WWE Heat Report: 1st June 2008
By Shaun Best-Rajah.com Reporter
Commentators: Todd Grisham & Josh Mathews
Ring Announcer: Lilian Garcia
Welcome. Today is an emotional day, as after this, the 513th episode, Heat will be no more. I thought we still had a few weeks left, but alas it’s not to be. Let’s see what’s in store for us. Vince McMahon’s draft and $1million announcements open up the show. Onto the swansong and four matches await us. We begin with……………
Snitsky vs Super Crazy
These two always have passable matches together. I wonder if Crazy can pull off an upset? Crazy has a serious look on him and prays on his way out. Maybe he’s praying for his job, as he has reason to worry, now that Heat will be no more. These are nervous times if you’re in the WWE mid/lower card. Snitsky catches Crazy with a boot then tosses him into the corner. The momentum sends Crazy out to the floor. Back inside, Snitsky punches and clubs the back as a ‘brush your teeth’ chant starts. Snitsky attempts a powerslam but Crazy slips down and kicks at the back of Snitsky’s legs. Crazy lands punches but he can’t whip Snitsky off the roeps. Crazy ducks a clothesline then staggers Snitsky with a dropkick. Snitsky bounces off the ropes, quickly hitting Crazy with a shoulder tackle. Snitsky is now limping from Crazy’s kicks. Snitsky drives Crazy’s back into the corner. Snitsky delivers three battering rams to the gut. Snitsky slams, drops an elbow, then traps Crazy in a double underhook wrench. Crazy fights out with knees. Snitsky clubs the back to cut Crazy off. The ‘brush your teeth’ chant starts up again. Snitsky Irish whips but charges into Crazy’s feet. Crazy lands a low dropkick then a top rope missile dropkick. Crazy opts for a cover instead of going for a moonsault and Snitsky presses him off at two. Snitsky grabs Crazy by the throat, throwing him into the corner. Crazy recovers to hit another low dropkick. Crazy leaps off the second rope right into a big boot. The end is nigh as Snitsky delivers a pumphandle slam. 1-2-3. Another reasonable encounter from both. Here is Your Winner: SNITSKY. Josh says as a positive, Crazy can never, ever lose on Heat again. Post match, Snitsky limps around the ring while snarling at the crowd.
Highlights air from the recent Mexico tour. (Monterrey, Queretaro & Mexico City). It was the same package that aired on Raw this past week.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs Santino Marella
Hacksaw receives the usual fanfare. Santino gets a mic, but Hacksaw and the crowd irritate him by constantly interrupting with USA chants. At first, Santino covers his ears. Santino starts by telling Hacksaw he’s made a big mistake. Hacksaw Jim Dunkin’ Donuts is the perfect person to make an example of, to demonstrate to Rodney the Piper and cousin Sal just what kind of athlete he is. After referencing Hacksaw and Piper from the 1980s, Santino says Hacksaw is a legend at the bar and buffet. Just like cousin Sal, Santino is much bigger and stronger than Hacksaw. Today it’s not going to be for the USA. It’s going to be for It-al-ay. The crowd boo but Hacksaw buried Santino here by simply ignoring or dismissing his remarks. Santino flexes his muscles to begin. Josh plugs Santino’s Casa on WWE.com. Two lockups lead to stalemates. A third lockup sees Santino put his feet on the turnbuckles, so Hacksaw breaks to let Santino fall face first to the mat. Santino calls for a test of strength, before booting Hacksaw. Santino lands punches before driving Hacksaw’s back into the corner. Santino gets in some more punches before Hacksaw reverses an Irish whip. Both men mistime a Santino float over attempt as Santino catches Hacksaw in the head with his feet. Santino works over Hacksaw in the corner with punches and a battering ram. Santino delivers a snapmare then works over the back with a mixture of fists and feet. Santino pulls back at Hacksaw’s leg and hair before going to a chinlock. Hacksaw elbows and punches free, but runs into a knee to the gut. Santino scores a couple of nearfalls. Santino punches the back then drops two front elbows onto the chest for another nearfall. Back to the chinlock we go. Hacksaw gets up, Santino clubs the back, but Hacksaw turns the tables with a head ram in the corner. Hacksaw unloads with punches, before sending Santino off the ropes. Santino counters a backbodydrop with a boot to the head. Santino gets a nearfall then goes to a third chinlock. Hacksaw gets up and elbows free, as he backs Santino to the corner. Hacksaw hits three battering rams, then hiptosses Santino out of the corner. Hacksaw goes for the three point stance clothesline, but Santino moves and Hacksaw hits the corner. Santino rolls Hacksaw up, hooking the trunks for the cheap 1-2-3. A crap showcase in preparation for Santino’s matchup with Jimmy Kimmel’s cousin Sal, on an upcoming edition of Smackdown. I hope I never have to see Hacksaw wrestle again. Here is Your Winner: SANTINO MARELLA. Post match, Santino goes over-the-top with his victory celebrations outside the ring. Josh says cousin Sal had better watch out. Yeah he might fall asleep. I know I nearly did here.
Grisham and Josh run down the One Night Stand card. Two weeks between PPVs is overkill, even in the eyes of this diehard fan.
‘WWE Vintage Collection’ hosted by Gene Okerlund premieres next Sunday, 8th June at 10am on Sky Sports 3 to replace Heat. Looks like I’m sticking around 🙂
Lance Cade vs Jeff McAllister
Cade has a new titantron but has kept the Cade and Murdoch music. McAllister gets quite a good hometown pop for a jobber. He’s no relation to Robbie and Rory of the Highlanders by the way. He’s actually a talent of Denver’s local Indy fed ‘Fusion Pro Wrestling.’ No word on when the big Cade vs Murdoch blowoff match is. Josh and Grisham verbally bury Murdoch throughout the match with subtle digs at his singing, while alluding to the fact that Cade got tired of him, like an old girlfriend. Doesn’t look like Murdoch’s future prospects look too good then. Cade backs McAllister to the corner, where he beats on his back with clubbing blows, to a chorus of boos. The referee steps in but Cade soon goes back on the offensive with a series of forearms. McAllister punches back until Cade clotheslines him down. Cade drives two knees into the back before delivering a back suplex. Cade talks trash as he slaps McAllister’s face. Cade drops a big legdrop and McAllister writhes in agony. Cade kicks at McAllister before getting him up, only to club him back down. Cade delays in-between moves knowing he can finish this at any time. Cade no-sells a gut punch and clubs McAllister down again. McAllister uses Cade to prop himself back up. Cade Irish whips McAllister as Grisham says Cade wants to main event WrestleMania and become the WWE champion. Cade charges into McAllister’s feet but recovers quickly to club McAllister back down for a third time. Cade finishes things with a sitdown powerbomb for the
1-2-3. Good showing from the aggressive Cade, who received some nice crowd heat. The sky’s the limit for him. Here is Your Winner: LANCE CADE. Post match sees Cade simply get his arm raised as the camera cuts away.
Charlie Haas vs Robbie McAllister
For the last time it’s now time for the Main Event. It’s heel vs heel as neither man does anything to endear himself to the crowd on their way out. These two teased problems in a tag match vs London and Kendrick two weeks ago on Heat. I guess this is the blowoff match to solve that dispute on the final Heat. Dubious choice to end Heat’s ten year stretch. Haas and Robbie lockup, Haas grabs a leg then lifts Robbie into a takedown. Haas quickly rolls around the mat, displaying some nice amateur techniques. Haas goes to a front facelock as Grisham gives us some Heat trivia. Edge vs Jeff Jarrett was the first ever Heat match and Owen Hart took on The Rock in Heat’s first Main Event. My, how times have changed. Haas grabs an arm as he delivers some shoulder thrusts and an armdrag. Haas ties Robbie’s arm up around his feet. Robbie uses a kick to the head to get free. Robbie fights back with a punch, headbutt and uppercut combo. Haas counters a hiptoss into a fireman carry takedown. Haas delivers a clothesline then applies an armbar. Robbie uses punches and headbutts to put Haas in the corner. The referee steps in allowing Haas to boot then shove Robbie into the corner. Haas dishes out some boxing jabs to the face before landing an Irish whip. Haas misses a charge, crashing shoulder first into the ringpost. Robbie kicks away at Haas in the corner. Robbie slams then drops a leg across Haas’ arm and sits on an armbar tieup. Both men exchange kicks. Haas gets the worst of a headbutt attempt, allowing Robbie to kick and club the shoulder. Robbie rams Haas’ shoulder into the corner twice, then hits a shoulder tackle for a nearfall. Robbie traps Haas in an armbar. Haas punches free before sending Robbie into the corner. Both men cancel each other out with kicks. Haas runs into a kick to the shoulder. Haas rolls around the mat in agony, as Robbie weakens the shoulder some more, with several knees and punches for a couple of nearfalls. Robbie goes back to the armbar. Robbie uses a sitdown shot and stomp to keep Haas grounded. Robbie stomps on the shoulder then lands a falling headbutt to the chest for a nearfall. Robbie kicks the shoulder some more as Haas goes to the corner to recover. Haas kicks back then hits a high knee to Robbie’s face. Haas uses his one good arm to punch until Robbie knees the gut. Robbie throws Haas to the outside. Haas gets on the apron but Robbie hotshots the shoulder across the top rope and Haas falls back to the floor. Haas goes underneath the ring and re-emerges with a red mask, to resurrect the mask gimmick. Haas sneaks back into the ring, poses, then unloads on Robbie with a boot, punch, chop combo. Robbie reverses Haas off the ropes, but Haas comes back with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors, followed by a front forearm. With Robbie in the corner, Haas charges forwards and hits a battering ram. Haas staggers Robbie with a big boot to the face. Haas executes a belly-to-belly suplex before going to the top rope. Robbie gets up but Haas catches him with a nice cross body for the 1-2-3. Good, solid matchup which unfortunately was bereft of any crowd Heat. How fitting for the curtain to come down on Heat in a heatless Main Event. Here is Your Winner: CHARLIE HAAS. Post match, Haas poses in the corner. It’s a clean sweep by the heels this week.
Grisham thanks everyone for supporting Heat over the years before saying he won’t see us next week to end the show.
WWE Heat Report: 1st June 2008