Last night was the Survivor Series and on that show we saw the Raw brand go one-for-three in the interbrand matches with Trish Stratus getting the only victory of the night while Eric Bischoff and Team Raw were not able to go to the pay window. What will happen in the aftermath of Refereepalooza during the John Cena/Kurt Angle match when Smackdown referee Charles Robinson made the three count for John Cena? What will Eric Bischoff say about his loss to Teddy ‘Carlton Banks has nothing on me for lack of rhythm’ Long with help from the Boogeyman? What fun lingo will Vince McMahon use on the show? Will Edge and Lita find a member of the Cleveland Browns to insult or will Dmitri Young show up in Cleveland for the debut of ‘The Cutting Edge’? Will we see anything further between Trish Stratus and Mickie James? Will Ric Flair appear on Raw this week after being Pedigreed three times and then hit with the GameHammer? What is next for Triple H since he beat the Intercontinental Champion in a non-title match? Will the harmony that was evident on the Raw brand as they fought the evil Smackdown brand continue now that they won’t see their Smackdown brethren until Royal Rumble (except for Big Show versus Rey Mysterio on Tuesday night and any super shows between now and the Rumble)? Will Mickie James continue her road to becoming ‘dehot’ (trademark Dave Scherer)?
We are live from Cleveland, Ohio and your announcers are Joey ‘I was on the Survivor Series and all I got was schooled by Tazz’ Styles, Jerry ‘Flats’ Lawler, and Jonathan ‘I taught Vince McMahon a new phrase for Survivor Series’ Coachman.
Eric Bischoff is in the center of the ring as the show begins. He says that he will be calling out every wrestler on the Raw brand in the locker room to come to the ring because he is going to give them a piece of his mind. Last night at Survivor Series, all of the Raw superstars let the fans down. More importantly, they let him down. That is why he put everyone on notice that failures like last night will not be tolerated. Eric orders every Raw superstar to come to the ring and face the music. They do not come out so Eric tells them again. Nobody comes out after the second warning. Eric says that he is going to go into the back and fire the first person. Before he can finish, there is NO CHANCE that Vince McMahon would not come to the ring. Vince does the ‘Jive Soul Bro’ stunt walk to the ring. Vince has a mic and he says that Eric said that he was going to fire the first person that he sees. Vince introduces himself to Eric as the chairman. Vince does not want Eric to fire him because he loves his job and this business. Eric is not going to fire anybody. The reason why nobody is coming to the ring is because Vince told them that they did not have to come to the ring. It is not about them, it is about Eric. Eric told Vince that he had three goals. First, he said that Team Raw would defeat Team Smackdown. That didn’t happen. Next, he was going to defeat Teddy Long. That didn’t happen either. Third, Kurt Angle was going to defeat John Cena for the WWE Title. That didn’t happen either. Vince says that Eric set these goals and failed to reach them. Some people could construe that as Eric being a failure. Vince says that Eric has had some success. There were a few months with WCW until he burned it to the ground. Vince wants to know if Eric is going to burn HIS Raw to the ground. Vince tells Eric to shut up and says that Eric’s record SUCKS. Vince tells Eric that there is an expression that perception is a reality. Vince repeats that phrase. If the people perceive Eric to be a failure, then they will perceive Monday Night Raw as a failure. If Monday Night Raw is perceived as a failure, they will view Vince as a failure. Vince might be many things, but he is not a failure. Vince gives Eric an ultimatum. Set a goal and achieve it. Vince asks Eric if he can do it. If he cannot do that, Vince might have to look for a new general manager for Raw. Eric tells Vince that both of them know it is not as easy as it sounds. Despite Eric’s deficiencies, Eric has held this show together since 2002. The Smackdown General Manager situation has been a revolving door. Eric asks Vince to reconsider because it will be hard for Vince to find a replacement. Vince asks Eric to repeat himself. Eric says that he does not think he can find anyone who can replace him. Vince looks to the back and Shane McMahon comes out. Shane takes the mic and he tells Eric that he never really liked him and he is looking forward to seeing Eric go. As far as who else could replace Eric, he would be looking at him. Shane says that he was born to do this job. We go to commercial.
On Unlimited, Carlito is with Todd Grisham. He wants to know why Carlito would demand a match against Shawn Michaels. Shawn went into Survivor Series as the captain, and he lost the match. Losing to Smackdown makes everyone look bad. There were three words to explain why Team Raw lost . . . Heart Break Kid. Carlito says that he will win tonight and he will prove to Eric, Vince, and everyone else to show who the captain of Team Raw should have been.
We are back and it is time for our first match, Shawn Michaels versus Carlito
Before the match begins, we hear Carlito’s comments on Unlimited about how Team Raw would have won if he was the captain.
Carlito slaps Shawn before the bell and spits the apple in Shawn’s face. Carlito punches Shawn and sends Michaels out of the ring. Carlito takes off his shirt and chokes Michaels. Carlito runs Michaels’s back into the ringside barrier and then rolls Michaels back into the ring. Carlito kicks Michaels, but Shawn responds with chops. Carlito ducks a chop and hits a lungblower on Michaels. Carlito stomps on Michaels and punches Michaels before a side head lock take down. Michaels tries to escape from the side head lock, but Carlito gets Michaels back in the hold. Carlito with a shoulder tackle, but Michaels with a hip toss. Carlito kicks Shawn off and then Carlito with another side head lock take down for a one count. Michaels with forearms to Carlito to try to get out of the hold. Michaels tries for a rollup, but Carlito holds on to the ropes. Carlito tries to send Michaels over the top rope to the floor, but Michaels skins the cat. Carlito clotheslines Michaels over the top rope to the floor. Carlito with a pescado onto Michaels and then rolls Michaels back into the ring. Carlito covers and gets a two count and then Carlito stomps and punches Michaels. Carlito chops Michaels in the corner and then punches him. Michaels gets to chop Carlito in the corner, but Carlito returns the favor with more chops. Now it is Michaels turn to chop again. Carlito punches Michaels in the corner. Carlito with a springboard cross body off an Irish whip, but the momentum sends Michaels on top of Carlito. Michaels and Carlito exchange chops. Michaels with a flying forearm followed by a kip up and he rolls outside. Carlito with a baseball slide to Michaels and Carlito comes out after Michaels as we go to commercial.
On Unlimited, Carlito works on Michaels’s leg outside the ring. Carlito kicks Michaels in the leg and then the back of the knee and Michaels goes down. Carlito stretches the knee and then rolls into the ring to break the count. Carlito goes back outside and kicks Michaels in the knee. Carlito rolls Michaels back into the ring and covers Michaels for a two count. Carlito wraps Michaels’s leg around the ring post. Carlito wraps Shawn’s leg around the post one more time before Carlito returns to the ring. Carlito kicks Michaels in the leg in the corner and then kicks him in the hamstring.
We are back and Carlito has Michaels in a single leg crab and then he tries for a figure four, but Michaels with a small package. Carlito clips Michaels and then he tries for the leg, but Michaels pushes Carlito off. Michaels chops Carlito while Carlito punches Michaels. Michaels with punches of his own, but Carlito with a knee to Michaels and an Irish whip. Michaels with an elbow to Carlito and then he goes up to the top turnbuckle, but Carlito crotches Michaels. Carlito goes up and tries for a belly-to-back suplex off the turnbuckle, but Michaels knocks Carlito off. Michaels goes up top and hits the elbow drop. Michaels gets up and sets up for Sweet Chin Music. Michaels cannot hit the move and Carlito with a DDT for a two count. Carlito tries for a suplex, but Michaels flips over, but Michaels goes down. Michaels hits Sweet Chin Music for the three count.
Winner: Shawn Michaels
Eric is in the BischOffice and Kurt Angle enters and he is not happy. Kurt says that last night was the biggest screw job. Kurt wants to know how a Smackdown referee got involved. Daivari was the assigned referee. Angle says that he wants Vengeance and he wants the WWE Title. Daivari yells at Eric. Angle says that if he does not get what he wants, last night will have been nothing. We go to commercial.
On Unlimited, it is time to see the signs in the crowd.
We are back and it is time to take a look at highlights from the main event at Survivor Series featuring the way that Big Show was eliminated by Team Smackdown.
We are reminded that Big Show will face Rey Mysterio Junior tomorrow night in a ‘David vs. Goliath’ match.
Joey says that one match at Survivor Series was burned into our memories, the Last Man Standing Match. Lawler says that he has never seen Flair so bloodied. It is time to look back at the Last Man Standing match from Survivor Series.
Eric is in the BischOffice and Maria enters and she wants to know if Eric is OK. Eric says that he has been better. Maria wants to ask Eric if he thinks he will get fired tonight. Maria repeats her question. Eric thinks for a second and then he asks Maria who told her to come in and ask him the question. Maria says that Shane McMahon asked him. Eric says that he is going to send Maria out to have a match with Kurt Angle. Maria says that she is an interviewer, not a wrestler. Eric tells Maria that tonight, she is a wrestler. Eric says that his goal is to never hear Maria ask a question again, especially a stupid one. We go to commercial.
On Unlimited, Maria is freaking out over the thought of having a match. Maria sees Eric in the hall and he tells her to get to the ring. He asks Maria if she got lost. Maria says that she does not have any boots or anything for the match. Maria walks to the ring.
We are back on USA and Maria is talking to Lillian Garcia. Out next is Kurt’s official referee Khosrow ‘Tommy Young Version 2’ Daivari. Daivari yells at Maria and Chad Patton tells Daivari to stop. Chad and Khosrow have some words and Daivari tells Chad to leave. Chad tells Daivari to leave. Daivari yells at Patton and Chad punches Angle. Daivari leaves the ring, but then he comes back in and knocks Patton down and kicks him. Daivari chokes Patton and spits on him before putting Patton in the camel clutch. Daivari throws Patton out of the ring. Angle comes to the ring and he gets on the mic. He tells Maria not to be afraid. It is Eric Bischoff’s idea and it is a stupid one. He is a gentleman and he does not wrestle women. Kurt tells Maria to give him a hug and it will all be over. Maria hugs Angle and then he hits an Angle slam. Angle gets ready for the ankle lock, but John Cena comes out and he punches Angle followed by a flying shoulder tackle and a clothesline that sends Angle over the top rope to the floor. From out of nowhere, Chris Masters comes out and he puts Cena in the Master Lock while Angle punches and kicks Cena. Angle kicks Cena in the lower extremities. Eric Bischoff comes out and he says that he needs to save a little bit for later. Eric says that Vince wants him to have a goal. That goal is to see John Cena tap out and lose the WWE Title. Tonight, John Cena will defend the WWE Title against Kurt Angle and Chris Masters in a no disqualification, no count outs, triple threat submission match. Angle gives Cena an Angle slam as we go to commercial.
On Unlimited, John Cena goes to the back. Then we see footage of Edge announcing the debut of ‘The Cutting Edge’ and then we see his interaction with Dmitri ‘Mark Henry’ Young.
We are back with a Moments Ago Moment of Kurt Angle giving Maria an Angle slam and the save by John Cena only to be attacked by Chris Masters and the Angle slam to Cena.
Joey talks about the submission match and wonders if Cena has ever used a submission before.
We see footage from Trish Stratus’s successful defense against Melina at Survivor Series.
Mickie and Torrie start things off and Torrie backs Mickie into the ropes. Torrie slaps Mickie and then sends Mickie to the apron. Mickie sends Torrie into the turnbuckle and then hits a flying cross body on Torrie for a two count. Ashley tags in and goes to the second turnbuckle with a double sledge to Torrie. Torrie with a clothesline to Ashley followed by kicks to Ashley. Candice is tagged in and they make a wish with Ashley. Candice tries for the choke, but she takes too long and Ashley escapes the hold. Ashley knocks Torrie and Victoria off the apron. Victoria tags in and kicks Ashley followed by a snap suplex and float over for a two count. Ashley punches Victoria and tries to make the tag, but Victoria stops Ashley and puts her in a reverse chin lock. Ashley with elbows, but Victoria with a forearm to Ashley’s back followed by a slam. Victoria goes to the apron and tries for the slingshot leg drop, but Mickie is tagged in and she clotheslines and punches Victoria. Mickie with a flying forearm to Victoria followed by a series of kicks. Candice tries to make the save, but she elbows Victoria by accident. Mickie sends Candice out of the ring. Victoria with a clothesline. Mickie with a head scissors take down on Victoria followed by Stratusfaction. Trish takes Torrie down while Mickie gets the three count on Victoria.
Winner: Mickie James, Trish Stratus, and Ashley Massaro
After the match, Mickie gets the belt and celebrates like Trish usually does. Trish takes the belt back from Mickie and they hug in the ring. We go to commercial.
We are on Unlimited and Todd Grisham says that he wants to go out and ask the crowd who they want to see as the general manager. Chris Masters comes over and asks Vince if he saw Chris put Cena in the Master Lock. Vince suggests that he would not be surprised to see the Masterpiece as the champion. Chris says that he has one thing to ask Vince before the match.
We are back on USA and Eric is in the BischOffice and he is on the phone. There is a knock on the door and Shane enters. He asks Eric if he will accomplish his goal tonight. Shane says that Eric has been talking about John Cena a lot. It took a big man to put Maria in that match. Eric says that it was a good thing that Shane brought up ‘power’ because of what Shane said about not liking him. Eric says that Shane is nothing more than a card carrying member of the ‘Lucky Sperm Club’. Shane grabs Eric by the neck and pushes him against the wall. He tells Eric not to disrespect him or his family name. Shane tells Eric that time is running out.
Kurt Angle is in the back getting a neck rub from Khosrow Daivari. He says that a submission match is his forte, especially with his referee calling things right down the middle. Daivari says that he will call for the bell before Cena can do anything about it. Chris Masters comes in and says that is a nice idea, but it would screw him too. Chris Masters says that he went to Vince McMahon and Daivari has the night off. Chris Masters says that they will have a fair and impartial referee for his first title match. Masters says that he will win the title tonight. We go to commercial.
We are on Unlimited and Todd Grisham is out to find out who the fans would like to see as the new Raw General Manager. Todd suggests Shane McMahon, Paul Heyman, Stephanie McMahon, Dusty Rhodes, or LeBron James. Before LeBron, a photo of the Boogeyman is shown on the TitanTron. Then a photo of Eric Bischoff is shown.
We are back with footage of the European tour.
It is time for our next match, Shelton Benjamin versus Trevor Murdoch
Shelton punches Murdoch as the bell rings and then Murdoch goes outside the ring. Benjamin goes up top and hits a flying clothesline on Murdoch. Benjamin tries for the Stinger Splash, but Murdoch moves and he crotches Benjamin. Murdoch kicks Benjamin and covers him. Murdoch punches Benjamin and then slams him. Murdoch goes up to the second turnbuckle, but Benjamin gets his boot up. Benjamin with clotheslines to Murdoch followed by a back body drop. Benjamin punches Murdoch and hits a dragon whip on Murdoch for a two count. Benjamin goes up top and misses a flying clothesline. Murdoch with a Flatliner for a two count. Murdoch with an Irish whip and Benjamin with a kick. Benjamin tries for a sunset flip from the turnbuckle, but he misses Murdoch. Benjamin punches Murdoch and hits and Irish whip followed by the Stinger Splash. Murdoch sends Benjamin into the turnbuckle and Murdoch rolls up Benjamin with a handful of tights for the three count.
Winner: Trevor Murdoch
Triple H is walking in the back and we go to commercial.
We are on Unlimited and Todd Grisham has a few questions for Trevor Murdoch. Todd wants to know what is next for him. Trevor says that he has gold once already and he will have gold again. He is going to go after the Intercontinental title. He hopes that Ric Flair is listening because he will do anything to win that gold.
We are back and Triple H walks to the ring and he provides us with the most electrifying move in sports entertainment before entering the ring, the GameFountain. Hunter has a mic and he says that it has been brought to his attention that some people do not think he is a compassionate man. Hunter says that he is a humanitarian. When Ric Flair left Joe Louis Arena, he made sure that Flair was taken to the finest hospital in Detroit in his own private suite with a plasma screen TV with the USA Network so Flair won’t miss one single moment of Raw. That is the kind of guy that Hunter is. He knows that Ric is sitting in his hospital bed watching this right now. He has one thing to say and that is ‘stay down’. Hunter says that Flair cannot be the Nature Boy again and come back. Flair needs to come to terms that The Nature Boy is gone. He couldn’t have written a better exit. He got to go out on top in two consecutive pay per views with the greatest wrestler alive. Flair knows that there is no shame in losing to the best. When they let him out of the hospital, he tells Flair to go home and live out the rest of his life because he is not wanted any more. Hunter asks the fans if they disagree with him and have a problem with what he did. Hunter says that they know that he is right and none of them have the guts to do anything about that. Hunter says that is what separates him from everyone else. They will sit on their asses and talk about it, but Hunter does it in the ring. You can run him down, but the fact is that there is not a man alive that will look him in the eye and tell him to his face. WWWWWWWWWWWell, Hunter is interrupted by the Big Show who comes to the ring. Show says that he has known Triple H for a long time and has let a lot of things he has done slide. But after what he did to Ric Flair, he is telling him to his face that Hunter is a piece of s***. He says that Hunter thinks that he is a tough guy. He does not need a sledge hammer to put people out of their miseries; he can do it with his own hands. Show told Hunter that his time is coming, and his time is now. The question is whether Hunter has the guts to fight Show now. Hunter backs away from Big Show and then Show slaps Hunter’s mic from his hand. Hunter leaves the ring while Show dares Hunter to do it. We go to commercial.
We are back on Unlimited and it is time for Kane to come to the ring to join his tag team partner in the ring. Out next are their opponents Gene Snitsky and Tyson Tomko.
It is time for our next match, Big Show and Kane versus Gene Snitsky and Tyson Tomko for the World Tag Titles
The match has begun and Kane punches Tomko followed by a big boot. Kane with a two count and Snitsky makes the save. Show with a head butt to Snitsky. Tomko Irish whips Kane into a big boot from Snitsky and Tomko with a cover. Tomko tags in and he chokes Kane and then kicks him. Kane grabs Snitsky and slams him into the mat. Show tags in and he clotheslines Snitsky and Tomko. Show with a head butt to Tomko followed by a side slam to Snitsky and a power slam to Tomko. Kane with a clothesline from the top turnbuckle to Snitsky and then he clotheslines Tomko over the top rope to the floor. Show Irish whips Kane into Tomko and then Show with a choke slam for the three count.
Winners: Big Show and Kane
On Unlimited, Kurt ‘Bleeping’ Angle comes out to a chorus of censored chants. Kurt gets on the mic and he says that they can chant ‘You Suck’ all you want, but Kurt says that he has the right to censor the fans. They will not be able to hear the chants of ‘You Suck’ at home. The fans will not be chanting ‘You Suck’ when he wins the WWE Title.
We are back and Joey Styles reminds us of the live special on UPN. We see an Earlier Tonight moment of Kurt Angle giving Maria an Angle slam followed by John Cena making the save and the eventually involvement of Chris Masters in the festivities.
It is time for our main event, Kurt ‘Bleeping’ Angle versus Chris Masters (with his amazing Technicolor ring robe and Golden Shower version 4.0) versus John Cena for the WWE Title in a ‘No Count Out, No Disqualifications, Submissions’ Match
Cena goes after Angle and then he takes down Masters. Angle punches Cena and Masters kicks Cena in the back. Angle chokes Cena with Cena’s sweatshirt and Masters kicks Cena as well. Angle with a European uppercut and Masters with an elbow drop. Angle and Masters alternate elbow drops. Masters and Angle with a double suplex to Cena. Angle kicks Masters and punches him before tossing Masters over the top rope to the floor. Angle and Cena exchange punches in the ring before Cena gets the advantage. Cena with a clothesline to Angle followed by an elbow to Masters on the apron. Cena gets Angle up for the F-U, but Angle escapes the hold and Angle puts Cena in the ankle lock. Masters comes from behind and puts Angle in the Master Lock. Angle tries to power out of the Master Lock, but Angle is going out. Angle gets a second wind, but it is not enough and Angle falls to the mat. Cena comes from behind and hits Masters. Cena punches Masters, but Masters kicks Cena in the leg. Masters with a suplex to Cena and he sets up for the Master Lock on Cena. Masters locks in the Master Lock on Cena. Cena tries to escape the hold and Cena falls to the mat. Angle comes into the ring and he hits Masters. Angle punches Masters in the corner. Masters Irish whips Angle into the corner and tries for the Master Lock, but Angle is able to counter and puts Masters in the ankle lock. Cena goes up top and he hits a double sledge on Angle. Cena with a shoulder tackle followed by clotheslines and the Blue Thunder Driver followed by the set up for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Masters with a clothesline to Cena. Masters kicks Cena in the back. The straps go down and Angle goes for a chair. Masters holds Cena and Angle charges into a boot from Cena. Cena with a chair shot to Masters’s leg. Cena with another chair shot to Masters’s leg. Cena with an STF on Masters and Masters taps out.
Winner: John Cena
Vince and Shane are in the BischOffice and they say that next week it will be time to take out the trash.
Kurt Angle is in the ring and he is yelling at John Cena on the Rawest Ramp in professional wrestling and holds the belt over his head. We go to credits on USA.