Best Supporting Commentator
Jerry “The King” Lawler
John Bradshaw Layfield
And the winner is… John Bradshaw Layfield
JBL would like to thank Wall Street for making him filthy rich. He also announces that his partner, Michael Cole, literally stinks and that he’s a piece of garbage. He continued rambling on about Cole before being lassoed off stage.
Best Music for an Entrance
Mike “The Miz” Mizanin
And the winner is… Edge
To celebrate his first Golden Statue, Edge decided to perform a SEX CELEBRATION with the Statue! No doubt this Rated R Superstar is missing Lita…
Best Editing of a Show
Saturday Night Main Event
And the winner is… ECW
Before the ECW production team could make it to the stage to accept their award, Vince McMahon appeared and demanded they take their seats. He began his tirade of how horrible the show is live and said they’re all FIRED! Vince then announced that the winner, by default, was himself.
Best Special Effects for an Entrance
And the winner is… The Undertaker
The Undertaker couldn’t be here tonight, however he did prepare an acceptance video which can be seen HERE. Be sure to check it out!
“The Samoan Bulldozer” Umaga
“The Reject” Shannon Moore
And the winner is… Shannon Moore
He didn’t have much to say: “Question Authority. The system is oppressive.” Nobody to thank. Nobody to applaud him. Nobody to really give a damn, really.
Best Costume/Ring Attire
And the winner is… Ashley Massaro AND Kelly Kelly
It was obvious neither girl wanted to share as they argued over who should be the real winner. But during the catfight, several other divas stormed the stage and joined in the fight. Thankfully, good ol’ Balls Mahoney stepped in and declared another round of Extreme Strip Poker… which can be seen HERE. REALLY be sure to check that out!!
Best Performance by a Duo or Group
Paul London and Brian Kendrick
ECW’s New Breed
The Spirit Squad
And the winner is… Paul London and Brian Kendrick
But before the presenter can even finish, London and Kendrick sprint toward the stage and slide across the wood floor- clearly knocking down everything in their path. I can tell you, the voting by the academy wasn’t even close on this one! It was a no brainer- they’ve held the titles for nearly a year, shattering MNM’s old record.
Best Performance by a Female
And the winner is… EVERY WWE DIVA ON THE ROSTER!
If you didn’t get enough of the Diva Poker, then head over to WWE.com and decide who this winner is yourself! Just to note: There is no deadline, so please don’t rush to make a decision. You are allowed to view as many videos as many times as you like.
Best Performance by a Male
“The Animal” Batista
And the winner is… John Cena
One thing became clear… “The CHAMP is HERE!” Cena put a lot of thought in his acceptance speech, thanking his parents, childhood friends, Vince McMahon for giving him a chance, and saluted the Armed Forces proudly. Before exiting, he shared his respect for Shawn Michaels by recalling how much he idolized him growing up. HBK walked onto the stage, wiped a single tear from his eye, and shook Cena’s hand.
The Oscar music began to play, signifying the conclusion of the evening. As the announcer was about to thank the viewers, the Showstopper delivered some wicked powerful Sweet Chin Music to Cena knocking him off the stage and into the 13th row! “The only thing I ever idolized as a kid was the WWE Title. And when I take it from you at WrestleMania 23, you’ll be idolizing me again- but for slightly different reasons.”
Orton then nailed a chair shot the back of Michaels followed by an attack by the SmackDown! Tag Team Champions London and Kendrick on Orton. And then the ECW New Breed charged the stage and began to beat down all of the guys on the stage. Before anyone knew what was going on, the entire company roster emptied onto the stage!!!
The final moments of chaos are capped by a Swanton Bomb from the stage lights by Jeff Hardy, a vicious chokeslam through the stage by Kane, a 50 foot flying elbow from Shane McMahon, and the culmination of Edge’s SEX CELEBRATION with his statue!!!
As we fade to black, the WWE logo flashes across the screen.