We are one week removed from the most ‘brother’ filled Raw in history, we will see what happens when the man who uses ‘brother’ like a teenager uses ‘like’ meets the man who used 69 of them in his segment mocking Hogan. What will happen between Chris Jericho and John Cena? What will Kurt Angle do in his hometown, and will he be able to get his gold medal back from Eugene? Is Maria going to ask ‘The Edge’ how he spent his birthday (happy birthday to the U2 guitarist)? How many brothers will we see this week?
We begin with a video package recapping the efforts by Eric Bischoff and Chris Jericho to get the WWE title off John Cena and how they failed. But we still saw Eric and Chris standing over Cena after the camera shot after the match.
We are live from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and your announcers are Jim ‘Mean Joe Greene was a hoss’ Ross, Jonathan ‘If this is the Igloo, where are the Penguins’ Coachman, and Jerry ‘King of Three Rivers’ Lawler.
We begin with the Eugene Invitational and Eugene comes to the ring with Christy Hemme. Eugene wears a Hulkamania shirt and reminds the crowd that Hulk Hogan is here. Eugene says that Hogan is his friend and hero. Hogan is saying his prayers and eating his vitamins. Christy reminds Eugene that we are here for the second Eugene Invitational. Before Christy can get the crowd to spell Eugene’s name, Kurt Angle’s music plays and he comes to the ring. Kurt tells Eugene that he is in Angle’s hometown, and he is the hometown hero. Angle tells Eugene to stop looking at him like that. They don’t look at Hogan as a hero because they already have one. Eugene says that he is an Olympic gold medalist, and Angle says that he isn’t. Angle says that Eugene is not. They go back and forth before Eugene tells him to shut up and calls him an idiot. Angle says that he wrestled for 20 years and won it with a broken freaking neck while Eugene thinks it is a toy. Angle says that he will show the blue collar idiots what a hero is. Angle kicks Eugene and he connects with a European uppercut. Angle rips Eugene’s shirt before resuming the attack. Angle with punches and kicks before the referee gets him to stop. Angle with a backbreaker. Eugene with head butts and then Eugene backs Angle into the corner. Eugene chops the ref on the break and Eugene tells the ref that it was Angle. Angle charges at Eugene, but Eugene with a drop toe hold and then he rides Angle. Angle with a clothesline and punches followed by a belly-to-back suplex. Angle sends Eugene’s head into the turnbuckle and he powers up. Eugene with punches, but Angle with a German suplex and the straps are down. Angle tries for an Angle slam, but Eugene sends him into the ref, knocking him down. The ref disqualifies Angle so he keeps the medal. After the match, Angle attacks Eugene from behind and then he gives Eugene an Angle slam. Hogan’s music plays and he comes out. Angle kicks Hogan when he enters the ring, but Hogan with the Finger Point of Doom followed by punches. Angle leaves the ring on an Irish whip. Hogan rips his shirt and then it is time to pose for the crowd and he has Eugene do it. We go to commercial.
We are back with the WWE Rewind: Shelton Benjamin losing to Chris Masters and Gene Snitsky two weeks ago.
It is time for our next match and out comes Shelton Benjamin. His opponent is Chris Masters. Masters throws Benjamin into the corner, but Benjamin with punches to Masters. Masters responds with punches of his own followed by a side head lock. Benjamin with a side head lock followed by a dragon screw leg whip. Masters with a power slam followed by elbow drops and boots. Masters slams Benjamin and then kicks him in the back. Masters with a bear hug and Benjamin with elbows to escape. Masters with a side slam, and it is time to get ready for the Master Lock, but Benjamin with a rollup. Masters with a sleeper, but Benjamin with a jaw breaker. Benjamin with a kick to Masters followed by punches. Benjamin with a running forearm followed by a drop kick to the knee and a running knee to Masters’s head. Benjamin with the Stinger Splash followed by a clothesline from the top rope, but Masters gets his foot on the rope. Masters almost has the full nelson locked in, but Benjamin escapes and gets Masters in a sleeper. Masters with a low kick to Benjamin and Masters locks in the MasterLock. The ref checks Shelton’s arm and calls for the bell.
We go to the back where Todd Grisham is standing outside the BischOffice. Kurt Angle emerges and he is happy. Todd is confused why Angle is so happy. Angle says that the Eugene Invitational is a sham. At SummerSlam, they will have a match and there will be no time limit. Angle says that he will make Eugene suffer and he can even break his ankle. Angle says that he will get his medal back and will end Eugene’s career, just for kicks. We go to commercial.
We are back with footage from when Shawn Michaels super kicked Hulk Hogan.
Maria is in the interview area with Rob Conway to ask him about his match with the 500 pound love machine Viscera. Rob says that everyone wants to be like him. He is 98% fat free. Rob says that he is still filling. He will show the world how he gets things done. He does it the Con-Way. Viscera enters the interview area and he has something to eat with him. Viscera says that someone looks good, and it is not just Maria. He wonders why Conway is wearing the leather boots, the see through panties, and the Mu Fanchu moustache. Viscera wonders if Rob is trying to be a member of the Village People. Viscera starts to sing Y-M-C-A. Rob tries to punch Viscera, but Viscera blocks the punch and he tells Rob that he will like it when he is face down for the ‘Visagra’.
We see footage from last week’s Raw when Matt Hardy was introduced by Vince McMahon.
Edge and Lita are in the locker room and it is time to recap the appearances of Matt Hardy over the last few weeks before Vince ‘brought him back’ to the WWE. Edge likes the idea because it is a money making match. Edge went to Vince because what he is going to do to Matt Hardy on the street what he is going to do at SummerSlam, he would get him put in jail. It will be legalized assault. Edge does not want to be sequestered in the locker room. Matt should be the one caged up, not him. Edge says that he does not need protection because Matt will need it. Edge wants Matt to come into the dressing room because Matt will probably come in and have a nice cry. Edge says that Matt’s promo was pathetic because after everything he did over the last few months that was all he could muster up from his guts last week. Edge says that the passion and intensity that he is showing is why Lita left Matt. Edge says that he wants Matt to be safe until SummerSlam because he wants Matt at 100 percent. Edge wonders why Matt never proposed during the six years they were together. Nothing comes before Matt Hardy and his wrestling legacy. Edge says that Matt should thank him because he never got a reaction like this before. It is because Matt is riding Edge’s coat tails. While Matt was dealing with the Cruisers and his MFers, Edge was fighting Kurt Angle, Eddie Guerrero, Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, and Triple H. Edge earned his stripes. Matt is here because his girlfriend fell in love with a main eventer. The spotlight is shining on Matt, but you are at minute thirteen of his fifteen. At SummerSlam, Edge will end that spotlight. The truth hurts. Edge and Lita kiss.
Viscera is walking in the back as we go to commercial.
We are back and we find out that Eric Bischoff will be the guest on the Highlight Reel.
It is time for our next match and out first is Rob ‘Buff Two’ Conway. His opponent is Viscera. Viscera backs Conway into the corner, but Conway is too quick and he connects with forearms. Viscera turns things around and chops Conway. Viscera comes off the ropes and gets a spinning Bossman slam. Conway moves when Viscera tries for a splash in the corner. Conway kicks Viscera in the knee and then Viscera works on the leg with elbows. Conway kicks Viscera in the leg, but Conway comes off the ropes and Viscera with a Samoan Drop. Viscera mounts Conway, but Conway with elbows to escape. Conway goes up top, but he is met by a Viscera forearm. Viscera gets Conway up for a belly-to-back suplex, but Viscera’s knee causes him to fall and Conway gets the three count. We go to commercial.
We are back with the Body Slam of the Week: Footage from Heat when Victoria attacked Stacy Keibler.
It is time for a six person tag match. Out first are the tag team champions, Rosey and Hurricane, along with Stacy Keibler. Their opponents are The Heart Throbs and Victoria. Stacy knocks Victoria down before the bell. Antonio and Hurricane start things off and Antonio punches Hurricane. Hurricane blocks a hip toss and gets a fireman’s carry and clothesline. Romeo with a clothesline from the apron. Romeo tags in and they hit a double side Russian leg sweep on Hurricane followed by an elbow drop. Romeo with a rear chin lock with his knee in Hurricane’s back. Antonio tags in and Hurricane holds on to the ropes on a double drop kick attempt. Rosey tags in and connects with shoulder tackles and slams. Antonio tries for a sunset flip, but Rosey will not go over so he drops down. Stacy distracts Romeo and Antonio so Hurricane and Rosey throws them over the top rope to the floor. Victoria pulls Stacy off the apron and runs her into the ringside barrier. Rosey knocks Victoria off the apron. Romeo and Antonio with a double STO on Rosey for the three count.
Chris Jericho is walking in the back as he gets ready for the Highlight Reel. We go to commercial.
We are back with footage from Hogan’s Larry King appearance.
It is time for the Highlight Reel as Chris Jericho is in the ring. Chris says that the greatest performer in Raw history, himself, has the greatest general manager in sports as his guest tonight. Chris is honored to call him a friend. His guest is Eric Bischoff. Eric comes into the ring and he hugs Jericho. Chris says it is a pleasure to have Eric on the show and he wants to shake Eric’s hand one more time. Eric says that he hopes everyone enjoys the premiere of John Cena’s video because after SummerSlam, when Chris Jericho becomes the champion, the only thing Cena will have is his ‘music’ career. Eric says that Cena is a lucky man because he is not medically cleared to appear. The beating this week would be worse than last week. Jericho says that he has made a music video to illustrate what happens when you mess with Jericho or Bischoff. Eric and Jericho both love it. Eric says that Jericho is the reason why Fozzy is a success. Eric says that not everything happened the right way last week. It turns out that John Cena is still the champion. Eric wants the man responsible for Cena keeping the title to come to the ring. He brings Chad Patton come to the ring. Eric wants to know who the referee was last week. Chad says that it was Chris Jericho. Eric wants to know why Chad did what he did. Time for some footage from last week. Bischoff slaps Patton three times. Jericho laughs at all of this. Eric says that he wants an apology from Chad. Bischoff says that he does not want Patton to be sorry, he wants him to be punished. Chad Patton will face Chris Jericho in a match tonight. Eric and Chris slap him in the head. Eric says that Chad has a few minutes to get ready. We go to commercial.
We are back and the match begins as Chris Jericho will face Chad Patton with Eric Bischoff officiating the match. Jericho pushes Patton down. Patton runs Jericho into the corner, but Jericho kicks Patton and then punches him. Jericho punches Patton while trying to take off Patton’s shirt. Jericho kicks Patton in the ribs before removing his shirt and choking him with the shirt. From out of nowhere, Carlito comes to the ring. Jericho chokes Patton on the bottom rope. Jericho with a boot to Patton’s neck. Jericho chops Patton in the ropes. Jericho throws Patton over the top rope to the floor and Carlito comes over and kicks Patton and punches him. Carlito rolls Patton back into the ring. Jericho with a spinebuster and then he puts Patton in the Walls of Jericho. Patton taps, but Bischoff will not ask for the bell at first. Bischoff calls for the bell, but Jericho won’t release the hold and Bischoff slaps Patton. From out of nowhere, Cena comes out and he attacks Carlito and Jericho. Cena with a flying shoulder block followed by a clothesline and back body drop. Cena gets Carlito up for a Death Row Valley Driver. We go to commercial.
We are back and Chris Jericho and Eric Bischoff are yelling when they are stopped by Todd Grisham. Eric says that if John Cena does not want to listen to his doctors, he will face Carlito and Chris Jericho in a handicap match. Jericho loves the idea.
It is time to return to the ring and Coach is in there. It is time for Diva Search II: Saline Away. We are down to our Final Four. We will soon get to the six pack of Divas as they approach the ring. It is the last challenge to impress the fans because next week a new Diva Search champion will be named. Kristal is cut from the competition. We get to see 60 seconds why the Divas should get their votes. However, they will have to deal with adversity. Ashley gives out her phone number. Ashley is attacked by a running pie. She is not happy. Leyla says that she is naked behind her name. She gets pied as well and it shows that she is not naked. Elisabeth gets pied as well. Remember to check out Buck’s excellent analysis of the Diva Search contest that looks at things in a manner that makes the Electoral College process seem simple.
It is time for another Hogan/Michaels moment when ‘Hulk Hogan’ appeared on ‘Larry King Live’, brother. We go to commercial, brother.
We are back and it is time for Matt Hardy to come to the ring. His opponent is Gene Snitsky. Matt punches Gene followed by a discus punch. Hardy with knees to Snitsky followed by a running boot to Gene’s head. Snitsky with a spinebuster. Snitsky with boots to Hardy and then he throws Matt into the corner. Snitsky with boots and punches to Hardy. Matt with a kick, but Snitsky with a punch. Snitsky with an Irish whip and a running clothesline. Snitsky with a delayed vertical suplex. Snitsky chokes Matt in the ropes, but Matt punches Gene. Snitsky with a boot to Matt. Snitsky slams Hardy, but he misses an elbow drop. Hardy punches Snitsky, but Snitsky with a knee. Snitsky with an Irish whip, but he misses a charge in the corner. Matt with a running forearm to Snitsky followed by punches. Snitsky with a side slam for a two count. Snitsky tries for a pump handle slam, but Hardy gets out of it. Matt cannot hit a Twist of Fate, but Snitsky misses a charge into the corner. Matt hits a super Twist of Fate. After the match, Edge attacks Hardy. From out of nowhere, security and officials comes out to pull Edge off Matt. We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time to take a look back at Edge attacking Matt Hardy after his match with Gene Snitsky.
Matt is being helped through the back. Matt sees Edge and he goes after him in the locker room. Matt and Edge are separated. Matt says that Edge is dead.
It is time to take a look at John Cena’s latest music video.
Shawn Michaels is walking in the back, brother, as we go to commercial, brother.
We are back and Jerry Lawler is in the ring with two lecterns as we prepare for the ‘face to face’ showdown.
Before we have Michaels and Hogan come out, brother, we find out that Hogan will face Kurt Angle in Montreal.
Lawler brings out the ‘Hey Brother Kid’ Shawn Michaels first. Out next is Hulk Hogan, brother. Hogan gets in Shawn’s face instead of standing behind his lectern. Lawler says that they will make history at SummerSlam, the legend versus the icon. Michaels interrupts Lawler and says that on behalf of himself and the fans in Pittsburgh, he thanks Hogan for taking time out of his busy schedule from his television show to actually show up in person and gracing everyone with his presence. Lawler wants to know about Hogan’s comment about Michaels not reaching the upper tier? Shawn says that he was not upset or jealous of Hulk Hogan. He wants to make one thing crystal clear to Hogan and everyone else. There is nothing about Hogan or his life that he desires. In the ring, Hogan cannot touch him. Shawn suggests that maybe he was upset that one of his peers did not respect him or his accomplishments. Hogan is not his peer. He built his career on personality and show. At SummerSlam, all of the personality and show in the world will not amount to a hill of beans when he faces the Showstopper. Lawler asks Hogan about the ‘Brother filled parody’ of Larry King. Shawn interrupts and says it means for the first time that Hulk Hogan will have to deal with the truth. It will be the first time that he will deal with someone who does not sweat him. Not out in the ring, not in the back, not anywhere. Shawn will be the first person not to buckle under the image of Hulk Hogan and Hulkamania. Shawn wonders if they will fire him for his comments. They have fired him before, but they keep bringing him back. The WWE does not exist without the Showstopper. Lawler would like Hogan to answer the question. Shawn says that there is no question. He wants Hogan to look at him. Shawn says that he is not tickling the ivories with Hogan. Shawn says that he is the most real thing on television today. He will kick Hogan’s teeth down his throat. Shawn does not care if he has to leave the arena and go to Hogan’s hotel room and get his teeth. Hogan interrupts Michaels and says that Michaels has taken it to a new level. Shawn should have just asked. Hogan suggest if they are going to talk about casting stones, maybe Hogan should just call up Bret Hart. Shawn tells the fans not to forget it and that Hogan is next. Hogan says that he will lay it out plain and simple. Every time Shawn comes to the ring, it is for him. Hogan brings up how Shawn lost his smile. Hogan is here for the fan’s smiles. For better or worse, he is here for all of the Hulkamaniacs, their brothers and dudes. Hogan tries to give them everything they want when he steps out here. If they want Hogan to kick Michaels’s skinny ass, he will do it. Hogan has a question for Michaels and wants to know what he is going to do. Shawn Michaels gives Lawler a super kick. Hogan with a finger point of doom, but Michaels with a kick and punches. Hogan with another finger point of doom followed by punches. Hogan with a big boot and then he throws Michaels over the top rope to the floor. Hogan wants Michaels to come back into the ring as we go to credits.
Full Credit: PWInsider.com