Before I start, I’d really like to say some things. You may skip over them if you want, but if you’re an avid or even occasional reader of this reviewing series, I suggest you read.
First off, I apologize for the tardiness my reviews tend to carry. Right now, I am backed up over a week including a week that practically had a show for every day of the week. My goal is to get to the point where the maximum tardiness I would be would be six days late. It may seem like that won’t happen until next week, but I will get there. I promise. I’ve got this Impact!, Survivor Series, Raw, SmackDown! Special, Heat, SmackDown!, Impact!, and Raw so far. I swear on everything I hold holy that I will catch up.
Secondly, I want to shill or plug something. It may be shameless, it may be cheap; but damn it, I’m going to do it! The reason for this shill is basically to plug a “contest” or “interactive session” as I like to call it. Why here though? Well, even though this isn’t a column (as most of you would think erroneously); it is posted among columns to get maximum exposure. With that said, I think it’s pretty much given that a lot of you read other columns. Linda Robin, David Long, Bob Magee, Mike Steele, et cetera; whoever it may be, I’m guessing if you are reading this review posted with columns, you read other columns. Now, all that out of the way, the “interactive session” I am hosting has to do with columns, more importantly, the quality of them and the columnist writing them. Last year is when I first started it; it was called the Triad Top 50 Columnists then to reflect the three sites the voting took place on (it was renamed 48 because two participants in the list dropped out) and in it, we rated the top 50 (then 48) columnists of 2004. Now, for the 2005 edition of this, we are about half-way through, but could still use your votes. If you like columns and you want to get your voice heard on who you think is the best columnist, I suggest you vote. You can vote on all columnists from established stars like Ms. Robin and Mr. Magee or rookies like David Landons and Chris Grebe. It’s up to you!
Finally (and I do mean that), I want to talk about my TNA reviews, which is very appropriate considering that this review is a TNA review. Now, in the past, I have found myself overwhelmed with the amount of feedback I get from my readers, which is actually more than I get for my columns (which may explain why I haven’t penned a column since October). My WWE and Indy reviews always seem to be taken well by my readers on a whole. Sure, there will be a guy who hates them, but for the most part, you guys seem to like my review of those promotions, whether I speak praise or bash uncontrollably. For TNA, it’s definitively split on those who like it and those who loathe it. Loathe is probably the best word for it too for those who do dislike my reviews on TNA seem to make it a habit of e-mailing or IMing me repeatedly on the subject. So it’s come up that the half that doesn’t like my TNA reviews (whether good or bad, and there have been good reviews of TNA by me) seems to think I am biased or “picky.” Now, that’s all good; I’m a strong believer in voicing your opinion which is why I started The Wrestling Voice. With that said though, I think those of you who enjoy my WWE/Indy reviews and not my TNA reviews are the ones biased. Those of you who take it upon yourself to talk with me at length about TNA are more often than not more inclined to like TNA’s product more than anything out there. Naturally, a reviewer who really doesn’t like TNA on the whole, will not be welcomed by your pro-six sided ring mind.
In reality, I am not biased towards TNA or any promotion nowadays. I call it as I really see it. I speak up when I like something and I speak up when I hate something, the problem is that I really have a lot to hate about TNA so therefore that side gets more attention. When they do something well though, I am there to man the vocal opposition to their good work. For instance, my Team 3-D funeral review; I would still rate that the best segment of the year (though I haven’t seen Bischoff’s trial and some TNA fans tell me that is better). In the end, if you find me biased at all, it is simply because I am on the whole bashing a product that you enjoy more than anything. I did look into this though and found that of my six published TNA reviews (not counting my dozens of unfinished ones), not one of them is solely negative. If there are 10 points to a TNA show, I would say the average of good points I would find in a show would be three or four. I fail to see how that makes me biased. If I was biased, why give them any credit at all?
Now, I’ve rambled on enough and I’d like to get some work today, so let’s get to the resolution. If you find my TNA reviews biased, good for you. I disagree and so do some readers I have polled, but disagreement is one of the key fabrics of life. The solution for you: don’t read it. Unless the TNA product drastically changes, which no promotion has done overnight, I will maintain my current composure of TNA reviews. Down the line, if you think TNA is doing miles better than last you read me, then you might peak your head in for a read. Otherwise, don’t read. Why read something that is just going to infuriate you? Simply read my other reviews if you want or don’t read my work at all; I am not forcing you nor will I stay up at odd hours of the night worrying that I lost readers that hated my work. If I sound bitter, I don’t mean to, but I really am adamant about this. I want people to read my work and enjoy it, so naturally, if you do not enjoy it, don’t read it. I am willing to change some things about my writing style, but my opinion on wrestling does not change forcibly nor would I want it too. With all that said, if you still want to read my reviews, good for you and I hope you enjoy the work below. I still welcome all feedback and you can e-mail/IM me at the contact information listed below. Like or hate my words, I love talking to readers because I love talking about wrestling. I am sorry for the delay on this review, in more ways than one, and here we go:
We start off with the normal TNA video followed by a recap of the Monty Brown/Christian segment from the week before. Of course, Christian Cage is a great guy to have with the mike, but Monty Brown? Anything and everything that guy does just seems horribly forced and scripted to the Nth degree that I can’t even stomach it. I apologize if you like Monty Brown, but I can’t stand the guy at all. Anyway, after that, we get our Impact! opening video and we start off the show, which ironically, is with a Monty Brown match.
Monty Brown Vs. Helvis
Well, at least it was short! Really, that’s the only thing I can say about Monty Brown squashes. I have seen some really fun squashes in TNA this week especially the Abyss/Siaki one a few months (or weeks, I can’t remember) ago. Monty Brown squashes aren’t fun in the least, but it is doing wonders for Brown’s character. Honestly though, if Brown is to be a heel, I think TNA needs to start booking him more viciously maybe with some post-match beat-downs or something. Anything to get him over more as a heel will help; because there are only so many times you can do a one move squash before it gets old. In the end, Brown hit the squash on the guy with the cool name and it was over. Thank god.
Winner: Monty Brown
Star Wrestler: Helvis
That is such a cool name and to be honest, even something as diminutive like that gives Helvis enough leverage to take away the Star Wrestler nod from Brown. Period.
Afterwards, it seems the Morphoplex move of the night is the Pounce (isn’t it every week) and we go right into a recap of the 3 Live Kru/Kip James storyline which will unfold tonight. The music of 3 Like Kru then hits the ring and one of the few true factions in mainstream wrestling comes out. Behind them very timidly, lies the most decorated tag champ in WWE history, Kip James. They get in the ring all peacefully and BG grabs the mike. He says as much as he loves Konnan and Killings, he loves Kip too. Of course, the Impact Zone fans decide to grace each love pause with an “aww.” Love in pro wrestling; who’d thunk it? BG then plays to the crowd saying they can do all the bull crap they want to, but they know his love is for real and all three of you are his family. Konnan then grabs the stick and says Kip always latches onto someone via in DX or almost marrying Chuck Palumbo. As the internet smark would say, buuurrrnnn! BG then plays the comedy (or acting, can’t decide which) well and says how is Kip supposed to react when Konnan is just cussing him in Spanish all the time; he doesn’t even know what Konnan is saying! I have a feeling this is one of those segments where the TNA creative department just gave all four guys complete control over the segment. If so, great job; it’s coming off really well thus far and you can tell by how comfortable they all seem to be.
BG moves on saying Konnan just treats him like crap and never gives him a chancel “what’s he supposed to do, give you a cupcake?” Oh, god; I think it would have been classic if Kip pulled out a cupcake for Konnan only to have Konnan pelt it at Kip like he does with the shoe. BG then says enough love, time for the truth and says it’s time to put it to a vote. He needs an up or down from each member and he puts it to Killings first. He tells him he’s never lied before and asks if he accepts Kip into the family. If they are going to play the “family” card so much, why don’t they just call themselves the 3 Live Family? Killings then says that all he wanted was the truth and he doesn’t doubt BG; any family of BG’s is family of his. All right, one down, one to go. Kip, Killings, and BG all embrace then and then they turn their attention to Konnan who throws a tantrum only to be shut up by BG saying he can’t stand the bitching any more. He then says either you’re with us or you’re against us. BG then asks if he’s ever given a reason for him to doubt BG and asks him to trust him one more time. He asks him yea or nay, to which the crowd chants yea. Konnan then says he’s embarrassed it got to this point (considering how things are normally handled in wrestling, I would say this went better than it could have) and says if he’s your brother, he’s my brother. They all put their hands in and BG takes the stick saying it’s not one, not two, and not even three; but the family treat, the Four Live Kru!
I’m a little torn on the ending to be honest; for one, it was pretty anti-climatic for the segment and you can even tell by the crowd. The crowd was into their every word even chanting yea after BG posed the question, but was there a humongous pop when Konnan said Kip’s his brother? Nope; not loud at all. Given the rabid nature of the Impact Zone, I would say you ended the segment on a pretty sour note. Even more, taken all the past backstage rumors into account, I would have much rather Konnan left and started his Hispanic heel faction to feud with 3 Live Kru. From there, you put the Outlaws in the tag ranks and finally put Killings in a steady push in the X Division. From there, maybe you can start up an American faction and get the Hispanics, Canadians, and Americans all feuding again or maybe bring back the original International Super X Cup. There could have been so many ways, but I think I’m less than pleased because it only solidifies that Konnan and Killings will both leave if they make 4LK, and I don’t think Killings will do well on his own at all. Still a good segment though, just a little anti-climatic for my tastes and not the road I wanted them to go down (though it was obvious that’s what was going to happen).
Commercial break times one equals a very nice, healthy stretch of TV with a good segment. Not too drawn out, but not too short. I’ve said in the past that TNA has too little talking to give meaning to what they do, but if they put in two segments like that each week, all things will definitely be remedied quickly.