at a commercial break at the top of the hour yet again. Only for a minute this time, but still.
-Borash interviewed the MEM backstage. Borash asked Sting abotu the integrity of winning the way he did since he’s always talking about honor. Nash interrupted and said they agreed that the other side would have done the same thing if they didn’t first. He said there was a world title on the line. He said Team 3D and the “rest of the children” finally got a taste of their own medicine. Nash said he always knew Borash played for the other team, but he didn’t think he played for the Frontline. Angle pointed to the monitor which showed Brother Ray heading to the ring.
-Ray walked to the ring, mic in hand. He said he had a proposition for Angle. Angle told the rest of the MEM to wait back there for him. Angle walked out to his music. Ray tiold him to keep it professional because a lot of bad things can happen otherwise. Ray said the MEM wants to take over TNA. He said the Frontline will never sleep until they rid TNA of the MEM. The crowd chanted “TNA, TNA.” Ray said he likes the fans chanting at him. When they chanted, “You suck!” at Angle, Ray said he likes that even better. He said it reminds him of being back home in Philadelphia. He said if they destroy each other, they destroy TNA. “What do guys like me, you, and Devon do? Do we sell our souls back to the devil?” He proposed a one-on-one match, with no interference from their teams. Ray held out his hand for a handshake. Angle accepted it. West said the way Ray put it, Angle had no choice.
-Joe told Ray they’re not going to leave the arena. He said they’d be crazy to do that. Ray told them to please listen to a veteran and trust that he has things under control. Sabin and Shelley immediately agreed to leave. “You got it,” said Sabin. Funny. Joe said, “Fine, we’ll do it your way.” Styles said it’s stupid. They all paraded out. As Rhino passed, Ray said if anyone understands, he does. Devon asked him where he’s going to go. Ray said, “With them.” Devon said he can’t believe that the MEM won’t have Angle’s back. Ray said Angle is a legit Gold Medalist. Devon said, “That’s the only thing he’s done that’s good.” Ray said he has to take the handshake of an Olympic Gold Medalist. Ray said he asking him as nicely as his face could possibly ask. Devon said he’d see him later, then he left. Good segment.
-Back to Tenay and West on camera. Tenay said this is the definition of a one-on-one match-up. A graphic said that match began in 20 minutes.
-Backstage, Angle said he was going to keep his word. He said he’d take care of Ray quickly. Booker asked if he was sure. Angle said he is sure. “Trust me, I’m going to whoop his ass. I promise.” Booker said Ray is from the street and could go toe-to-toe with him. Angle assured him he could do it. Good build-up for this match.
-Tenay plugged the “Feast of Fire” briefcase reveals were next.
-The BPs dressed in Palin’s outfit. They were disgusted. Palin said they look just like Jackie O. They didn’t know who she was. Palin said they look like Beyonce. They liked that. Kip said they look better than Beyonce. Angelina Love told Kip not to feel bad that they haven’t been paying as much attention to him lately, but they had to run off and put on a few finishing touches. Palin said if they follow her lead, they’ll look like royalty just like her and Hillary.
-A video package aired on the “Feast of Fire” match.
-Borash stood in the ring with the three briefcases, Curry Man, Homicide, and Hernandez. He explained what was on the line. Hernandez’s was opened first. They had models in the ring, just like in “Deal or No Deal.” He won the World Title shot. he celebrated, grabbing the case and jumping up and down. Borash threw to a break after teasing he was about to open another briefcase, just like Howie Mandel.
-Borash asked Curryman if he was ready. Curry said: “Yes, title shot, please, yes.” Borash said he’s won over the hearts of TNA fans, “but unfortunately, although you are hot and although you are spicy, you may also be unemployed after this revelation.” It revealed, “Fired!” Homicide celebrated. His case revealed he got the X Division Title shot. Curry seemed confused. “Good, very much, thank you,” he said. Borash said they’ve got to send him back to New Japan Pro Wrestling. Curry said he loves TNA and will soon sign a contract. Borash said his contract has been terminated. Borash said, “We wish you the best in your future endeavors.” Security escorted him out of the arena. Borash congratulated Hernandez and Homicide.
-A “TNA Cross the Line” vignette aired. The same one as earlier.
4 — SOUJOURNER BOLT vs. CHRISTY HEMME
West said this was a shot for Bolt to really make a statement. Tenay said Christy might overlook Bolt due to her inexperience. West shifted to plugging Angle vs. Ray. Hemme won clean. Tenay said she deserves another shot at the TNA Knockout Title. The two shook hands afterward, but then Bolt slapped Hemme in frustration. Hemme pounced on her and punched away. The ref called for help from the back.
WINNER: Hemme in 3:00.
-Curry was shown resisting security’s escort out of the arena. Curry asked Lauren what the “Fired Title” is. Lauren said there’s no such thing and maybe he didn’t understand the rules. Security literally carried him away. Lauren said, “Aww geez.”
-A video package aired, “American Idol” style, on Curry’s journey in TNA for the last year. Mostly him dancing. The screen said “Curry Man: 2008-2008 – We Barely Knew Thee.”
5 — KURT ANGLE vs. BROTHER RAY
Angle jumped Ray from behind to jump-start the match. Angle suplexed Ray early and scored a near fall. Ray came back at 3:00 with a released back suplex on Angle. It’s never pleasant, given his neck problems, to watch Angle take that particular bump. The action spilled to ringside. They brawled toward the stage. Ray charged at Angle and went right through the stage wall. Tenay touted that they were fighting man-to-man one-on-one.
Ray’s face was covered in blood. The ref finally called for the DDQ. Tenay said the ref did everything he could to get the match back into the ring.
WINNER: DDQ in 11:00.
The camera followed them to the back where Ray swung objects at Angle. Ray threw Angle into a trailer out back. Then into the catering area. West said Ray is sending a message that he will do anything to stop the MEM. After throwing him against a wall, Ray told Angle if he didn’t have a wife and kids, he’d end his career right now. Angle called him “Bubba” again and smiled as the MEM attacked him from behind, including Scott Steiner using a pipe, Booker a chair, and Nash a board. They were no longer inside the arena, so it wasn’t a case of Angle breaking his word. Good beatdown, but Angle was too fresh too soon from the beating he took. He seemed totally refreshed almost instantly. Sting didn’t join in. Instead, he walked away, not wanting any part of this attack. Steiner bashed a bloodied Ray with a chair on the head. Ray tried to fight back, but every time he was immediately overwhelmed again. They threw him into a dumpster where he landed on Eric Bischoff’s corpse. Tenay said, “Think of the message this sends to the TNA Frontline.” The show closed with Angle saying, “Don’t mess with the Main Event Mafia. Yeah!”