Greetings Ericoholics and welcome to the 10th edition of RAW is Erico (not counting the ones written about Smackdown/other subjects)! My 10th edition came on the same week as one doozy of a RAW…and, oh yeah, my name is Eric Barnes, and I’ll be your host for the duration.
Before we get started I would like to send out my condolences to the friends and family of Michael Lockwood. Crash was a great addition to the hardcore division of the then WWF, and made his present felt week in and week out. He will be missed.
And now, on with the show…
RAW is Erico is coming at you LIVE from Boston. The crowd was pretty jacked tonight, which always make the show a bit more entertaining. Lita came out to start things off, but I can’t remember the time a women’s promo was cut to open RAW, so it was no surprise when Evolution came out. To bad Flair wasn’t there, he’s sort of the backbone of Evolution. I mean *sniff*…you could always count on Slick Ric. When there was no Batista, there was still Flair, when there’s no Triple H there was still Ric Flair.
Pretty funny degrading Lita there in the middle of the ring. She’d get more of it later from Bischoff, but staying in the present…well it’s past now but you know what I mean. Anyway Trips puts over Batista and how he hurt Goldberg. This could’ve been done last week if he wasn’t to busy continuously having sex with Stephanie! But I guess that’s purely speculation at this point.
Apparently Triple H wrote a book on kicking ass. This must’ve been back before he became a wrestler, because otherwise it would be heavily advertised during all WWE programming. Like Lita’s book. And Stone Cold’s book. And that new book that I guess is all pictures or something.
Ahem…anyway Triple H goes on about how he is going to beat Goldberg this Sunday…until Stone Cold’s music hit and the Rattlesnake made his way to the ring. Stone Cold tries to kick Evolution out of the ring like they did with Lita, but of course Triple H has to badmouth. It’s in his nature. Actually the entirety of Evolution badmouth Stone Cold, so he boots Trips out of the building (since he doesn’t plan on wrestling). Triple H says he is going to leave, but only because he wants to. Yeah right bitch.
Stone Cold goes to the back and is confronted by team mid-card. Then THEY start badmouthing him. They’d better hope Stone Cold doesn’t win on Sunday because he’s liable to kick all their asses! Right dudes?…dudes? Anyway Team Austin comes up and badmouths right back to the Bisch’s team. Little did we viewers know they would all be facing eachother tonight in 4 separate matches, SUCKAAAAAAA!
Christian and Rob Van Dam went at it with another Intercontinental Championship match this week. They had five guys RVD could’ve beaten, and they went with the one he’s faced the most lately? Well, I can’t complain to much because the two put on a decent match. At least I think they did, for some reason I was having a bad case of the zone outs during this match. So RVD wins the match and retains the title.
Shane-O-Mac is at Caloons, and he wants a table…a table for TWO!
Coach comes out, and I cringe a little bit. Now don’t get me wrong I like Coach…I like him at the announce booth. But to tell you the truth what they did with him tonight was pretty entertaining, him getting to put over the bad guys, and put down the good guys, which he could do in much more length at the announcers desk. Oh well, I guess there’s always Sunday night Heat.
Speaking of which, the fued that started Sunday on Heat has made it’s way to RAW. That being the Superheroes/La Resistance fued. I’m not liking that Rob Conway now has the same type of trunks as Rene Dupree. Him having his own look, but still carrying around the flag made it a tad bit more interesting to me, but oh well. This match was definitely nothing to write home about, and La Resistance won, visibly angering some servicemen in the crowd. DOWN WITH FRANCE!
Well, it appears Terri is very upset because…she…wow, you can see some nice cleavage…uh, I mean she has to be in a tag match tonight and….Lita…looks pretty nice as well, I just wish they would kiss…dammit, sorry. Anyway Terri has to be in a match with Lita against Molly Holly and Gail Kim. There.
As I said earlier Lita would be degraded once again because Bischoff came up to her and pretty much said “once Austin is fired you must be my sex slave or be fired!” We’ll see what Mattitude V1 has to say about that jackass!
Team Bischoff is in the back with Jericho trying to pump everyone up and tell them why they need to hate Austin. Forget about the people they’re actually fighting, Austin is their main target. Randy “Cocky Cracker” Orton comes in, and pretty much says he’s all it’s going to take to beat Team Austin. Jericho and the others don’t look to pleased after he leaves. Dissention?
Val Venis and his hoes…or what ever they are walk in on Lance Storm taking a shower. I guess there’s going to be some sort of orgy. Why can’t they air THAT? Well Lance Storm’s push has gone down the tubes, and later that night he pushed through some pubes. Innappropriate?
Shane isn’t ready to order yet. He’ll wait for his “guest” to arrive.
Terri and Lita take on Molly Holly and Gail Kim. The bad girls win, and Terri’s dress comes up. Ohhh yeah.
Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels put on a pretty good match. I’m a fan of both of these men, so I was pumped to see this match. I’m glad Randy Orton cleared up the fact that “he’s the legend killer because he kills legends.” This has been a question that has plagued me for ages. Orton tried to cheat with a steel chair, but he ended up having his back broken on it, followed by Sweet Chin Music to give Michaels the win. How frickin’ pumped was the crowd before HBK hit that Sweet Chin Music?
Shane apparently got tired of waiting for Kane and ordered something anyway. Kane shows up just as this segment begins. COINCIDENCE?! Kane sits down for dinner but doesn’t eat a thing. I bet Shane would’ve picked up the tab too. Shane goes on a rant about what he’s going to do to Kane at the Survivor Series, and Kane retaliates with saying he’s sick in the head or something to that effect. After a few more minutes of this Shane gets up and tells Kane that he’s going to put him out of his misery. I enjoyed this segment a hell of a lot more than the segment last week, and it got me a little bit pumped for this match up, something I haven’t been since I heard it announced. Maybe because Shane said it would be their last?
Scott Steiner and Mark Henry took on the Dudley BoyZ. Now, the Dudleys lost last week, and it wouldn’t look to good to lose twice in a row when you’re the tag team champions. So Steiner and Henry get disqualified, but get the better of the Dudleys nevertheless. we got a small glimpse of Cade and Jindrak during this match. I guess the build up for Survivor Series leaves people like Cade, Jindrak, and Lance Storm out in the cold this week. Oh well, they’ll get their shot at the tag titles soon I suppose. And, oh yeah…who’s Lance Cade?
Even though his team technically lost, Bischoff goes to the back to be all smug and junk around Austin. Bischoff discusses irony, and I think Austin is confused so he just stays silent. Eric says thanks to Austin, and tells him that he really enjoyed it. What exactly has he really enjoyed about Austin? Getting his ass handed to him when Austin came back? Repeatedly having Austin get the better of him as Co-GM? WhatEV!
Jericho berates some chick backstage for taking to long to get him some water. Trish sees it, but all is forgiven. Jericho asks her out for after the show, and Trish accepts. Those crazy Canucks!
We go over the matches at Survivor Series, even the SmackDown matches care of Tazz and Michael Cole. Yay.
Booker T is backstage reading the newest WWE book, which isn’t Triple H’s book about asskicking. John Stupidface comes in and says he’s going to give a copy to little Johnny. If we don’t find out what the hell Little Johnny is for sure next week, I’m going to blow up WWE headquarters. Ok I won’t, but it felt good to say. Booker gets an upsetting note that reads “I Still Remember.” Guess it’s Goldust!
Booker T took on Chris Jericho in a decent match which Booker T won. Wow…all of Austin’s team won tonight. That doesn’t bode well for them at Survivor Series. Afterwards all of Team Bischoff comes out, and person by person the rest of Team Austin comes out. Coach gets his comeuppance when he recieves a 3D from the Dudleys. HBK puts his hat over his face. AWWW SNAP!
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages…it’s time for the Main Event! Batista came out first, followed by Goldberg. Wow I am getting sick of those old-school Goldberg entrances. They aren’t cool to me. Anyway, Batista goes after Goldberg’s shattered ankle immediately. Batista has the upper hand for most of the match, but when Goldberg is finally getting some momentum Triple H comes out of nowhere and hits him with a chop block. Triple H then went to get a steel chair and his sledgehammer. He gets to use neither of them because Goldberg kicks him in the groin…whoa there Goldberg, his groin was just injured not to long ago, and might be again after the honeymoon!
In the end Triple H runs away like heels tend to do, and Goldberg holds his title above his head as JR has an anuerysm.
Who knows? It’s a post-pay per view show, anything can and WON’T happen!
Well, thanks everybody for reading the 10th official edition of RAW is Erico. It’s my pleasure to present them to you week in and week out. If you have an opinion, letter, or anything you want people to see, just hit me up at firstname.lastname@example.org, and I guarantee you’ll see it here! Also, check out this site later in the week for my Survivor Series Predictions! Until then, this has been RAW is Erico, and I’ll see you on the FLIP SIDE!