The normal WWE video plays as well as recap of the Big Show-Mysterio/low rider incident match from the special show on Tuesday. Thank you for letting me relive such an “awesome” memory, WWE. Not like I’ll ever forget it, but I’d rather not see the memory of Eddie Guerrero tarnished each and every day. They then show a shot of the SD set, no fireworks, with the set still damaged from Tuesday’s show as the section is taped off. God, I guess WWE is just not going to let us forget it.
Randy Orton‘s music hits and he comes out with his dad looking proud about what he did. Good for you. I’ll desecrate you’re dad’s legacy when he dies then and see how much you congratulate me. Orton gets on the mike and says he didn’t come here to brag about what he did because he’s not an arrogant man and doesn’t need too. What he did speaks for itself. You goddamn right, Randy; true Eddie fans will agree. Orton then says that for those waiting for Taker to rise from the ashes, it’s not going to happen because he killed him. Sure, you did, boy-o. Just like you did at No Mercy, right? Orton then goes on to call himself the only true phenom in the WWE now. Let’s see you headline PPVs for a decade before we call you that, Randy. Orton then goes onto say how he deserves the World title because of this. The crowd boos and he asks if they disagree and of course, they scream yes. Orton then starts to fumble through his words and insults to the crowd, only furthering the bad rep he has for getting too excited and fumbling words (like when he was general manager for a night in 2004). He says they are looking at the youngest World Champ ever, the guy who destroyed Taker, and the sole survivor of the past 3 Survivor Series matches. If he just calmed down and collected his thoughts, it would have come across so much better and he wouldn’t have made himself out to be a jackass like Cena does when he tries to do mat-work. Orton then says their opinions mean nothing to him. Is that why you freaked out when they disagreed? He then calls out Batista for a title shot at Armageddon, to which he demands. They pan the camera around and show Bob Orton. Why is he still in WWE? It’s almost like Chavo Guerrero Senior staying around too long in 2004, but at least he didn’t become the laughing joke like Orton is here. Well, maybe he did, but not as bad. Orton then says it’s not arrogance, but destiny. Wasn’t it destiny for you to win the title last year? Didn’t that end up in a “great” title reign and “amazing” series of matches that followed? Honestly, Randy, do you even think when you speak?
Because we might have forgotten it within nine minutes, WWE again shows the low-rider explosion from Tuesday night. Thanks again! They then pump up three matches later on tonight: Rey Mysterio & JBL versus The Giants Of Wrestling, Boogeyman’s in-ring debut, and a tag team battle royal which is up next!
Commercial break times one equals a pretty weak promo with the thought that WWE will never let us forget what they did.
Coming break, Cole makes a joke about the WWE splash page saying the Deadman rises only to fall two nights later. Funny, I don’t think it’s that hilarious. MNM then make their way to scout the opposition I guess. Man, the way they wear their belts is definitely the best way to do it and exude arrogance. Melina then does her patented entrance on the announcer’s table to which I think Cole shits his pants over.
Number One Contendership For WWE Tag Team Championship
Tag Team Battle Royal
Legion Of Doom, Funaki & Scotty 2 Hotty, The Dicks, Shooting Stars, Full Blooded Italians, & Mexicools
This was a fun battle royal and the first tag-team battle royal like this I’ve ever seen. Actually, I’ve probably seen another like this but the memory just escapes me. Not many things are innovative in wrestling today and if they are, they are promoted to the Nth degree so I’m fairly sure this has been done before. Anyway, the rules were that if one member of the team was eliminated, the whole team was eliminated. Made for some good TV and I think it could lead to a good split for Animal and Heidenreich. What basically happened was that while Heidenreich mouthed off at MNM, all other ten wrestlers ganged up on Animal trying to kick him out. Heidenreich caught on and then helped him out. Animal went on to dominate some wrestles like with a nice triple splash onto The Dicks and Brian Kendrick. From there, he Irish whipped Kendrick into a mess of people which in turn knocked out Heidenreich. If that’s not fodder for a break-up feud, I don’t know what is. Even more, it would just the thing to solidify Heidenreich (who is really not that bad) as a singles star and give a good exit for Animal.
Anyway, from there some more teams were thrown out and there was a pretty big lights f***-up which I have a feeling was not accidental. They then went to a commercial break (commercial break times two equals a nice, fun start to the battle royal) and as we came back, the battle royal started to pick up with some more London goodness. I swear London is the absolute king of Battle Royals. Remember that Battle Royal on Velocity before No Mercy? That was classic. Anyway, London got eliminated and it was down to The Dicks and Mexicools which turned out to be better than I thought. The Dicks were actually a lot better in this match than they were last week and their midget stature didn’t piss me off nearly as much. Super Crazy and Psicosis even did this nice double Russian leg sweep move that went right into a roll-through slam. You can’t describe it; it’s got to be seen. It was truly great and a nice trademark I’d like to see from the two used on a regular basis. In the end, the Mexicools overpowered the midget Dicks and became the number one contenders for MNM’s gold.
Winners: Mexicools
Order Of Elimination: Full Blooded Italians, Legion Of Doom, Funaki & Scotty 2 Hotty, Shooting Stars, & The Dicks
Star Wrestler: Paul London
Paul London is the official god of Battle Royals. He knows just what to do, how to do it, and how to place it. It’s like watching poetry in motion, and I mean pure poetry, not the coke-induced Hardy kind. I swear, every Battle Royal SmackDown! has for now on should have Paul London. I just hope he’s in the damn Royal Rumble this year; he’s just a human highlight reel in these matches. Remember the bump he took last year after Snitsky clotheslined him? I rest my case about London’s divinity.
After the match, the whole trio of Mexicools have a celebratory seizure in the middle of the ring while MNM tries to act cool, calm, and collected. I can’t wait for Mexicools versus MNM though; it’s nice that SmackDown! has an actual tag team division especially with some good workers too. When did that happen?
Josh Matthews is then backstage with JBL and he asks the former world champion (it seems so long ago that he was champ) what his thoughts are on the match he has tonight. He says that if he would have been there Tuesday night, he would have saved Rey Mysterio. He then says that they will have a winner and loser in the feud and Big Show & Kane have been wrecking chaos on his show. He then goes on to say he understands why people don’t like him because you don’t like what you can’t beat, but in times like these, they need someone like him. He will go out tonight with someone he doesn’t like to defeat the Raw giants because he’s the wrestling God. Pretty good interview, but most of JBL’s are and it was pretty much predictable. Still good though and people like Orton should take a lesson from him on being calm and only freaking out over the key points, not in the meat of the promo. After he finished, the SmackDown! screen in the backdrop starts to ooze blood. What the hell? Is this “The Shining?” First the lights go out and now this blood; must be a new direction for the Undertaker, though it looks like something that should be delegated to the Boogeyman’s push.
Commercial break times three equals a cross-gimmick angle for Taker who must have been taking lessons from the Boogeyman. I already have a feeling this is going to turn out crappy.
Booker T and the ever-annoying Sharmell then make their way out and Booker T is actually dressing pretty sharp and seems to be in high spirits. Well, if I was up 2-0 in a series against Benoit, I think I would be too. All Booker T needs to do is drop Sharmell and things on SmackDown! will definitely improve. If she didn’t speak, I doubt I would hate her as much, but as it stands, she opens her trap and my IQ falls a little each time.
