I wish I was a creative person, but I’m not. I’m going crazy trying to think of how to do this column. I’ll tell you why I’m going crazy. Watching Raw last night was like watching Raw when it had ATTITUDE. Wrestling played a very small part of the show, and usually that’s a negative, but the show had so much to offer that it didn’t matter to me that there were only a few matches. Raw had humor and Raw had plenty of drama it was just off the charts.
I guess what I would like to do is list the things that really stuck out for me and maybe write what I liked about it. It’s not going to be in order. It’s very rare when Raw or Smackdown is so good that I make a list of everything that appealed to me. So here I go.
First of all when the whole Take Out The Garbage opened up the show, I was concerned that this was going to be one big DUD. But the firing was not even close to a dud. Every segment with Judge Vince McMahon was excellent. I never would have believed that a storyline like this could dominate a show and dominate it so well.
Mick Foley – Mick did a nice job as one of the guys that wanted Eric Bischoff fired. Foley is a natural when it comes to being funny and last night he did a hell of a job. Watching him take in the Boogeyman and eating a moon pie was one funny segment.
Coach – Coach showed why he should not be part of the announce team. He came through as Bischoff’s “attorney.” Coach is an excellent heel and needs to be out there like he was last night. They should make him a manager, with his mouth he could probably get anyone over. Play by play is not for Coach.
Joey Styles and Lawler – It was so refreshing listening to two voices not three. I am extremely happy that Joey Styles signed a five year contract with WWE. With JR out hiring Styles was one smart move.
Tajiri – I enjoyed listening to Tajiri via his translator bashing Eric Bischoff. This man was so riled up that he had a wish. Tajiri’s wish was that a pregnant rhinoceros would shove its mighty horns up Eric’s anal crevice. And Tajiri ended by calling Eric Bischoff an idiot and that he hoped he would get fired. Tajiri paid big time for all of this. Coach set up a HHH/Tajiri match. Which by the way was short but good. Tajiri got a lot of offense on Hunter, and each time these two have a match it’s always worth watching.
Chris Masters – Chris Masters played the shirtless bailiff. Masters was called to testify in Eric’s behalf but Vince tossed him out when he said that Masters perjured himself because Vince knows his real name is Chris Mordeski. What I liked about this was Masters came off like a big dumb jock. He played his part very well.
Mae Young – This woman always has me laughing uncontrollably. And believe me last night was no exception. When they came back from break you hear Mae Young saying “And that’s why Eric Bischoff has no penis.” Then Coach got in there by saying there is little if no evidence that Bischoff doesn’t have a penis. Okay so this was rather silly yet it had me laughing. Then Mick Foley replayed the video of Mae all over Bischoff a couple of years ago at Bad Blood I was dying. That was it for me I remember that pay per view very well, I laughed hard then and I laughed hard last night. Mae was in rare form last night.
Boogeyman – This guy just popped up from the witness box and said Bischoff doesn’t belong there. He did a rhyme and knocked the clock against his head. I can tell that this character is becoming a favorite with many of my readers and I believe with Vince McMahon as well.
Vince – He stole last night’s show. He had some good comments like when he wasn’t paying attention to Daivari backing Eric Bischoff. He was too busy listening to an Ashley Simpson song and said “gosh she sucks.” Vince was entertaining and did not over do it at all during the whole show.
Now I’ve been on a Shelton Benjamin kick for a long time. I have questioned what the hell he did to Vince to be de-pushed. Well you can imagine how happy I was when they announced that the main event was Shelton and Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle and Carlito. And watching Shawn in the locker room with Shelton and coming up with lines like, “The night Shelton faced HBK he was at his best, but he’s gone downhill now.” And, then telling Shelton that his career in the WWE is a big fat zero all rang true. HBK told Benjamin that he needed to get an attitude and you could see Shelton’s facial expression go from nice guy to a guy that might just be turning heel. I loved this and I also thought the main event was good. Especially because it was really about Shelton and Shawn Michaels. Shawn had the chance to get the win by hitting Carlito with Sweet Chin Music, but Shelton wanted to show off his new attitude so he blind tagged HBK, he then did a cross-body but Carlito escaped it and Carlito pinned Benjamin. Shelton was down, and a not to pleased HBK just looked at him. But then Shawn went to Shelton to help him up, BUT Benjamin ignored him and left the ring. Now I’m salivating over this. The focus is finally on Shelton in a main feud, and I really believe he’s turning heel and he’s finally getting a push.
The Cutting Edge was AWESOME. This was another very strong segment. Edge was outstanding as he bad mouthed Ric Flair whom by the way was a no show. Edge would not let up about Flair’s road rage incident and made fun of his mug shot. He would not let up. And Lita did okay because she plays the bimbo of the show. She fits in perfectly. As I said Edge would not stop and then things really heated up. Michael Hayes and Sgt. Slaughter came out to end the segment but Edge wasn’t going and Michael Hayes exploded. I found this man to be just fantastic as he stuck up for Ric Flair and tried to put an end to this whole thing. Hayes didn’t miss a beat he had me so into what he had to say. This was one HOT segment thanks to Edge and Michael Hayes.
This might sound weird but the ending of the Mickie James vs. Victoria feud really drew me in. Now the match was okay, but it was Mickie’s loss that really did it for me. Each week we’ve seen this woman do anything for her idol Trish Stratus. But last night after Trish failed to help her beat Victoria, Mickie looked like she was ready to take her idol out. Mickie had one mean look on her face and watching her force a smile at Trish was GOLD. I can’t tell you how much this appealed to me. I can still see the look on James’s face that’s how good she played it.
Hunter had two backstage segments that I liked. One was when Mr. Hotshot scared a guy in the back which made Hunter smile like a big bully. His smile stopped when came face to face with the Big Show. Again Show did a good job interacting with Triple H. This mini feud is really coming off well. And I totally got a kick out of the Hunter and Stephanie meeting with Vince. After all it’s their first on air appearance since they got married. I mean we all know they are married in real life but on TV they are divorced. So are they now going to team up again or was this a one time thing?
Chavo vs. Lance Cade was a one good match. I’ll tell you what I especially liked about it. Lance Cade looked very good out there. I have no doubt at all that Lance Cade is a good wrestler and when you put him with someone so seasoned and so good as Chavo Guerrero you can’t miss. I’m also glad that the Kerwin White gimmick is no longer and that Chavo can be Chavo again. I know this all happening because of the death of Eddie Guerrero but Chavo I believe has always had a lot to offer and maybe now Vince will see that. I’ll leave with this; I didn’t care too much for the Fatal 4way match that opened the show. I think it’s because the tag team division is so weak there’s really no one to get hyped for. Other than that and John Cena singing Vince’s praises everything else was just fantastic.
I would just like to end with some thoughts on Impact. I watched it this past Saturday night, and again it was the X division that ruled the show. I loved the Chris Sabin vs. Petey Williams vs. Alex Shelly vs. Austin Aries match. Again they stole the show. And the only other bright spot for me was Christian Cage. I missed Christian’s debut two weeks ago, and last week I wasn’t that into his appearance but this past Saturday night he was outstanding. The fans are chanting his name, he’s playing a face and you really can see that Christian is so at home with TNA. He seems to just soak it all in and again he was flawless on the mic. And let me tell you it certainly helps Jeff Jarrett to be in there with him. Christian is relaxed it’s like a weight was lifted when he left WWE. Other than what I mentioned nothing else really appealed to me. I just wish that the X division got a lot more on air time. Okay that’s enough of that I’ll be back at the end of the week, so I hope you will check out my column.