BY JERRY AND GRANDPA DUDLEY
As I wrote last week, Grandma, Grandpa and I were going to the wedding of third cousin Elmer Lee Moe Dudley and Elvira Lee Merleen Dudley, a distant cousin from North Dudleyville. We all had a great time at the wedding. We got home a while ago and just watched this week’s WEW show. If you recall, the start of this weeks first match was shown last week, with the old “To Be Continued Next Week.” It was Jazz’s first title defense since winning the WEW Heavyweight Championship at ‘the last PPV’ (God only knows when that took place). Her opponent was Simply Luscious (SL), known for how much the fans despised her and vice versa, and for being the only female graduate of The Shawn Michaels Wrestling Academy.
To bring those who missed it up-to-date, here’s what happened last week. (Tonite’s show began just as if nothing happened last week). Simply Luscious (SL) came out to her usual greeting from the drunks and gave them a few hand gestures to thank them. Eric said the match was for the WEW Heavyweight Championship. Out came the Champion, Jazz. Eric said she was the new Champion, having won the Title at the last PPV (probably held in ancient Egypt) in a Four Way Match. Now I know we have seen Jazz as Champion in the past few months, so there can no longer be any doubt that the shows are ‘slightly’ out-of-order. We left for our weekly video, commercials, and this month’s PPV (it’s still Locker Room Lust) and
Back to the action and Eric informed us that this was SL’s 2nd chance at the Title, and was Jazz’s first defense. Eric reminded us that SL was the only female to ever graduate from The Shawn Michaels Wrestling School. Jazz came out with her usual scowl and walked around the ring glaring up at SL. Eric said ‘Jazz was a Champion we can all be proud of.’ I am so proud, that I plan on calling WEW right after the show and buying a couple of hundred dollars worth of WEW junk. Screw food, the mortgage, car payments, etc. SL started fast with a series of kicks and punches, following up by choking Jazz over the middle rope. When the ref told SL to break, she pounded Jazz on the back. Jazz came back took SL down, where she proceeded to punch her about the face and neck. Eric said Jazz may have broken SL’s nose. Wow! An announcer and a medical expert. Take that Joey Styles! SL rolled out to the floor for a breather. Jazz shook the top rope and stomped. If she was trying to get the crowd into it, buying a round of beers would have worked a lot better. SL got back in the ring stalled. SL called for a test of strength. They locked hands and tried to over power each other. Being very astute, Eric said Jazz better watch out, SL might kick her in the gut. Right on cue, SL did exactly that and followed up with a Clothesline.
SL pounded Jazz on her back and then choked her over the middle rope. She then threw Jazz to the floor and went for a pin. Jazz rolled over, only to have SL pick her up by the hair and nail her with a Side Slam, followed by another attempt at a pin. SL released Jazz and stomped on her back. Eric showed he is much more than a wrestling announcer as he gave us a prophetic view of the world, “This is like nuclear war — no winners, only survivors.” Gee, I didn’t realize how that world and wrestling had that in common. SL whipped Jazz into the far corner and leaped at her. Jazz caught SL in the air and threw her over the top rope. SL landed on the apron and smashed Jazz in the face. Not to worry, it can only be an improvement — if you remember Jazz from her WWE days, you know she wasn’t winning too many beauty contests. To make sure she did the most for Jazz in the face department, she slammed it into the mat, and went for another pin. SL then hit Jazz with a series of Knife Edge Chops against a corner. She whipped Jazz across the ring into the far corner and charged in at her Bad move, as Jazz caught her with an Elbow in the face — again, no biggie, SL is no beauty queen either. Jazz missed a Clothesline, and got caught in a Sleeper. SL powered Jazz down, but Jazz ‘Hulked Up’ and rose to her feet. She delivered a series of Elbow’s to SL’s mid-section to break the Sleeper. SL retaliated by slamming Jazz to the mat, and stepped on her stomach, trying for a cheap and embarrassing pin. Eric said “There’s no place in wresting for stuff like that,” and proceeded to give us a history lesson about women’s wrestling from the 1890’s to WEW today. Wow! Imagine that, a wrestling announcer, social expert and history teacher. The man’s talent knows no boundaries. After all that knowledge, we needed a break. Good timing as we went to commercial.
We got back and saw SL pick-up Jazz by the hair, throw her into the ropes and go for a Clothesline that missed. Jazz came back with several punches and SL went down. Eric went into his usual over-the-top style with “Oh oh, she’s (Jazz) going into the Shuffle.” SL got up and took a Clothesline and Back Elbow. SL kicked out of an attempted pin. Jazz picked SL up for a Face Buster, but SL blocked it with a Jaw Breaker, sending Jazz reeling and holding her jaw. SL hit two Roundhouse Kicks to the side of Jazz’s head, and then went for a straight kick to the head with her other leg (a poor woman’s Sweet Music?). Jazz grabbed her leg and twisted SL to the mat and applied her version of the STF. SL tapped out after a few seconds, giving Jazz the victory. She retained the Title, which has Eric bouncing off the wall with, “Jazz is still Champ, Jazz is still Champ. Hopefully it’s the first of many defenses and she’ll be Champ a long time.”
We went to another video. This one by Heather Hunter, who I think is one of WEW’s own.
Next up were promos cut by Cristaal and Dawn Mae, a 250 pound farm girl, in preparation for our 2nd match. A commercial followed.
The second match was in the ring when we got back, with Cristaal (C) vs. Dawn Mae (DM). It will
be a David vs. Goliath encounter. The first minute was wasted as DM traded insults with the fans. They went into a Collar & Elbow tie up. C applied a Side Headlock, then an Arm Wringer. DM reversed with the same two maneuvers. Eric expresed shock that they were using actual wrestling holds. DM picked C up and hit her with a major Body Slam. She then picked C up, hit her with a series of punches and and whipped her into a turn buckle. C tried for a Hurricanrana
as she hit the corner, but fell to the mat. Eric called it ‘a rookie mistake.’ I called it a blown move. DM pounded C on the chest and then picked her up, spun her around and nailed a Side Slam.
DM then applied a Pendulum and walked around with C in the hold. She went to the corner and kept swinging C’s head into the bottom turn buckle. Eric said “Talk about humiliation.” This bothered DM so much that she marched to an adjacent turn buckle and repeated the move. She then dropped C face first on the mat and bounced on her back. She picked C up and whipped her into the ropes. C came off and hit DM with a side press and actually knocked her off her feet. Eric got all excited and screamed, ‘She nailed it, she nailed it.’ All C seemed to do was infuriate DM, as DM quickly threw C off and kicked her in the sternum. She followed with a Hangman’s Neck Breaker, as The Fat Lady sang, “It’s all over now.’ DM pinned C for the win and the show ended.
Until next time …
BY JERRY AND GRANDPA DUDLEY