The play “The Power Is Back” opening video followed by a recap of WWE Homecoming from last week with the brunt of it; well actually, all of it except three seconds being focused on Austin stunning the whole McMahon family and Vince saying someone is going to get fired. I have a feeling that it’s going to make for some good TV to have the theme of the show be around that of Vince firing someone and the wrestlers pissing themselves over it. They then show the Raw video and we go right into it.
Stephanie McMahon comes out to star the show. Jesus Christ, I hope this isn’t a sign that the McMahons are going to be on TV regularly again. In moderation, the McMahons are golden for adding that much more to a good show, but like in 2003, too much can kill your product. Steph talks about how the McMahons are WWE and last week was there night, but Austin embarrassed them and ruined their night. Is it really ruining Homecoming if the crowd loved it? She even brings up that she was the member of the family voted “most fun to watch being stunned” on WWE.com. Good way to tie-in WWE.com. WWE is using the internet so well lately with the shows, exclusive news, et cetera. Anyway, Steph rambles on about how they hate her because she is better than them. Blah, blah, blah, yakkity yak, yak, yak. She then rambles on and on and on like a normal McMahon promo. Someone needs to tell the family that no one cares for their long-winded promos. Steph then says that they haven’t seen anything yet and no one will stop her. She then starts yelling at a guy telling her to wrap it up. Of course she needs to wrap it up. She then lays him out. No wonder the McMahons get long promos; if they don’t, people get slapped. Steph then goes psycho slapping Lillian Garcia and then a cameraman. Damn, power bitch Steph is actually quite fun! She needs to cut out the long-winded promos and just go ballistic on cameramen for now on. She then goes to the announcer’s booth and has them help her up onto the table and screams, “The bitch is back!” God, as much as I hate the long-winded McMahon promos, Stephanie has really gotten better in interacting with the crowd. The beginning of the segment sucked way too much, but the end was great. I want to see Steph just come out and lay out people now.
Doink Vs. Rob Conway
Why the hell is Doink here? I swear there hasn’t been a year in WWE since 2002 that we haven’t seen Doink. They show the recap of Conway being beat down by the legends last week before coming out. Buff Bagwell is probably crying at home seeing Rob Conway do his gimmick better than Bagwell ever imagined it could be. Match was basically a comedy one for the first couple minutes as Doink was in control with some sloppy roll-ups and funny poke to the eyes. Some of the best comedy though was inadvertent like Doink’s mask almost falling off three times. Despite that though, I loved Doink conducting the crowd as he would point at Conway getting the crowd to boo and raise his hand getting the crowd to cheer. That was sadly the only thing Doink did right. He didn’t even sell right towards the end and when Conway was trying to stomp a mud hole, Doink looked like he was in a coma. Nice. I hope no one important was playing Doink; because if they are, they proved why they are stuck doing Doink jobs. Finish came with the Ego Trip like you would expect.
Winner: Rob Conway
Star Wrestler: Rob Conway
Not that I hate Conway or anything, but he basically gets this by default. Doink couldn’t sell nor could he even do a roll-up without looking like he was going accidentally flip himself out of the ring.
Conway then gets on the mike and gives a message to the WWE legends and says they are like Doink: a joke. He then puts himself over as a future WWE Hall of Famer. Are we going to get another Legend Killer gimmick? I pray to God not. Conway then goes after Doink some more, but Eugene comes in and makes the save for his hero! Eugene clears the ring and then as Eugene checks on Doink, Conway runs back in and lays out Eugene. Hmm, maybe this is leading to something else. A Eugene-Conway feud, perchance? Well, that isn’t as bad as it appears. In all honesty, I enjoyed their match a few weeks back.
The announcers then put over the fact that Vince McMahon is going to fire someone and they tease that JR is going to be the one that is getting fired. Could you be anymore blatant? A recap of Triple H’s return and the beat down on Ric Flair is then shown and they put over the brutality of it. It was a pretty brutal beat down; but like a lot of things last week (and this week from the looks of the opening segment), it was drawn out way too much.
Commercial break times two equals time wasted from wrestling. Look, Ma! I can do math!
Back from the break, Carlito is in the ring and it’s time for Carlito’s Cabana. Carlito starts by kissing ass to the McMahons to try and save his job. He gets some good heat for it too. Carlito then says the topic tonight is the number one contendership for the title. The crowd starts giving him the “What?” treatment, which I don’t think will ever get old, and Angle makes his way out cutting off Carlito early. Angle states that he obviously was the winner since he beat the crap out of Michaels, and then Michaels comes out. Uh-oh. I’m getting a bad feeling about this match becoming too crowded. Michaels gets in Angle’s face and asking how is it clear when it was tied and Angle walked away at his opportunity for sudden death? Michaels says that means either Angle doesn’t want to be the champ or that he doesn’t want anymore of HBK. Clearly! Michaels is great as usual on the mike. Angle then talks about HBK will be fired. Angle carries the company and he was champ when WCW went out of business. When the hell was that? Last I heard Rock and Austin were both champs when WCW went under in real life and in kayfabe. Angle then says he is the number one contender and Big Show comes out. Just like I thought, this is turning into another crowded “I deserve a shot” segment. WWE thrives on these types of segments. They would work so much better if they didn’t happen two to three times a year though. To be optimistic though, HBK is gold as he just starts lounging in one of Carlito’s chairs and gets a drink. God bless you, HBK. What would drawn-out, crowded segments do without you?
Big Show actually delivered a good promo too. He is definitely someone who is constantly improving too. Ever since he came to WWE, he’s gotten better and better and better; that’s just the kind of guy I love watching. Big Show said he had an epiphany (and that he would buy Angle a dictionary later to find out what that means). He said when you’re a giant, you don’t wait in line; you cut in line because you can. He then says he wants someone to make his day and tell him he can’t. The crowd gets bigger as Edge and Lita then stroll out. As much as I hate Edge crowding this segment more, he’s got such a cocky swagger to him since he started feuding with Hardy. It’s so great. Edge then puts over his guaranteed title shot and the fact that he killed Hardy. Carlito then finally speaks up and turns everyone in the ring against Edge before saying he should be number one contender. For what? Now seriously, I can buy all of the rest of them doing their whole spiel, but what the hell has Carlito done? Lost the secondary title to a fifty year old man? Yeah, that’s definitely worthy of a shot. Cena then comes out and actually cuts a rap! As much crap as he got for them in the past, I always thought Cena’s raps were a great way to rile up the crowd and add comedy to anything. He puts down everyone in the ring with a lot of good jokes about sex, S & M, and Lita being a whore (of course). Cena looks so confident with the mike at this point. It’s great to see how far he’s come in terms of mike skills since early 2003. After putting them all down, Cena puts over that he will take them all on before walking out. Looks like we might be getting an Elimination Chamber style match at Taboo Tuesday. Good segment and everyone (minus Angle) delivered on the mike; but it definitely ran too long, and like I said, it was a trite idea.
We then see Trish backstage warming up for a match I guess and Ashley comes in and we go straight to another break.