Full Credit: PWInsider.com
Monday Night Raw opened with a recap of last week’s WWE Homecoming, particularly the Steve Austin-McMahon family segment. They did a great job hiding Linda McMahon’s bump last week. They closed out the video feature with Vince McMahon promising someone was going to get fired for Austin’s actions.
After Raw’s official opening played, Stephanie McMahon’s music played and she made her way to the ring. Jim Ross, Jonathan Coachman, and Jerry Lawler introduced the show, noting that everyone was walking around on eggshells because Vince promised someone would be fired. Stephanie said that last week was supposed to be Raw’s Homecoming and the family’s big night, but Steve Austin humiliated and embarrassed her family. She noted that a WWE.com poll (love that synergy) voted her their favorite McMahon who was stunned. Stephanie said that the fans hate her because the women are jealous of her and the men are intimidated by her money and the fact that she has “bigger balls than every man in this arena.” She said that as Vince McMahon’s daughter, she can do anything she wants, when she wants. She noted that WWE employee Mark Eaton (longtime timekeeper) was giving her a cue to wrap up her segment and left the ring. She kneed him in the groin. She challenged Lillian Garcia and slapped her. McMahon shoved down a camera man and said that her father was on his way to the Arena and someone was going to get fired tonight.
McMahon then had the announcers stand her on the commentary table. She addressed the fans saying, “So I bet you think I’m a B***ch, huh? Well you’re right – the B***h is back!” Jim Ross wondered who was going to get fired as they went to commercial.
When they returned to the ring, Doink the Clown’s music hit and he made his way to the ring to face Rob Conway. They showed footage of Conway getting beat down by the legends last week.
Doink the Clown vs. Rob Conway
Doink implored the crowd to cheer him and boo Conway. Doink scored a quick nearfall with an inside cradle. Conway tried to kick Doink but got thumbed in the eye. Conway began choking and stomping Doink, screaming, “I’m a legend. I’m the real legend.” Isn’t Randy Orton on Smackdown? Conway hit a neckbreaker, then hit his one man Au Revoir for the clean pin. Ross noted during the match that Conway had issued an open contract for any legend. Conway took the mic and said that all the “so-called WWE legends” are jokes, while he is a future WWE Hall of Famer. He started stomping on Doink. Eugene hit the ring and ran off Conway, but when he went to check on Doink, he was blindsided. Conway hit his finisher on Eugene. Conway celebrated over the beaten Doink and Eugene.
The announcers talked about the fact that someone was going to be fired. Coachman said it could be Jim Ross according to the Internet. Ross acknowledged the rumors and said, “All I want to do is my job, the job I love more than anything else in the world.”
They showed an awesome video package on the return of Triple H and his attack on WWE Intercontinental champion Ric Flair last week.
When we returned from commercial, it was time for Carlito’s Cabana. Carlito said that he wanted to let the McMahon family know that if he knew what was going on last week, he would have hit the ring and spit in Steve Austin’s face. Cabana said that tonight they weren’t here to talk about who was getting fired, but who should be the top contender to the WWE championship. Carlito said that last week’s Iron Man match was a tie. Kurt Angle’s music began to play and he made his way to the ring. Carlito was surprised. Angle questioned Carlito saying there wasn’t a winner because he beat the living hell out of Shawn Michaels.
Michaels’ music began to play and he made his way to the ring. Michaels said that nothing could be more unclear, because last week he offered sudden death to Kurt Angle, only to see Angle walk out. Michaels said that either means Angle doesn’t want to be WWE champion or he doesn’t want any more of Michaels. Angle said he isn’t scared of anyone but Michaels should be scared of losing his job. Angle said that Vince McMahon knows that he carries Raw. Angle said that he doesn’t care what the scoreboard says, he deserves to be WWE champion and no one else does.
The Big Show’s music hit and he made his way to the ring. Michaels sat down in one of the beach chairs and had a drink. Big Show said he had an epiphany watching what was going on in the ring. He said that he was waiting his turn his coming to Raw but the truth is he’s a giant and doesn’t have to wait in line, so he’s cutting it. He said that he wants a shot at the WWE title and he’d like someone to tell him he can’t have it.
Edge’s music hit and he came to the ring with Lita, carrying the briefcase that holds his “Money in the Bank” title contract. Edge said that everyone was forgetting he was the only person with a guaranteed title shot. He said that last week he became a career killer and the rest of them should be worried about who’s going to be next to join Matt Hardy collecting unemployment. Edge said that if the McMahons are listening, they should freeze all the title shots until he wants his. Carlito asked why anyone should listen to Edge since he didn’t come out and help Raw fight Smackdown last week. Carlito said that no one in the ring likes each other but they all agree that none of them would be upset if McMahon fired Edge. Carlito then said that he wanted to be number one contender.
WWE champion John Cena came out on the stage and ran down the contenders in a rap, taking shots at each of them. The crowd loved it and chanted for Cena. Cena said that the Champ is here and if he has to, he’ll fight them all.
They showed a clip of Eric Bischoff announcing on WWE.com that tonight’s main event would be Shawn Michaels & Big Show & John Cena vs. Edge & Carlito & Kurt Angle.
Chris Masters vs. Tajiri
Chris Masters did his entrance but Tajiri ran out and attacked him. They fought to the ring, where Tajiri hit several kicks for near falls. Masters picked up Tajiri, who rolled over and pulled him into a sunset flip attempt. Masters hit a double arm underhook suplex. Tajiri rolled backwards, hitting a reverse kick. Tajiri locked on the Tarantula. He continued to attack with kicks and strikes. Tajiri hit a big kick for a near fall. He measured Masters for one, but Masters ducked and locked on The Masterlock. Tajiri fought and tried several times to get to the ropes, but finally faded from the pain. The referee rang the bell and ruled Masters the winner.
Backstage, Triple H was walking backstage and ran into Shawn Michaels. Michaels said that what Hunter did last week was too much. Hunter laughed and walked off. As he continued down the hallway, heels and faces all stared at him in disgust. He laughed it off until he walked into Big Show. He looked scared. Show told him, “Someday you are going to get yours.” Hunter backed up, and ended up finding himself face to face with John Cena. Cena said that he doesn’t know Hunter and won’t judge him but he lost his respect with what he pulled last week. Hunter said that the last thing Cena wants to do is get Hunter’s attention. Cena said, “You want some – come get some.” Hunter said that when he wanted it, he’d take it. He walked off, assaulting a WWE staffer as he walked off.
They aired highlights of last night’s No Mercy PPV. They did a good job making a forgettable PPV seem like one of the top shows of the year with their highlights and sound bites.
Triple H’s music hit and he made his way to the ring. Husband and wife promos tonight! He said that it was hostile backstage and asked the crowd if they had a problem with what happened last week. He said that the situation was none of their business and that it was between two best friends. He said that the crowd thinks they love Ric Flair, but HHH said he’s “the biggest mark ever” for Flair. He said that when Ric Flair came to WWE, no one was more excited than HHH but Flair was a broken down shell of a man. HHH took credit for making Flair a man again and said he let Flair bask in HHH’s glory. He said that Flair appeared to be great again because of HHH. He mocked Flair’s whoo and said that even he believed that “The Nature Boy” was back. HHH said that a month ago, he watched Ric Flair on TV letting people spit apple in his face, spitting in the legacy of Flair. HHH said that he knew then what he had to do. He said that when Flair went to the top rope a few weeks ago on PPV, HHH knew he was going to get tossed off the top rope, but instead he “sailed off the top rope like it was 1982.” HHH said that the fans and Flair all cheered because Flair finally did one thing right. HHH said the fans went crazy when Flair won the Intercontinental championship while Flair reveled in his “newfound medicority.” HHH said that it broke his heart to see what Flair had begun. He said that he knew that he had to do something that only a person who really cares would do – he put the horse behind the barn and he pulled the trigger. HHH declared that Flair’s career was over and said that he wasn’t going to let anyone tarnish his memories of Flair. The crowd chanted, “We Want Flair.” HHH accused the fans of being ready to sign Flair’s death warrant. He told Flair that if he was watching at home, don’t listen to the fans and the wrestlers in the back. He told Flair not to return and do something he had no business doing. He said that without him Flair no longer exists and “Ric Flair is nothing.” He said that Flair is no longer the dirtiest player in the game anymore. He said Flair wasn’t even a player in the game and said the “Game is Over” for Flair. The fans chanted for Flair as HHH walked out. He gave a Whooo and strutted to mock Flair as he left.
They aired a video feature for The Rock’s new film Doom. Rock said that one of the monsters reminded him of Big Show since it’s big and stinks, while another reminds him of Lillian Garcia. He closed the segment with his “If you Smell” catchphrase.
WWE Women’s champion Trish Stratus vs. Victoria
Stratus hit the Lou Thesz Press early then did a cartwheel into leg scissors. Victoria used her strength to take down Trish. She hit a snap suplex. Victoria put Stratus on the top rope, then hit a gorilla press and slam. Victoria applied a modified Boston Crab. Victoria got a two count and yelled at the referee. Trish began firing back with offense but was hit with an elbow as she charged Victoria in the corner. Stratus went for the cartwheel into the frankensteiner off the ropes but Victoria caught her and dropped her down into a modified Bostoin Crab. That looked awesome, to the point I thought it was the finish. Trish got out of it and went for the Chick Kick but it was blocked. Trish finally got the pin with a Northern Lights Suplex. Victoria attacked Trish after the bell. Ashley hit the ring for the save but was tossed off. Victoria teased hitting Trish with the belt but a “woman from the crowd” (former TNA and ROH regular “Alexis Laree” Mickie James, who has been under a WWE developmental contract for some time, and is a regular in OVW) hit the ring and attacked Victoria. She ran off Victoria and gave the belt to Stratus, acting as if she was awed by Trish. Trish looked stunned and surprised. The woman left up the ramp.
When they returned, Trish and Ashley were walking backstage. Ashley asked Trish who that was that hit the ring. Stratus said she didn’t know when the woman showed up. She introduced herself as Mickie James and said she signed a contract and was Raw’s newest Diva. Trish asked why she knew that name. James said that she’s Trish’s biggest fan and writes her all the time. She said she understands that Trish is too busy to write her back. She acted all giddy and excited. It’s Sable and Tori from 1997!
The ring entrances for the main event began. In a splitscreen, they showed the arrival of Vince McMahon at the building. They announced Mick Foley would be the guest on Carlito’s Cabana next week.
Shawn Michaels & Big Show & John Cena vs. Edge & Carlito & Kurt Angle
The heels tried to clean house on Cena but he backdropped Carlito and tagged in Show. Show drilled Carlito with a major chop. Carlito’s teammates tried to help but were all tossed in the corner and charged by Show, squashing them. When they returned from commercial, Angle’s team was working over Cena. They continued to tag in and out while keeping Cena on the defensive. Cena finally suplexed Carlito and crawled to his corner to make the tag. Michaels tagged in and hit a flying forearm on Carlito. He hit an inverted atomic drop and clothesline on Carlito. Michaels teased hitting Sweet Chin Music, but when he went for it, Angle cut him off with a clothesline. Carlito went for the cover, but Michaels kicked up at the two count. Carlito held Michaels for Angle, who measured him and kicked. Angle worked over Michaels with forearms and punches in the corner, then suplexed Michaels over for a two count. Angle wore down Michaels with body scissors. Carlito pulled the ropes down on Michaels as he rebounded, sending him to the floor. When they returned from the commercial break, Angle was working over Michaels in the ring with a sideheadlock. Michaels fought his way to his feet and chopped Angle in the corner. He tried to whip Angle into the corner, but Angle reversed. Michaels took a flip bump in the corner and when he returned into the ring, was hit with a belly-to-belly suplex. Carlito tagged in and chopped Michaels. Michaels finally made the hot tag to Show. Cena hit the five knuckle shuffle on Angle for a two count. On the floor, Edge grabbed a chair but Show kicked him over the guard rail. Cena went for the F-U on Angle but Carlito broke it up. Cena locked an ankle lock on Cena, who countered it. Angle rolled up Cena and scored the clean pin.
They reviewed Stephanie McMahon’s comments earlier tonight and showed Vince McMahon stalking the hallways as he made his way to the ring.
They aired a promo to build to the return of Kane next Monday.
Vince McMahon made his way to the ring. McMahon said that last week, Steve Austin did the impossible by stunning every McMahon family member. He said that is the only thing in his life that he will never forgive or forget. McMahon reiterated his claims last week that someone was going to get fired, saying he was a man of his word. McMahon said it wasn’t a question of when but who. He said that America likes to play the blame game, so he wondered who was to blame. McMahon said that some claim it was Eric Bischoff’s fault, but he wasn’t going to fire Bischoff as it wasn’t his fault. McMahon said that the person to blame was Steve Austin, but he’s not going to blame Austin for what he did. He said that he’s not going to fire Austin, “at least, not yet.”
McMahon said that he wondered what person or persons were to blame, and that would be the people who enjoyed it the most. McMahon said that he blamed all the fans because they are the kind of people who encourage the Steve Austins of the world. McMahon said that they caused what happened to his family last week. McMahon said that he wanted everyone in Texas and the world to consider themselves employees of WWE. McMahon then fired all the fans. That would explain the crowd last night at No Mercy. McMahon then said there were three people who were as close to the action last week as any fans were – the announcing team. He demanded all three get inside the ring right now. They made their way to the ring.
McMahon said that last week when he was getting stunned, they stayed in the booth and did nothing. He said that he’s a big guy and can handle that. He said that Shane gets stunned too and they did nothing but that’s OK because Shane’s a tougher guy than he is. He said that they then did nothing when his “precious daughter” was stunned. He asked them how that made them feel. He talked about how he devoted his life to his wife and worshipped the ground that she walks on. He said that Austin stunned her and again they did nothing. McMahon demanded an apology from each of them, saying that their jobs depended on it.
Coachman immediately kissed up to McMahon saying he was a coward and he apologized. McMahon accepted it. He went to Lawler. Lawler said that he’s been stunned by Austin in the past and if it means he will keep his job, he apologizes. McMahon accepted it and sent him to the broadcast booth. McMahon got to Jim Ross, saying he was Austin’s best friend. Ross said that he was sorry that Linda McMahon got stunned. McMahon questioned if he cared about his communication with the fans every week and his job. Ross said that he considers the fans his family.
McMahon accepted the apology, then told Ross that he wanted him to apologize to his children personally. He introduced Stephanie McMahon. She came to the ring and asked Ross to apologize to her. She told him to apologize or be fired. He said that he was sorry Linda got stunned. She said that she doesn’t have any choice and slapped Ross. McMahon said that he was going to tell Shane McMahon to drop an elbow on Ross and called for his son, but instead Linda McMahon came out (she’s not even wearing a neck brace?) and made her way to the ring. Stephanie and Vince looked surprised. Vince told Linda that he wasn’t expecting her and that the ring wasn’t a place for her. He said that he and Stephanie had it covered.
Linda said that as Vince’s wife and Stephanie’s mother, she can’t let them continue this way. She said that when they returned to the USA Network, it was a chance for a new beginning and a clean slate for the McMahon family. She told them that the only way to get respect from people was by taking action, not by yelling and screaming like Vince or pitching a fit like Stephanie. She took Jim Ross’ arm and said that on behalf of the entire McMahon family, he was fired. She kicked him in the groin. Vince and Stephanie raised Linda’s arm and celebrated. Jonathan Coachman and Jerry Lawler expressed disbelief as they went off the air.