A video package opens up iMPACT Wrestling showing Hulk Hogan’s actions since being in charge, including reversing the decision of last week’s main event.
Eric Bischoff opens up the show inside the iMPACT Wrestling Zone and states that Hogan and Garett think they have him cornered, but what they don’t understand is that the name Eric Bischoff will live on long after we’re all dead and gone. He’s going to be a legacy in the business, and refers to last week when Hogan questioned his ability to lead. He put together a badass team for Lockdown, and introduces them now: Bully Ray, Gunner, Kazarian, and Christopher Daniels. Bully Ray says he is proud to stand next to Bischoff and go to war for him, but as great of a man as Bischoff is, he made one mistake and Bully Ray is man enough to tell it to Bischoff’s face. Eric looks nervous, and Bully Ray reveals the mistake was his bastard son Garett Bischoff, which Eazy E is now laughing about. Eric says he knows Bully is going to take care of that at Lockdown and reminds us of the stakes this weekend. We’ve got a best of three series tonight to determind who will have the advantage at Lethal Lockdown, and that Gunner will lead the charge and take on anyone Garett throws at him.
Garett Bischoff comes out and says Eric and his team are obviously ready to go, but he’s got his team all lined up and ready to come out and get their hands on Eric’s team. In fact, one of them is ready to go right here and right now, so let’s kick this off right off the bat. Ken Anderson’s music hits, and he comes down the ramp to start the first match…after this commercial break! ((Jarrett’s Jab – I really wish that Garett had revealed all his members and Eric played the guessing game. At least the members of team Garett could do all the talking. Garett sucked the life out of the segment…like he always does.))
Best of Three Series for Lock Down Advantage #1: Gunner vs. Mister Anderson
Gunner jumps Anderson before he gets takes his shirt off. Anderson is able to get a little offense in, but Gunner rakes to the eyes and easily gains the advatage. Anderson tries to roll outside, but Gunner continues the assault and tries to slam Anderson on the floor, but Gunner gets rammed into the ringpost instead. Anderson unloads with right hands and rams Gunner into the barricade, then rolls him back inside and takes him out with a back elbow. Gunner escapes a Finlay Roll and rolls Anderson up with a handful of tights, but Anderson is out at two and takes Gunner out with a clothesline and a chain of elbowdrops. Anderson looks pissed off as he stomps right on Gunner’s bladder, but Gunner rakes eyes again and takes Anderson out with a clothesline, then chokes him right in front of the referee. Gunner smashes Anderson face first into the top turnbuckle and then raking his boot laces across his eyes. Gunner with another rollup with the tights, but Anderson again kicks out at two. Anderson sends Gunner shoulder first into the post and then stomps a mudhole in him in the corner before choking him out with his boot until the referee calls for the disqualification.
Winner by Disqualification: Gunner (EB – 1, GB – 0)
Anderson continues stomping Gunner’s chest in before walking off.
Eric Young is backstage admiring himself in the mirror when Joseph Park walks in to tell EY how snazzy he looks and asks if he’s thought about a prenup. He asks EY if he’s heard anything about his brother Chris because he’s been here for the better part of a decade, and to think about where he last saw him. EY says last time he saw him, he was mixed up with that Immortal group, so Joseph hands him his card, thanks him, and wishes good luck before leaving. Eric asks out loud why is everyone saying that.
Inside the ring are the number one contdners to the Tag Team Championships at Lock Down: The Motor City Machine Guns. Chris Sabin says that injury after injury has plagued the Guns, but no more, then hands the microphone to Alex Shelley, who says that the Motor City Machine Guns have been teaming for over six years, while Samoa Joe and Magnus have been teaming for six months. Shelley says Morgan and Crimson rub baby oil on each other, while the MCMGs beat Beer Money, they retired Team 3D, and this Sunday, they’re not wrestling Curry Man and Shark Boy, they’re wrestling one of the greatest teams ever, and they’re going to be the new TNA World Tag Team Champions. Samoa Joe and Brutus Magnus come out to the ring to put the Machine Guns over as one of the most impressive teams of all time, and Magnus says Sabin has his respect for coming back from injury, but it’s not about who the best team ever is, it’s about who is the best team right now. At Lockdown, the two best teams on the planet go at it to see who is the best of the best and who deserves to be the champions. Magnus says they look ready, and he and Joe are always ready, so if they don’t want to wait, they can go right now. Wait a minute, Mexican America’s music hits and they come out to crash the party. Anarquia says they were champions for six months and if they want to be left out of the picture, they have one thing to say. The Two Mexican Radicals hit the ring, but Hernandez gets decimated by Magnus and Joe, while Anarquia gets beaten down by the Machine Guns. The Machine Guns and Joe & Magnus stare one another down, and we’re at commercial. ((Jarrett’s Jab – Mexican America is still around? I thought they broke up a few weeks ago with that guy from Repo games? At least the revolutionaries got their asses kicked here because the Machine Guns and the Tag Champs need all eyes on them for their match at Lock Down to mean something.))
Best of Three Series for Lock Down Advantage #2: Christopher Daniels vs. X Division Champion Austin Aries
Daniels goes to the arm off the tie-up, Aries goes to the ropes, cartwheels past Daniels, and boxes the ears. Daniels takes Aries to the corner by the hair and shoulderblocks his abdomen, Aries shoots Daniels to the ropes and this time Daniels cartwheels past Aries and jabs him in the face. Aries cinches a side headlock, Daniels headscissors his way out, but he eats the kickout dropkick. Aries goes to the top rope, but Daniels shakes the ropes, crotching Aries, and then a short jab sends Aries tumbling to the ring apron. Daniels fires Aries hard into the corner and snaps Aries over with a vertical suplex for a two count. Daniels decides to cinch in a Cobra Clutch and snaps Aries backward over his knee, Aries knees Daniels in the head until he breaks the hold, but Daniels tosses Aries out to the floor. Daniels goes for an Arabian moonsault to the floor, Aries dodges and Daniels sees him move and lands on his feet, but Aries quickly pops into the ring and hits the heat seeking missile to the floor. They go back inside where Aries wipes Daniels out with a roaring elbow and teases the pendulum elbow, but instead goes for a handspring elbowdrop that gets another two count. Aries connects with a sunset flip out of the corner, Daniels gets out and tries rolling Aries up with the tights, but the referee catches him and Aries reverses to a rollup of his own, but also has the tights and the referee won’t count that either. Daniels nails a uranage and goes for the BME, but Aries moves and hits a missile dropkick, followed by the IED in the corner and then the brainbuster for the win.
Winner: Austin Aries (EB – 1, GB – 1)
((Jarrett’s Jab – Now THAT was a good match! If you didn’t watch iMPACT, youtube this match, you won’t be sorry. Austin Aries is the Greatest Man Alive and just had the Greatest Match on iMPACT Wrestling))
We’re back and the steel cage is being built for the wedding, but first, Jeff Hardy comes out to the ring to tell us that the thing with Angle started when Angle cost him the World Title, and it’s going to end in the steel cage. They’ll make history this Sunday, they’re going to hurt each other, and it’s inevitable. Hardy puts the microphone down and heads to the back. ((Jarrett’s Jab – Anyone knows that promos aren’t Jeff’s strong suit. While this was no masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination, it was short, sweet and to the point))
We look back at last week before we are shown James Storm and award winning Country Music Duo Montgomery Gentry says he’s sick of Bobby Roode’s bulls**t, and then the Montgomery Gentry say that after Storm kicks his ass at Lockdown, he hopes they leave the cage open so they can get some too. ((Jarrett’s Jab – It’s always nice to see bands on wrestling that I actually know compared to some of the “mainstream” bands that randomly show up on other programs. While some may find it stupid to see Montgomery Gentry back, let alone cut a promo, Roode did spit water in Troy Gentry’s face last week, and the two appearing at lockdown in Music City is pretty smart by TNA.))
EY is backstage getting himself psyched up for his wedding when Sarita and Rosita walk in dressed in lingerie to try and scare EY by telling him that they don’t think he and ODB are a good fit, and once he has that ring on, he’s stuck with her. They flash their boobs at him and asks Eric if he thinks he’s going to be missing anything, but EY freaks out and runs off.
There is a preacher behind a camouflage podium looking on as Eric Young comes out to the cage dressed in a shiny powder blue jacket. The Knockouts Tag Team Title belts are proudly on display as the bride music hits…then turns off. EY looks confused, but then ODB’s musichits and she comes out in a camouflage dress. She chains the cage door shut behind her. The preacher says how symbolic the cage is for marriage because of the strength it takes to live in marriage together. We see a music video looking back at the love Young and ODB have shared and how we got to where we are today, and then we hear they’re vows which they’ve prepared for each other. Eric says he promises to stay with ODB, even when she farts, and let her rub his feet anytime she wants…because he knows she’s into that. He vows to be his tag partner in wrestling and in life, now and for the rest of their lives together. ODB promises not to take his last name, but will take his ring music, and to slap his ass whenever necessary…because she knows he’s into that. She promises to give him a buffet of BAM anytime he wants, then the preacher asks if anyone has a reason they should not be married, and Sarita and Rosita come out to object. They tried to show Eric what a real woman looks like backstage, but he ran. They’ll give Eric one last chance to choose whether he wants to stay with that beast, or be with the greatest Knockouts Tag Team Champions of all time. Rosita strips her robe off and she’s got lingerie outfit on underneath as Sarita says that could be all his. Now Sarita takes her robe off and she’s wearing a matching outfit and shakes her ass as ODB starts crying. ODB says she gets it, she doesn’t have what those girls have, but those girls don’t have what she has. ODB tears off the dress to reveal her own underwear with her big BAMs and asks Eric what it’s going to be. Crowd chants for ODB, and EY walks over and holds her hands and says that she’s perfect for him and he’s been dreaming about this since she was a boy. He wanted to make this wedding perfect, and now they’ve found a way to make it perfect. Eric strips down to his own camouflaged underwear, then ODB tells the preacher to strip down as well so everyone matches. The preacher shrugs and decides to go with the flow, then asks Eric if he takes ODB to be his lawfully wedded wife. The crowd does the Daniel Bryan chant and EY says absolutely. Same question for ODB, same Daniel Bryan chant, and ODB says BAM, then the preacher pronounces them man and wife and ODB climbs on top of Eric as we get our happy ending. ((Jarrett’s Jab – This wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be…it was WORSE! They should pay the “preist” for keeping a straight face throughout all the stripping. I could write better television than this in my sleep. Great for Eric Young fans, but for anyone else, I sure hope you have a fast forward button.))
Backstage, Ric Flair gives Bully Ray a pep talk in preparation of his tiebreaker match with the third member of Garett’s team.
Bobby Roode is backstage with his security team and says that James Storm wants to see him face to face, and that’s fine because this is personal.
Bully Ray vs. AJ Styles
Both teams are at ringside for this matchup. Bully takes AJ to the corner and tries a cheapshot, but AJ moves out of the way. Bully takes AJ to the corner again, and AJ dodges another shot and this time returns fire. AJ gets a side headlock on Bully, but gets dropped hard to the mat with a back suplex. Bully unloads with right hands and elbows, but comes off the ropes right into the dropkick from AJ, who charges Bully and gets backdropped out to the ring apron. Bully boots AJ to the floor and Team Eric tries to go after him, but Team Garett shows up to stop them. Bully slingshots AJ into the ring and locks in a tight bearhug, AJ breaks free but takes a high backbody drop. Bully misses a big splash and AJ starts firing back, comes off the ropes with a leaping clothesline, another one in the corner, but Bully blocks a tornado DDT and gets a Samoan drop for two. Bully goes to the second rope, but AJ quickly gets to his feet and nails Bully, then hits a Frankensteiner out of the corner and covers for another two count. azarian grabs AJ’s ankle from the floor, and both teams wind up brawling on the floor as AJ hits a Pelé kick on Bully and covers for two. AJ goes out to the floor to join the fray as Eric Bischoff tosses Bully his chain, and AJ gets nailed in the face with it as he comes off the top rope and gets covers him for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: Bully Ray; Team Eric Bischoff gets the Man Advantage at Lethal Lock Down
Team Eric celebrates, but Hulk Hogan’s music hits and he congratulates Eric on his win, then says he’s changing Lethal Lockdown to a five on five, and gives Eric three minutes to decide who his fifth man is.
We’re back and Hogan says Bischoff’s time is up, and Eric begs Ric Flair to join the team because he knows Hogan is going to make himself be the fifth man, then changes his mind because he wants to stand over Garett’s broken body at the end, so he names himself the fifth man. Hogan says Eric is so predictable, but Hogan says that he’s taking his GM position seriously and won’t be in the match. However, he informed Garett of the change to five man teams a few days ago, and he and Garett introduce their new fifth man: Rob Van Dam, making his return to TNA after months off TV. ((Jarrett’s Jab – How can you make a former WWE Champion, ECW Champion, former TNA Champion’s return mean nothing? Do this. This whole match and segment, despite the wrestling ability of both AJ Styles and Bully Ray was overshadowed by everything under the sun, buy the time RVD was brought out, no one could care less. Lethal Lockdown this year means nothing. I miss the good old days when they would take TNA’s top face and heel, and give them a team and it would mean something. At least Hogan isn’t wrestling.))
We go to a video package of James Storm, voiced over by Bobby Roode talking about how Storm winning the title before him was a joke because he carried Storm to all those tag titles and made him who he is. He’s accomplished a lot since Roode kicked him to the curb six months ago, and there’s nothing Roode won’t do to keep the title, and he won’t hold back because he’s going to prove that he’s the World Champion for a reason. We then go to James Storm, who says it took ten years to build a company, four years to build a friendship, and one bottle to ruin it all. But in three days, the bulls**t stops. Seriously, this may be the best build to any match in TNA history.
Velvet didn’t do her ridicilious entrance routine, and that upsets Taz. Mickie and Madison start off the match, Madison yanks Mickie to the mat by the hair, but Mickie catches her with a dropkick. Madison gets pissed and boots Mickie’s head, then tags out to Gail Kim, who gets flapjacked in the middle of the ring. Velvet tags in and Gail immediately tags out to Madison. Velvet kicks the crap out of Madison and snapmares her so Mickie can nail a basement dropkick. Gail hits Mickie from behind, then tags in and unloads on Mickie with kicks and a hard clothesline. Mickie and Gail double team Mickie, but Mickie dodges a charge and Gail crashes into the second turnbuckle, landing ribs first, and Mickie makes the tag. Velvet Sky comes in and unloads on Gail, then snaps off a flying headscissors and a running bulldog for two. Velvet hits a snap DDT and then goes back after Gail, Velvet blocks Eat Da Feet and hits the ‘In Yo’ Face!’ (Sitdown Pedigree), then pins the Knockouts Champion to win the match.
Winners: Velvet Sky & Mickie James
((Jarrett’s Jab – Decent match to be from Velvet Sky, but how much can Gail carry her Sunday without an editing team to fix her mistakes. Hopefully we won’t see a title switch Sunday, but I’m fearful there might be.))
It’s time for the final face to face confrontation between James Storm and Bobby Roode before Lockdown this Sunday. Storm says that for the last few weeks, they’ve done a lot of talking. He asks if he remembers the time they were on a fifteen hour plane ride to Japan and laughed because they never thought they’d be the World Champion. They’re four time TNA World Tag Team Champions, the longest reigning tag champions in the history of TNA, travelled all over the world, entertained millions of people, kicked a lot of butt, and drank a lot of beer. Crowd starts a “beer” chant, and Roode says he’s not going to pretend that Beer Money never existed. Beer Money was one of the greatest teams in the history of the business, and being part of it was one of the proudest moments in his career in life, but there’s another proud moment that they probably both remember, which was last year when they put their tag team aspirations aside and entered the Bound For Glory Series for a shot at the World Title. They both wound up in the final four and made it to the semifinals, but only Roode made it to the finals, and he went on to win the whole thing. That sent him to Bound For Glory where he challenged for the World Title while Storm sat in the back twiddling his thumbs and drinking his beer. Storm says he remembers doing something: he was sitting their drinking beer and watching the monitor when Roode got beat. Storm asks if he remembers the next week when he beat the guy who beat Roode, in record time no less. Roode says he vaguely remembers it because Storm’s reign was so short that two weeks later, Roode not only beat him for the title, but became the It Factor of professional wrestling and the leader of the selfish generation. Storm says he’s glad he brought that up because it was the night Roode hit him in the head with a beer bottle and destroyed the legacy of Beer Money and their friendship. Roode tells Storm to cut the bulls**t because they were never friends. They hated each other when they met, and the only reason they were so successful was because of their individual passions for the business. All the stuff about hanging out drinking beer is crap because they hated each other, and from day one, Storm has been jealous of him. Storm asks what he has to be jealous of, because where he comes from, family and friends mean something and you don’t sell them out for money like Roode did. Storm does this for the love of the sport, and he does it for all the fans, and his superkick leg is getting tired from the trip down memory lane, so no more history class because in three days, they step into the cage to kick the crap out of each other in Storm’s hometown of Nashville, in front of his friends and family. Roode says he doesn’t give a crap about Nashville, his hillbilly wife, or his redneck kids. Storm takes his jacket off and so does Roode, and Storm says Roode won’t need luck, he’ll need a damn miracle to walk out of that cage, and Roode says he’s heard Storm’s line a million times and he’s sick of it. He tells Storm to look at him, dammit, and in three days, Storm will be lucky to walk out of that cage, and says that Storm has no luck with his two dead brothers and his dead father. Storm and Roode go nose to nose, and we go off the air. ((Jarrett’s Jab – Damn, now THAT is how you close a go-home show to a pay-per-view. As always Roode and Storm was on fire, and luckily TNA didn’t feel the need to inject Hulk Hogan into the main event spot again. If you hadn’t watched this show, I highly suggest the Christoper Daniels/Austin Aries match, and this segment. I know I’ll have to youtube it tomorrow to remind myself that this show didn’t totally suck. That’s a night for me, be sure to check out all the latest TNA news here at TNAStars and TNA Lock Down is live this Sunday in Nashville, Tennessee on Pay-Per-View or at a Movie Theater near you.))