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Scage – Welcome Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls to the reappearance of Scage. May I remind you, the TM readers of his last appearance, criminally screwed out of a SummerSlam predictions victory when Jared/Mitch changed one of his predictions. Will we see any of those shenanigans today? I certainly hope not! We are having a little problems with the time zones, but without further ado the Hein Sight team brings you, Survivor Series predictions.
Jared – That’s Camp Hein Sight, bucko! And you don’t have to worry too much about being swerved today, because one half of Swerve is M.I.A. and let’s face it… Mitch is the evil mastermind of the team.
Scage – Yeah, with Mitch somewhere in the land of nod, the power has been somewhat reduced today. So what match is up first?
Jared – Oh geez, don’t put me on the spot! I’m trying to do these predictions without spoiling this weeks programming for myself, so I barely know the card. But… I might just take a random pick and say we start with… Los Guerreros vs The Bashams. That has to be a match, right?
Scage – Ah, you have that problem too? I haven’t seen Raw or Smackdown yet either. Anyway at the moment its not, the site says we have Noble and Tajiri, HHH Goldberg, Lita Molly, Shane Kane, Undertaker Vince, Austin’s Team Bischoff’s Team and Team Lesnar Team Angle.
I would expect another match to be added, and yes unless Guerreros vs The Bashams was on Smackdown then that’s a likelihood.
Jared – Well looking at that card you know what has to be the lowest priority of WWE’s, so why don’t we start there? No, it’s not the Cruiserweight match (that has a decent feud behind it) but the Women’s title.
Scage – Well to me it looks to be a forgone conclusion. Understandably the WWE like to reward people who have returned from big injuries with a title after they have come back. Its happened quite a few times in the past and I see no reason why that shouldn’t be the case on Sunday.
Jared – And the quality of the match, Scage? *Looks to readers for laughs*
Scage – Well you know, it’s a women’s match. It’s not going to be stunning, I was going to say its not going to be pretty, but that’s a discredit to Lita.
Jared – Not to mention Molly! I’ve always liked Molly’s look, because she’s a normal girl in a world of Barbie dolls. Anyway, you may be selling the action short, because every now and then WWE finds a combination of women that CAN put together a tight show. I think Lita and Molly are capable of that, although admittedly odds are still not in their favor.
Scage – Yes, but tight is one thing, good and enjoyable is another. I see what you’re saying, every now and then one is actually watchable but that’s every now and then. So for a winner Tremble?
Jared – Well Molly has had so little of the spotlight lately that she’s getting rickets… Lita has to come out on top as the new champ.
Scage – Yes, I’m going with Lita too.
Jared – Will Christian and/or Matt Hardy have any involvement in the match? It could be what elevates it to a Survivor Series level match.
Scage – Possibly Matt Hardy, its an easy way to align him with Lita and have him switch brands, that’s for sure. Christian I’m not so sure of, but it could go anyway, it could be that there is no involvement from either of them. It could be its just Matt, or just Christian. Or it could be that Christian comes out and that’s what brings Matt out.
Jared – The latter is what I’m thinking. Christian comes out to help Lita, because he’s up to something. Matt Hardy makes his return to get rid of him. This either leads to a Lita win and lets Lita have the title whilst Matt and Christian plant the seeds for a feud, or their feuding costs Lita her shot. That’s the only way I see Lita losing, but I think it’s more likely that Christian simply helps her win.
Scage – Well the best and most interesting thing is Christian coming out, Matt tries to get rid of him setting up a feud for the new Raw member Matt Hardy. So that will probably not happen!
Jared – Well Scagey baby, your turn to pick a match.
Scage – Right well, if we are working up in terms of importance it’s got to be the Cruiserweight match now?
Jared – A fine choice sir, that comes with a lightly spanked side of fish. As I mentioned earlier, for once a Cruiserweight match has been given a real storyline behind it. Not that I prefer this over a feud about talent, respect and gold, but usually WWE wont even give us that. Noble and Tajiri have extremely contrasting styles and they have worked together before. It really seems like a can’t-miss.
Scage – Yeah definitely. I don’t think it’s a show stealer but it won’t be anywhere near bad. I am glad for the storyline because to me the Cruiserweight division could be so much better, but they don’t seem to want it to be better.
Jared – I’ve always thought a big part of making a cruiserweight division huge is by not restricting them to one match per show. WCW would often have 2 or more cruiserweight matches on a card, simply because they had the talent to do it and they trusted the talent to go out there and work some magic. WWE on the other hand limits the talent they keep under the Cruiserweight umbrella, tones down their styles and limits them to title matches. (Ok, rant over)
Scage – Is that the end of the rant? You do have a point though and it is a shame they don’t let them go as much as they can go. But back to the match, what part do you see Tajiri’s friends playing in it. And what are their names?
Jared – Oh, I knew this one… But they both escape me and I’d hate to be wrong. Is one Kaz Hayushi?
Scage – Sakata and Akio?
Jared – Well the Smackdown spoilers proved me wrong… Anyway, they are just the Japanese Mafia who refuse to be called the Yakuza. And they have to play some part in the match. As far as I see it, they will prevent Noble from taking the title so soon and allow the feud to be extended. Assuming that’s what WWE wants.
Scage – Yeah, I don’t think Noble will win, it’s too soon. It’s better for the two Yakuza or whatever to stick around while he has the gold. Tajiri retains and the feud carries on.
Jared – Well I must try and find a match we wont agree on… We may as well throw in one of the Survivor Series matches now, split them up. How about Team Angle vs Team Lesnar?
Scage – It’s as good as any, and I am glad for this and the Team Austin and Bischoff match on the card. These days a name for an event has no link to the occurrences and Survivor Series hasn’t always had a proper Survivor Series style match on the card, or at least ones of such importance. Also, the Survivor theme very much fits the ambulance match stipulation and the buried alive stipulation. So I am going to applaud the WWE for that. As for the match, it is going to be interesting, but I can’t help but point out that one team has a new wrestler and also an inexperienced one and the other has someone who is coming back after a very long absence.
Jared – I hadn’t even thought of the point you made there about the Ambulance and Buried Alive stipulations… nice pick up. Also nice booking, IF it was deliberate. Every November I beg that WWE uses the traditional Survivor Series format. It uses more talent, intertwines feuds, creates interesting partnerships and provides fresh, energetic action as the workload is spread over 10 men.
Granted, I’d still like these matches to dominate the card, but I’m ecstatic that they are back on their at all this year.
As you mentioned, in this match there is a newcomer, Matt Morgan, and a green Nathan Jones, however I don’t think this will hinder the match too much. This is the perfect way for one to be introduced and another to be introduced, assuming they are being brought into the spotlight too soon (which is trendy with WWE) and they really add to the presence of Team Lesnar.
Scage – Well yes, there’s every possibility they are being brought into the spotlight too early. I don’t think it will hinder the match, I just thought it was a point worth making. The stipulation ensures they won’t have to carry the match, but there’s rumor that Angle has had a reoccurrence of his neck injury. If this is case then it does perhaps put a slight downer on things because he will need to play a big role without being in the ring for extended periods, if the rumor is true. Also I would have thought the responsibility would have fallen to Angle and Lesnar to do large parts of the match as not the veterans, but the big boys in the match. Although I would argue that Cena and Benoit are definitely capable of not making this an issue.
Jared – I think Lesnar, Bradshaw, Cena, Holly, Benoit, Big Show and even A-Train will do absolutely fine in this environment and the match could go quite well. Angle’s injury is a worry, but at least he only has a tenth of the workload on that weakened neck. Holly should have a lot of fire coming back and we can only wait and see how effectively he can use that.
Who’s going to win Scage?
Scage – Yes I think they will do absolutely fine, but when you break it down in terms of Holly is coming back after a while out, Morgan is green, Nathan Jones is green, Angles got an injury worry, Bradshaw’s not wrestled much in a match of this stature, and it is quite easy to see it could bomb. But, then the stipulation allows for all of this as there not all carrying the match themselves.
As for a winner? You want me to go first do you Jared?
Jared – Well I am willing to go first! I think Team Angle far outweighs Team Lesnar for those who deserve to win a main event on PPV. Benoit and/or Cena are likely to be the Survivors, but however it goes, Team Angle has to win. They have been pushed as having no chance, which gives them all the chance in the world.
Scage – Yeah I am inclined to agree with you. But it could go the other way. A win for Team Lesnar is good for Morgan and Jones. However, I think the talent is stronger on Team Angle and I think somehow out of the ending of the match they will be looking to set up Lesnar’s next opponent, which could be Holly, but its difficult for him to challenge the title so early, so Il go for Benoit there. I think we see Team Angle pick up the win in order to set up that next Lesnar feud.
* The arena goes dark and all that can be heard is a loud thud and the sound of a body slumping to the ground*
* The lights come back on and Scage is sitting alone in the familiar set*
Scage – Right, now that Jared has been elimin… er , I mean he left rather suddenly, and Mitch strangely didn’t turn up I am the sole Survivor!
So the way this is going to work is that I will round up the remaining matches, and then wrap this thing up!
Kane Vs Shane McMahon: Ambulance Match
This match has a pretty ominous stipulation; the loser gets carted off in an ambulance. This, I think creates a couple of issues with the match. The match has to have a suitable amount of devastation to live up to the stipulation and to live up to what they have done to each other over the past few months. It literally has to be one of the most brutal matches at least in recent history. The problem with this is that the loser would then have to have pretty severe injuries that would result in a longer stay in a hospital than their recent visit. If Shane was to be in that position we would have to see him gone for a while, thus having had Kane beat him twice and leaving Shane in the position of never actually getting revenge for his mother. Shane is the easier one to get rid of for a long period of time, because once the Kane feud is over, what else have they got planned for him? But as I said, this means he never got adequate revenge.
So if Kane loses, it’s a given they can’t really have him out for a long period of time. Kane’s been made to look unstoppable, so it is easier for him to be beaten up, leave in the ambulance and then be ok again a couple of weeks later. But if Shane is to beat Kane, that puts an end to Kane’s run, doesn’t make him look good because someone who isn’t even a wrestler beats him and the feud is ended, but again that leaves us with issue of what they want to do with Shane. So I think it’s actually a very hard match to call, I think there is a down point with whoever wins. Logic tells me that because Kane won last month that Shane will win this month and that is a logical conclusion to the feud. However, I think Kane has to win to keep the monster image going.
The Undertaker Vs Vince McMahon: Buried Alive
Interesting to see that two brothers are wrestling against a father and son. I wonder if there could be any potential interference from one in the others match? I am really hoping for a Vince McMahon victory that leads to an Undertaker absence for a few months. When he returns, instead of being the joke that is the American Bad Ass, he is the Dead Man and this sets up the final months of his career. The opportunity is almost too good to be true and almost so good I can see it not happening at all.
I can’t really see any relative point in The Undertaker burying Vince, sure he gets revenge for last month, but apart from that not much can be gained. If Vince buries the Taker, we can see Vince boasting that he buried the Phenom at his own game only to be proven wrong on The Undertakers return. It allows for some progression in Vince’s character and eventually as described in the previous paragraph, a definite improvement in the character of The Undertaker. Obviously Vince won’t win without help, but the way I see it is that anything other than a Vince victory leading to the return of a triumphant old-school Undertaker is a definite dropped ball.
Is that the time? I must be getting a move on, right so the remaining matches? HHH Vs Goldberg, hmmm tricky one, difficult to see HHH jobbing again, but the odds are stacked against Goldberg. I’ll go for Goldberg as Evolution has had too many laughs over him this month. What else, oh yes Team Austin Vs Team Bischoff, Austin’s team did get the better of Bischoff’s on Raw, but if Austin’s team wins both Bischoff and Austin will still be GM’s so that’s what’s got to happen.
So with that, that’s this column finish…
* A blood splattered Jared Balstrup appears behind the unsuspecting Scage wielding a rather blunt instrument and lets just say, it ain’t pretty folks. *
Jared – No one’s going to ruin a predictions column with my name on it! What’s this rushed business? Since Scage has already given you the run down on the Taker and Kane matches (respectively), I’ll just give you my tips for those.
Kane cannot lose to Shane McMahon, that simply. It would be a travesty. That said, it’s also very likely to happen. Face it, Shane is the face and he’s taken a lot of abuse and lost the first big match up the two had. How can the feud really have any resolve unless somehow Kane gets beat? I hate to flip flop, but I’m going to go with my heart and my logic and say that Kane will destroy Shane once and for all. Perhaps the limousine incident was as close as Shane will get to revenge. I’m begging WWE not to book Shane for the win!
The buried alive match is much different, because we all want Taker to come back as the dead man. If Vince doesn’t realise this, he truly is the richest moron alive. Vince has to get some help, whether it be Stephanie’s heel return (which will happen) or other interference from any number of monsters. Remember the casket match against Yokozuna? It took somewhere around 8 or 9 BIG men to destroy the Undertaker. They all came out and did it just because of a shared hatred of the Deadman. That angle is so nice they should use it twice, quite frankly. McMahon must go over Taker.
World title: Goldberg vs Triple H
I expect another boring contest from these two and hopefully this time management will agree and decide that this is NOT a desirable pairing. Perhaps they will surprise me, perhaps Macho Man will top the charts with his next hit ‘Homies in Heaven’. The match will be given longer than it should, but less than usual because there’s more important matches on the card. Being the only World title match, I’m sure Hunter thinks it’s the most important, but I doubt WWE would be ignorant enough to put this match on top of the card. As for the winner, it comes down to the fact that Triple would not only lose twice in a row to Goldberg, but given Goldberg’s broken ankle, I can’t see the Game lying down for this one. Then again, I can’t see Goldberg’s title reign being so short. One has got to budge… title reign it is. Triple H will beat Goldberg by hook or by crook and take back “his” World title.
*Mitch runs in, covered in dirt*
Mitch – Jared! You wouldn’t believe what happened to me! I was coming in for today’s show and then some guys attacked me from behind with a shovel! I didn’t get a good look at either of them, but I think there were two of them! They knocked me out and when I woke up I was in a grave, covered in dirt! I ran his as fast as I could, what match are we up to?
Jared – Goodnight everyone! Enjoy Survivor Series!
Mitch – What happened to Scage???
Thanks for reading.
What a Swerve!
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