All right, enough shilling; tonight, the biggest event of the summer is upon us and this year is truly a big event. While the buildup for the PPV has not been ideal or anywhere close to it, every single match, and I do mean every single match, could easily fit into the main event of any other PPV. There is no filler. There are no curtain-jerkers. This is a stacked card that is so stacked, it risks shunning certain stars/storylines or completely burning out the crowd by match three. I’m going to go with the first option and put the safe and smart bet on the two SmackDown! matches being condensed like at WrestleMania. In all honesty, I would be surprised if WWE didn’t throw in an eighth match in the opener or between two big matches as complete filler. Something like Finlay versus Bobby Lashley, Johnny Nitro versus Kane, Hooliganz versus OVW Rejects, or Highanders versus Spirit Squad. If I had to guess, I’d go with Johnny Nitro versus Kane, but it’s anyone’s guess and they probably just go through a bout of paper-rock-scissors to decide. Seems to be how they decide most anything in there; it would explain the reasoning behind calling up Elijah Burke, KC James, and Idol Stevens when Brent Albright wasn’t good enough. Enough ranting, whichever match does get added, you can bet your ass it will be short as hell with the commentators spending time pumping up the rest of the card.
But let’s get off that point. We have seven matches here that have been announced and literally, I could see any of these matches main eventing another PPV. Of course, most dwarf ones like Guerrero-Mysterio, but my point remains. This is perhaps one of the weirdest Summerslam in years as we practically knew the whole card months before, yet WWE hasn’t done much to make any of the matches seem worthwhile except for Foley-Flair. This PPV will definitely show how well WWE can survive on just star power and championship matches because the build-up definitely sold no PPVs for any match outside of the one I already mentioned, which seems like a fluke if anything. Nonetheless, I expect Summerslam to be a good PPV tonight; if it’s not, I think it would be the ultimate embarrassment for WWE. Literally, the ultimate embarrassment. There are some matches that might be a pain to get through, but others that will definitely be good. Let’s take a look at the card, shall we?
Rey Mysterio Vs. Chavo Guerrero
If I had to pick a match least important to the card, it’d be this one. I think this literally has the least amount of people caring for it. The upside though is that it’s Rey Mysterio and Chavo Guerrero in the ring so you know it’s not going to suck. Just look at No Way Out 2004 if you don’t believe me. Granted, that match got twenty minutes and this one will be lucky to get ten. Despite it all, I expect it to be good and better than others. It will be very interesting to see how the crowd reacts to the match though as Chavo Guerrero, despite his in-ring prowess, just can not connect with the crowd and has failed on the mike each and every time. Poor Chavo. I really do think the guy is very good in the ring, but he’s ten times better playing off somebody who can connect like Eddie could. That’s why Los Guerreros worked so well. You had the perfect all-around worker in Eddie Guerrero and you had a top-notch worker in Chavo Guerrero who didn’t stink elsewhere, but was definitely pushed up by being with Eddie. Enough of that; this match is rumored to have a Vicki Guerrero heel turn which may very well be the dumbest thing in the history of wrestling. Hey, remember that guy who died and had the entire wrestling audience mourning his loss. Remember how beloved he was? Didn’t he have a nice, lovable wife? I know! Let’s turn her heel. I know the WWE bashing on the creative team is cliche, but seriously, how the hell do you come up with this crap? I think it’s obvious who’s going over here. What’s not so obvious is where the hell they are going to go with this storyline/feud afterwards. So to sum up, it will be a good match probably with a horrid finish and we will have a beloved widow as a heel. Great.
Predicted Winner: Chavo Guerrero
I Quit Match
Mick Foley Vs. Ric Flair
No doubt about it, this will be a show-stealer and will definitely be the best match of the night and may very well be the best match of the year. To do that, in my opinion, you have to beat (in no order) Edge versus Mick Foley, Undertaker versus Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit versus Finlay, Mitsuharu Misawa versus Takeshi Morishima (e-mail me if you want to see this match), and KENTA versus Naomichi Marufuji. That’s no small task, but I truly believe that Foley and Flair can beat this. Oh, before I forget; it should be noted I haven’t seen the Dragon Gate trios match from ROH, but it would have to beat that as well. Really, I think Mick Foley wants to try and surpass the “I Quit” match involving Terry Funk and Ric Flair from 1989. They’ve been bringing it up so much and referencing it that it seems plain as daylight to me. To surpass that match, that’s a bigger task than all of these matches, maybe combined. But it will be interesting to see what happens and no matter what, we will get a classic, great match that will definitely shoot to the top five, if not very top, of people’s Match Of The Year list. As far as who will win is concerned, I’ve heard a lot about either man not wanting to win and wanting to put over the other, but no matter how you slice it up, Ric Flair’s got to win this one. I just can’t see it falling any other way and it would be so easy to capitalize on this feud with an Edge & Ric Flair feud after Survivor Series that culminates in Flair’s final run on top before dropping it back to Edge. Flair’s last hurrah before going out. Of course, we’ve been saying that for years.
Predicted Winner: Ric Flair
D-Generation X Vs. The McMahons
I can’t think of a main event feud intriguing me less than this one. Actually, on paper as it stood a few months ago, the feud was fine. After it’s all said and done, it’s ridiculous. The only plus is that it got Umaga two big wins, but I really can’t see where they are going with Umaga from here especially since he just squashed NWA-VA’s own Alexxx Sage on Monday Night. The only thing funnier than that was seeing him in Drake Tungsten’s clothes look like his very skinny and lanky twin. That reminds me; hey, Sage. That nickname you gave me on the way to Saluda sucks! Anyway, this feud sucked. It sucked something fierce. However, I seriously doubt the match will. It will probably be a good match that will have a hot ending that will no doubt see DX go out on top. I really just can’t see Shawn Michaels and Triple H in the same match delivering a dud. I can’t even see Vince or Shane doing so since when they do work, they try to give it as much as they can. Really, this match shouldn’t be anything but good, but the question of the night is: does anyone care who wins or where they go with it from here? If the answer is yes, God help us all.
Predicted Winners: D-Generation X
Hulk Hogan Vs. Randy Orton
Man alive, this is Orton’s biggest test to date and I don’t mean in kayfabe. Last year, Shawn Michaels pulled a four-plus star match out of Hogan’s ass at Summerslam. This year, Orton will be lucky for the match just to be a dud. I can’t imagine how Hogan could even stand the whole match, but like I said, this is Orton’s biggest test to date. This is his chance to shut up all the critics about his in-ring work. This is his chance to prove he can carry people and he is a great worker. Personally, I don’t think he is a great worker or could carry Hogan to the bed from the couch he injured himself on. But I have been wrong before and I will be wrong again in the future and I’d love to be proven wrong tonight. Anything would be better than watching Hogan and Orton fall over each other for twenty minutes. One thing’s for certain: this match will definitely be better than the horrid build-up and drama we’ve been subjected too. By the way, anyone who think Orton has a chance at winning is just deluding themselves into a big letdown. Hogan has creative control. He hasn’t been anxious to put over someone in years and I doubt he’s going to start today.
Predicted Winner: Hulk Hogan
ECW World Heavyweight Championship
Big Show (c) Vs. Sabu
This will be interesting for the fact that it’s an ECW World title being defended on WWE PPV, Summerslam even. As with any Sabu match, the match will definitely have a number of botches, the only question is to how many? If it goes over five minutes, I’d say 3. Over ten, I’ll go with 5. More than that, I think you’re just asking for trouble. I’ll be interested to see which match gets put first: the “I Quit” match or this one. Why? Both guarantee mayhem, violence, and a lot of blood. Going by logic, I’d bet this would be a toned down ECW match simply because of Flair & Foley on the same night, but like I said in the beginning, they could easily burn out the crowd by match three and this scenario could do it. While I think it would do some good to put the belt on Sabu, I don’t think it’s going to happen tonight and no doubt will Rob Van Dam and Paul Heyman get involved. This will definitely be better than that crap ladder match on Tuesday though.
Predicted Winner: Big Show
WWE World Heavyweight Championship
King Booker (c) Vs. Batista
Like the DX match, we saw this one coming months ago and WWE managed to make us care less about it due to the horrid build-up. While it was obvious Batista would win tonight, I’m actually thinking that Booker will retain via screw job. As obvious as it has been that Batista is getting the title as soon as possible, I think they will hold off on it. Why? With such a packed card, there’s so much else to overpower Batista’s title win sadly. If I had to do it, I’d put the title match and victory on the first SmackDown! on the CW Network. Start off with a big bang. Knowing WWE though, the show will probably be like a poor man’s RAW Homecoming and will feature a contract signing between the two for No Mercy. As far as the match goes, I don’t expect it to suck, but I’m not expecting anything mind-blowing or even noteworthy. It will probably be an average match sandwiched in between better and bigger matches. You know, your typical SmackDown! main event match on a big PPV.
Predicted Winner: King Booker
WWE Championship Can Change Hands On DQ
Edge (c) Vs. John Cena
I can’t see Cena winning it. I really, truly, honestly can not see John Cena walking out with the title belt. I know it’s in Boston, I know it’s set up for Edge to win it back at Unforgiven; I know it all. I just can’t see it. They spent the last two years trying to give the importance back to titles after years of hot-shotting it and by Cena getting it tonight, it would defeat literally the whole purpose of last year’s title reign by both he and Batista. With that said though, it’s WWE so it was a no-brainer to give Cena the title, right? Seriously, I just can not imagine it. I’m going to be wrong, I know it, but I just can’t see Edge losing the title and becoming a three time champion in the course of eight months. Reports have said the match was good on house shows so hopefully it will show Edge’s and Cena’s worth as main eventers that they didn’t show at the Royal Rumble. I don’t know. All I know is that WWE is going one of two ways after this one and I fear they are going the wrong way. John Cena can afford a clean PPV loss and his merchandise will still sell as strong as ever. You aren’t going to lose any money putting Edge over and I bet it would work towards making Edge a better and bigger draw & star than you ever thought Cena could have been.
Predicted Winner: Edge
There you have it. Seven matches. Seven big matches that, on paper, make the PPV seem like one of the best in recent memory, but make it look like one of the worse with the build-up. Really though, I don’t think this had to do with anything except the addition of the new brand and the return of DX. The nostalgia high that WWE has been on this year is responsible for this stacked card and we will have to wait till tonight to see if that’s a good or bad thing. Me? I’m betting on a fluke win for WWE. Sadly, WWE will try this again soon for different results. Much different results.
Overall, I think the PPV will be good, but it’s only because of some of the stars they have and the amazing job Foley and Flair have done with such little they have had to work with. Again, I will be doing live coverage at TheWrestlingVoice.com so definitely try to check it out. See if I’m wrong, see if I’m right, or just come to find out what’s going on and have a bit of fun. All I know is that WWE is definitely moving in a new direction by the looks of this PPV and this PPV will be evidence as to whether or not that direction will work.
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