Byte This Report
Air Date: 07/12/2005
By Phelim O’Brien
It’s once again time for the only reporter that hates Ashlee Simpson more than Vince McMahon.
This week the Toddmiester was joined by the legend killer Randy Orton and the legendary Michael P.S. Hayes. The show started off with Toddy G doing his best Randy Orton pose. In fact, for a second I thought it was Randy Orton. What a pro this kid is.
The Grishman started of by talking about the WWE wrestlers being with the troops and the special for the troops on Dec 19th. Toddy G also talked about Bischoff’s firing and wondered aloud who would replace The Bisch and they showed a package detailing his demise.
Here is an idea for Bischoff. Why not send him over to Smackdown to manage Bobby Lashley? I mean he already has a feud going with Teddy Long. Turn Lashley heel and say that he has picked Bischoff as his manager because Bischoff masterminded Goldberg’s rise to stardom.
It gives Lashley a voice and allows Bischoff, who for my money is very entertaining, to stay on television.
And while I’m on this subject, the whole premise of Raw was completely ridiculous. However it still made me laugh. I know its not good when the whole show is full of skits, but as a self contained two hours of television it was a lot funnier then their recent attempts at humour. The Bogeyman also falls into this category. Completely ridiculous as an idea, but nonetheless very funny.
A caller called Cathy then rang in and asked why Toddy G doesn’t run for General Manager, as he is apparently sexy enough. Well that is all that matters. A guy from Miami then rang in and asked for the Grishman’s pick for Royal Rumble. The Grish said that a big guy like the Big Show will probably win.
Then they took a break and returned with Orton on the line. Toddy G started off by asking the Legend Killer why he didn`t come on last week’s edition of Byte This. Orton didn`t answer but said that he thought he had ended The Undertaker’s legacy and that it’s just not fair. AWWWW!
Randy said that he deserves a world title fight, not a Hell in a Cell match. Orton said that The Undertaker haunts him. You know, watching Smackdown sometimes I know exactly how he feels.
A caller then rang in and asked how Orton was thinking when he found out about the Hell in a Cell match because that is the Undertaker’s playground. Orton said that he was shaken but he has slapped ‘Taker in the face and he can beat him again. Another caller asked how it felt to shine at Survivor Series and Randy said that it felt great to be the last Survivor for three years in a row.
I understand why Orton is playing his character here and acting scared, but it annoys me how they switch gears on this show between kayfabe and real life. One week they are shooting and the next its all storyline. I think they should make up their mind about this show and decide what it is. Otherwise it can never gain any credibility.
Orton also said that these calls are to humour a few people and do what he has to for the company but he cannot explain what is going on in his mind. Randy was actually very good here at acting scared of The Undertaker. A 12-year-old called Wayne then asked why Randy Orton was going after the Undertaker. Of course Orton said that it is because he is the Legend Killer.
Finally, a guy called Pete asked when/ if Orton beats ‘Taker, who he would be going after then. He said that Batista isn’t a legend, but after he defeats The Undertaker he will be going after the world champion. After that they showed a clip of ‘The Cutting Edge’ with Hayes and Edge. How good was Michael Hayes in that segment?! I loved it. I hope this lasts for a few weeks.
When they came back, Toddy G asked Hayes for his perspective on what happened on RAW. Hayes said that he is all for controversy, but that Edge was just trying to be a shock jock and he clocked him because he was out of order disrespecting Terry Gordy. Hayes said that he isn’t bitter about the better lifestyles that guys have now, but that the problem is that there is no thank you to the guys who won those luxuries. He also said that you have to win something and that while Edge is good in the ring, he can’t back his trash talking up.
Another 12-year-old called Shane rang in and said that he agrees with Hayes. Geez, they need to stop putting 12 year olds on this show. Hayes said that he isn’t sure whether he will be leaving Edge alone on Monday.
Toddy G then asked about the General Manager’s role and Hayes said that if he was GM he would get Grisham out of there. The Toddmeister then asked about the Tag Team scene and Hayes said that it sucks because guys are not as dedicated to it as they used to be.
A caller then asked what was his favourite part of his career, and Hayes said that it was the part when he would end up in the bar afterwards. He also said that he will never be able o top The Freebirds but he gets a lot from being a road agent.
Somebody in the chatroom asked if Edge had the talent to be a world champion. Hayes said that all Edge is known for is banging another guys girl while he was off the road. He also said that Edge has the physical attributes to be champion but he wasn’t sure if he had the mental capacity to do it.
After that they took a break and Hayes was gone. When they returned, the Toddmeister took some calls about whether he would become General Manager. Toddy G said that it is a tough job coming up with exciting matches. Somebody tell creative!
Then another caller won a prize by answering that Randy Orton beat Rob Van Dam for his first Intercontinental Championship at Armageddon in 2000. Eric then rang in and asked if Austin would return on Monday night to become GM. Toddy G said that it would b fun but he doesn’t know. Another 12 year old (I kid you not) rang in and asked for Grishman’s opinion on who would win in the Hell in a Cell match and they both agreed it would be ‘Taker. Another caller asked who could beat John Cena and Toddy G said that he didn`t know who could beat him. The caller said that he was a big John Cena fan. So there are still some left.
Before they wrapped it up a caller asked about TNA. Grisham said that he has seen it but that wrestling alone doesn’t get it done and that a lot of guys are good in the ring but not so good at everything else.
And after another couple of pointless calls, The Grishman exited stage left to change into some garbage overalls.
But before I go, its time for the question of the week. Please email your answers to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Who do you think should be the next General Manager of RAW and why do you think that?