~~~~~THE TBL NEWSLETTER~~~~~
Volume 3, Issue 14
Official Newsletter of:
The Balrog’s Lair
“Still an Internet Original!”
“It’s What You’ve Been Waiting For”
Aaaaaaannnnnnddddd, we’re back. I know full well that all of you have been on your knees, praying that the week would go by faster so that you could get your TBL Newsletter in your precious inbox and reap all the rewards of News, columns, and fun. Don’t ask how I know – I just do. It’s my gift.
So, it’s good to see all of you again. We have more for you than ever before, with fresh news, fresh columns, and fresh insight into the wonderful world of professional wrestling. Who can beat that? Nobody. So, grab you something to drink, sit back in your chair, and keep that hand on that mouse because the scrolling will be bliss.
Let’s get it on.
All news items courtesy of Salty Ham Wrestling
Big Wrestlemania XX Update
Vince McMahon is working hard to make Wrestlemania XX the biggest wrestling event ever.
It has been reported that WrestleMania XX will be five hours long, with four hours of wrestling with an hour of video packages looking back at WrestleMania’s history.
Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg in a Champion vs. Champion match appears to be locked in right now, with the possible exception of someone getting injured. The status is the same for Kane vs. The Undertaker. The WWE would also like to do Triple H vs. Mick Foley but a deal has yet to be reached with Foley and WWE.
Vince McMahon vs. Steve Austin is also being considered as Austin has mentioned he would like to do that match. Of course, that depends on Austin’s neck. The only other match worth a return for Austin would be against Goldberg or Hulk Hogan, but those are far-fetched ideas. The Rock has made it known that he will only return for something he considers “special.” If that type of match cannot be made, he may only do a cameo appearance.
WWE is also very interested in having a Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat match. Steamboat, who retired in 1994, has expressed interest in returning for one last match against Flair.
With Randy Savage having a feature in the latest issue of Smackdown Magazine, there may be interest regarding him being involved at WMXX. Thee is talk that the WWE would like a Hogan vs. Savage match as a way to wrap up the careers WrestleManias past headliners. Although, that scenario seems unlikely as Hogan and Savage do not like each other and Vince McMahon has stated he would never bring back Savage (of course, he said the same thing about Hogan).
The feeling is that WWE will also be able to get Bret Hart to make an appearance at the show. There has also been talk of bringing in Roddy Piper, Mr. T, Paul Orndorff, Jimmy Snuka, and Bob Orton, Jr. for special appearances, as they were involved in the Wrestlemania I main event.
Still, this is all speculation right now.
Source: Pro-Wrestling Torch Newsletter
Matt Hardy Say Jeff Is Not Done
The following is part of the Matt Hardy’s T/F on WWE.com. All answers are from Matt.
Statement #1: Rob Van Dam is the greatest hardcore wrestler ever.
Matt: False. In my mind, Mick Foley stands out as the greatest ever just because he did it here, and this is where things are remembered in the wrestling business, being the biggest company there’s ever been in the history of the world.
Statement #2: Jeff Hardy has wrestled his last WWE match.
Matt: False. Jeff has the passion for this business running through his veins. I think one day Jeff will be tired of being burnt out, he’ll get his head spun on straight, and he’ll be back.
Statement #3: Comic books is the best way to pass time on the road.
Matt: False. Reading comics is fine, but I don’t know if it’s the best way. I don’t have a great example, but reading comic books isn’t No. 1.
Statement #4: There are way too many reality shows on TV these days.
Matt: True. Reality shows did really well, and like everything else, they flooded the market, so now it’s saturated. But some are still fun.
Source: The Balrog’s Lair and WWE.com
Wrestlers Upset At John Heidenreich Signing
A lot of wrestlers are very upset that John Heidenreich was signed to a long term contract last week. Most feel he’s a nice person but very inept in the ring and has yet to show any signs of improvement. Some also fear stepping in the ring with him since he is already getting a reputation for injuring opponents. Steven Richards has been hurt twice and Heidenreich has yet to master how to perform his own finisher safely.
While he does feel bad about his mistakes and will often seek advice from older wrestlers on tips for improvement, a lot of the boys feel he is not going to ever amount to anything and that he was given a long term deal and a push because Vince McMahon wants another big guy.
Source: Pro-Wrestling Torch Newsletter
Mick Foley is only scheduled to be around as a transition to Steve Austin’s return, but will not be back full-time.
The Chris Jericho-Trish Stratus situation will keep on going with more twists and turns in the next few weeks.
The reason Matt Hardy doesn’t have his full ring entrance at his RAW debut was because it usually brings a big face pop, and the writers want him as a heel.
Vince Gives Hogan The Law
Rumor has it that Vince McMahon has sent word to Hulk Hogan that if he appears on NWA-TNA pay-per-view before WrestleMania XX the WWE will turn their backs on him.
TNA officials called a meeting backstage at last night’s show and said the “Bound for Glory” special that was originally planned for February will now be pushed back until May or June. Hogan is currently in rehab for undergoing surgery to his knee a few week’s ago.
Source: Wrestling 365
Heyman Getting More Imput
Paul Heyman is starting to become more involved in the creative process of SmackDown. Although he has been down playing involvement to other wrestlers, word is that Heyman has worked his way back into production meetings.
Source: Wrestling 365 Newsletter
Jericho And Trish Storyline Update (possible spoilers)
The storyline twist from this past Monday regarding Chris Jericho and Trish Stratus has gotten a lot of attention from people who seemingly thought Jericho was turning face and now feel the story is over. This is not the case. The Jericho/Trish story is expected to still continue for sometime now.
It should also be noted that the angle from Monday DOES NOT write off any potential Jericho face turn. Infact, many sources indicate that the tentative plan is to actually progress with the Jericho faceturn and have him end up feuding with Christian. The idea is to have Jericho have a hard time being a “good guy” and not the pure heel he has been for years. As he turns more of a babyface, Christian will feel betrayed and view Jericho as “getting soft.”
The Christian/Lita portion of the angle is not expected to continue much longer. The point of it was to supplement the Jericho/Trish story.
Christian is actually said to be happy about not having to play a babyface (although fake) since he wants to focus fully on his heel character.
Matt Hardy is not expected to get involved in any angle with Lita soon.
Full Credit: PWTorch.com VIP Audio Update via 411 Mania
More Movie Roles For Wrestlers
Triple H will film more for his role in Blade III in the latter part of December and more in January. New Line is very happy with him so far. They feel he has good camera presence and like how big he looks next to Wesley Snipes.
New Line is also considering some movie roles to Eddie Guerrero and Chris Jericho. They are looking at Guerrero for the new Cheech and Chong movie that is being discussed.
Many at New Line also feel that John Cena could be a major breakout movie star, however, talks are still early and nothing has been offered to him.
Source: Wrestling Observer Newsletter
Orton Discusses “Legend Killer” Gimmick and Family
Randy Orton was interviewed for today’s edition of Montana’s The Billings Gazette to promote an upcoming Raw brand house show.
In it, Orton discusses his family’s history in professional wrestling and says that when he returns from the road, he goes to visit his father (Bob Orton Jr.) for dinner every Tuesday night to watch tapes of his matches and go over ways to improve, which sometimes leads to debates.
When discussing his “Legend Killer” gimmick, Orton credits Mick Foley with their angle at Madison Square Garden.
“It was [Foley’s] idea to use that rub and get over the “Legend Killer” with Mick being the first legend. I owe him a lot and always will and I thank him.”
Orton also said his goal is to have a prominent position at Wrestlemania XX but between changing plans and injuries to workers, it’s hard to know what is going to happen that far in advance.
Back the Mack Could Be Back…ATTACK!
Rodney Mack is looking to return to action within 4 months following surgery to repair a torn patella. “It’s coming along great,” he told WWE.com. “I have no pain. The only thing I’m concerned about is getting the size back. That’s what on my mind, just getting my leg back to looking like my leg again, not a chicken leg.”
Source: Wrestling365 Newsletter
Christmas RAW Brings Coals
The 12/22 RAW will be a “Best Of 2003” show and will feature no new matches. The show will return live the following Monday.
Nathan Jones Retires?
It seems that Nathan Jones has “retired” from WWE while on the Asia-Australia junket that the Smackdown brand wrestlers are currently on.
Despite the fact Brock Lesnar, Paul Heyman and The Big Show tried to talk him out of it at today’s show in Perth, Australia, Jones grabbed his bags, said he can’t take the business anymore and quit WWE.
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THE TWO SHEDS REVIEW
By: Julian Radbourne
Some of you may be wondering why I haven’t written about the mighty WWE lately. The answer is simple; I haven’t watched much of their product lately. This is because I’ve been busy attending to WAW matters.
So it’s that time of the month again when yours truly, in his role as WAW’s chief reporter, looks back at what’s happened in and out of the ring in the past month or so.
To say things have been a bit hectic have been an understatement. Although the first few weeks of the months were quiet on the show front, things kicked off on the 21st November with another trip to the Town Hall in Hunstanton. This was the first time I had been to Hunstanton in about twenty years, but the third time WAW had been here this year. The last two shows, in April and August, were somewhat disappointing attendance wise, so it was a welcome surprise to us all that the show was sold out, with around 200 fans turning up on a cold winter’s night, and this despite the fact that the BBC were holding their annual Children In Need charity appeal on television that night as well.
However, things didn’t run smoothly at all to begin with, as engine trouble meant that the regular ring announcer Michael Mann couldn’t make the show. The fact that he was also bringing a wrestler and a referee meant that the show was in danger of not going on. But give the powers-that-be credit. With a great deal of thought and last-minute planning, the show went without a hitch, and the fans went home happy, not realizing just how close they were to not getting a show at all!
As far as the action in the ring was concerned, it was top-notch from top-to-bottom. Everyone on the show did well, some more than others.
This was the first time I had seen promising rookie Rock Weiler in a singles match. Having competed in many battle royals since he first entered the Training Academy, Rock had made his singles debut six months previously against Hot Stuff in Diss. Going up against the Kraft, someone who could still be considered a rookie of sorts, Rock put on a display a ten year veteran would have been proud of. The crowd were on his back as soon as he entered the hall. His ability to work the crowd, as well as those in the ring was also good. For a guy in only his second singles match, Rock Weiler showed that he is one to look out for in the coming months.
Another guy I have to tip my hat to is Ashe. Ashe is proving to be one of the top cruiserweights not just in WAW but possibly in Britain at the moment. I felt a sad for him that he had to give up the tag-team title after his convincing display partnering Paul Tyrell in defeating the Pitbulls at October Outrage V, but perhaps Ashe’s future really lies in the singles ranks. He is already a credible challenger for Steve Quintain’s Cruiserweight title. He can fly, but he doesn’t rely on this tactic all the time. He is able to combine aerial moves with a solid mat-based attack. Like everyone he does make mistakes, but when these errors happen he isn’t put off by them. He just gets on with his work.
Ashe must also be praised for his work outside the ring. The lad worked his backside off helping promote the show in Hunstanton, his hometown. It’s this kind of attitude, this love of wrestling that he has, that will do him no harm in the long run.
While on the subject of attitude, one of the reasons that the show almost didn’t go to plan was the very late arrival of the Zebra Kid. Zebra arrived just minutes before the show was due to begin, forcing a hasty rearrangement of the card. Calls to his mobile phone went unanswered, and as he arrived at the hall, it was obvious that WAW owner Ricky Knight, who would later wrestle Zebra that night, would take out his frustrations on him in the ring.
And this he did. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve seen Ricky Knight wrestle the Zebra Kid. I’ve even had the honour to referee one of their matches earlier this year in Southport. But each time they step into the ring together, they always pull out all the stops, never holding back, always giving one hundred and ten percent. But this time, Ricky feels he has something to prove to the youngster.
The Rowdy Man continues to impress me with his performances. It amazes me that at a time when youngsters come into the industry, perform nothing but over the top rope and off the top rope moves, and retire by the age of 25, Ricky Knight is still performing, at the top of his game, just a few weeks short of his 51st birthday. He may not like it that I’ve let you all know that he’s nearly 51, but the fact that he can still give his all, still match power with the super-heavyweights, and speed with the cruiser weights, shows what conditioning can do. Ricky said to me last year that he will retire on his 55th birthday. I get the feeling the old sod will still be kicking ass when he’s in his 70’s. Would this be a good thing? Not for his opponents it won’t be.
Performance of the night, however, would have to go to the Sweet Saraya. In recent weeks and months I’ve written about how I consider Saraya to be the best female wrestler not just in Britain or Europe, but perhaps the world. Her performance in Hunstanton proved this to me even more. She not only competed against Kharisma in a singles bout, but also worked as Ricky’s manager in his match, and in the final elimination tag match as well. She worked three matches, and gave and took a hell of a beating in each and every encounter. While watching her in the tag match, dishing it out to her male counterparts, I found myself forgetting most of the time that she was a woman, the smallest competitor in the contest. But the fact that she was able to more than hold her own against far larger opponents just shows how tough she is. She is a pure, wrestling machine.
But the sad thing is that Saraya is getting frustrated at the moment. “No disrespect to girls like Kharisma and Destiny, but I need a challenge.”, Saraya confided in me a few days later. “I’m the best female wrestler in Britain right now. I’ve been in the ring with the best, and beaten the best, but at the moment there just doesn’t seem to be anyone around who wants to wrestle me.
“And that’s the sad thing. I keep hearing about these girls around the country who are in training, about how they want to be the best female wrestlers in Britain. You mention the name of the Sweet Saraya to them though, and they run the proverbial mile.
“I’m not afraid to face anyone in the ring. If any of these new girls want to wrestle me, they should talk to their promoters and ask them to book me on their shows. Or if they want to get on a WAW show, give me a call so we can set something up. As the old saying goes, to be the best, you have to beat the best, and right now, I’m the best there is.”
I have to say I agree with her on this one. Many up-and-coming female wrestlers have complained recently about the amount of publicity Saraya receives. Think of it this way – imagine the amount of publicity YOU would receive if you were to challenge Saraya for her Unified British Title.
One week later, and it’s a short journey down the road for the DAM Promotions show at the Holt Community Centre. DAM Promotions is the company run by the U.K. Pitbulls, the Bulk and Big Dave Waters. This was the fourth show they had run, and the third at the Community Centre. In an area of Norfolk starved of wrestling action for twenty years, these shows are a welcome addition.
This show had more of a WAW connection than any of the previous DAM show, with only one man, “The Shining Light” Stevie Knight, who hadn’t come through the WAW Wrestling Academy. I had heard and read a lot about Stevie on the Internet in the past few weeks, and was looking forward to seeing him in the ring for the first time.
If you observe either of the Waters brothers at one of their shows, it’s obvious that just wrestling on a show is a lot different, and a lot more stressful, than running your own show. Normally when I see the big guys before and after shows they’re always up for a laugh, always playing and telling jokes with the other workers. When they run their own shows, it’s a different matter. They are concerned about everything. They want everything to be right, to be perfect, so the fans go away happy. At times this may make them seem like they’re a bit snappy, a bit aloof, but as Dave explained to me a couple of days later, it’s just one of the stresses of running a wrestling show.
The show itself was being staged to help raise money for the Theresa Bellingham Appeal, a local girl who suffers from cerebral palsy. Previous shows have also raised a great deal of money for charity, and with the help of several local businesses, the Pitbulls were able to put on another good show.
Although seeing the Pitbulls has heroes is a little different. No disrespect is intended to the big men when I say this, but I prefer them as villains.
The following day it was down to Lowestoft for “War At The Waveney”. The shows at the Waveney Sports & Leisure Centre always pull in a good crowd, hovering around the 1,000 mark. A big shout out must go to Steve Quintain here. Despite running his own, full-time business, Steve works his backside off to get sponsorship and publicity for these shows, and at times it seems he doesn’t get the credit he deserves. But Steve did it again, even if he did play a cruel joke on me by telling me that he was announcing his retirement from wrestling that night!
The big talking point as far as this show was concerned was the appearance of the FWA’s number one man, “The Showstealer” Alex Shane, as he tagged with the Zebra Kid to go up against Ricky & Stevie Knight, Stevie coming in as a late replacement for Thunder.
There’s been a great deal of talk in WAW circles lately about where the Zebra Kid’s loyalties lie. The previous evening in Holt, Zebra’s differences with Ricky had cost them a match as they teamed in the final elimination match against the Pitbulls. In Lowestoft, as he awaited the arrival of his tag-team partner, I managed to grab a few moments with him, to see what he thought of the situation.
“I’ll always be grateful to my family, and to WAW, for giving me my start in the wrestling business.”, he said. “But the thing is, this is my job, this is what I do for a living. If someone rings me up offering me work, whether it’s Alex Shane, Vince McMahon, or whoever, and the price is right, I’ll do it.”
It’s obvious just by talking to him just how much his family means to him. Reading between the lines, it must be tearing him up inside when he hears people he was worked with over the years questioning his loyalty to WAW. However, yours truly was left wondering this when the tag-team match actually happened.
And so with around 1,000 people packed into the arena, the show began. The Pitbulls returned to their cowardly ways as they went up against Hot Stuff and The Kraft in singles matches, Bulk losing to the comeback kid via disqualification, the Kraft and Big D wrestling to a time-limit draw.
Then it was on to what many considered to be the main event of the evening as Steve Quintain defended his Cruiser weight title against Jimmy Ocean in a good, old fashioned British-style contest. The crowd were really into this one. This was by far the loudest Lowestoft crowd I’ve ever heard! I’m still recovering from the battering my ears took!
It’s this kind of crowd which makes me proud to be a wrestling fan. In an age when the vast majority of the wrestling industry seems to be run by the Internet, and the average fan spends more time in front of a computer monitor than they actually do watching wrestling, these fans were great. Young and old gathered together, not caring if someone screwed up one move or if they had a strange haircut or walked in a funny way. These guys were true wrestling fans. They cheered, they booed, and at one time even attacked poor Jimmy with their walking sticks! This was what wrestling should be about. They didn’t care that their local hero had lost the match! They wanted blood (in a proverbial manner, that is).
Then it was onto the match that the Internet gang would have marked out for. It was surprising to me that this was announced as an inter-promotion match, with Alex Shane and the Zebra Kid being announced as “Team FWA”. Going up against the Knights, who had the “Queen of the Harpies”, the Sweet Saraya, in their corner, the self-styled invaders knew they were going to have their work cut out for them in this best of three falls match.
Despite the fact that this match was being held in what could be considered WAW territory, the crowd were clearly behind the FWA boys. But then again, this could be put down to the fact that although the majority of crowd had never seen Alex Shane wrestle before, they loved his tag-team partner. The Zebra Kid is becoming more and more of a positive heat magnet. No matter where he goes, he gets a good response from any crowd. He could have chosen Osama Bin Laden or Saddam Hussein as his partner for this match, and the crowd would still have cheered him. They love him that much.
Team FWA were victorious that night, with Alex gaining the winning pin fall over Ricky, his WAW counterpart. After the match, as Ricky grabbed the microphone, it was slightly humorous to see Ricky try to go eyeball-to-eyeball with Alex. Ricky soon grabbed a chair from ringside so he could stand on it and look down on the so-called invader. This was the kind of thing any long-time fan of British wrestling would have relished.
Seeing these two guys in the ring together made me think that a WAW v FWA feud could be, if it ever happened, be the best thing that’s happened to British wrestling in years. The FWA are the biggest company in Britain as far as the Internet is concerned, whereas as WAW, a company that has a more traditional-style approach to wrestling, and who, although they have their own web site, are not driven by the views of the smart marks. It has the making of an old school v new school kind of feud, and if the powers-that-be of both companies can get this thing going, then it could take British wrestling back to where it was all those years ago.
Having watched the FWA for about as long as I’ve watched WAW, the armchair booker in me is already coming up with some dream matches that I’d love to see on a combined WAW/FWA show. I really hopes this happens.
And as November drew to a close, those connected with WAW began to think about other things. The gruelling holiday camp schedule over the Christmas and New Year period, and the numerous awards that those connected with WAW will be nominated for on various web sites over this same period.
Before I end this little report of mine, I’d just like to say a gracious thanks to a few people. I know I said a few paragraphs ago that WAW is not a company driven by the Internet, but there’s two web sites who have supported the company a great deal over the past few months. 1 Stop Wrestling (www.1stopwrestling.co.uk) is, in my opinion, the best British wrestling web site around at the moment. Chris Hatch, Brett Summers and all those connected should be proud of their efforts. Like many others who run wrestling web sites, these guys put in time and effort for very little praise and no financial reward. They do it because they love wrestling, plain and simple.
Also, the guys at Eastern Wrestling News (www.easternwrestlingnews.cjb.net) also deserve some praise. This site, dedicated to promoting the wrestling scene in East Anglia, is doing a great job of promoting WAW and getting it’s news across to the fans. Although it’s a shame that other promotions in the area don’t realize just how much EWN can do to help them it, WAW is proud to be associated with them, and thanks them all for their time and help.
Well, that’s your lot for this month. This opinionated little geek is off for now! See you at the shows!
“ROUNDING THE SQUARED CIRCLE”
“WELCOME BACK MR. SOCKO”
“GOOD OLD ERIC EATS IT RAW”
VISIT MY HOME PAGE: http://members.aol.com/samjerry
Last night’s edition of NITRO II saw the return of Mick Foley as The Empress’s (and the “Board of Directors” [whoever the F they may be]) way of controlling Good Old Eric (GOE). With Stone Cold Steve Austin (SCSA) no longer Co- General Manager of NITRO II, GOE has pretty much turned the show into his own little fiefdom. No more – Mick Foley is back and appointed himself Co-General Manager and immediately circulated a petition among the fans calling for the return of SCSA. Fans can also add their names by going to The WWE Web Site. We all know that unless SCSA receives strong support, much like the “Man On The MTA,” he may never return. Believe that and I have several acres of prime real estate in the middle of the Sahara Desert to foist off on you. Imagine that, the fans will decide the fate of SCSA. What’s next, giving us a voice in deciding that we are sick and tired of McMahon-A-Thons? I understand that the early returns (excluding hanging and pregnant chads), are 99.69% in favor of SCSA’s return … after deer hunting season that is.
Foley had an immediate impact by changing GOE’s planned Main Event. Instead of a Handicap Match, he made it a Three-On-Three. He also “fired” Testicle, Roid Man, The French Fries and The Crotch, who had his sorry ass kicked by The King in a Win or You’re Fired Match. He later told GOE, who was all bent out of shape that the fired ones would be snatched up by Paul E. Shithook for SmackDown, that he really didn’t mean it. Having Foley around to harass GOE is almost as good as having SCSA doing it.
The evening ended with Foley decking GOE and introducing him to Mr. Socko. Since Mr. Socko has been stashed away in a pair of Foley’s scuzzy old wrestling pants for so long, he had to smell like six day old tuna sitting in the Florida sun in July. GOE will have a tougher time cleaning his mouth out than he would had he had received a Stinkface from The Ass That Ate Cleveland after a meal of whale blubber, Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches and Fresh Elephant Dung.
If nothing else, Foley’s return will add an element of surprise to NITRO II. After, Foley himself hasn’t a clue what he will do moment-to-moment; the results of sixty-seven too many pile drivers. That brings me to my next (and for your sake), my final point. Over the last few months I have been seeing almost nothing but “The WWE sucks,” “Every show is the same,” “The WWE has become nothing but The McMahon Family Hour,” etc., etc. While there have times when the story lines haven’t been Academy Award quality, (which by the way is nothing new), it is still a couple of hours to sit back, relax, have a cool one, forget your job and boss, your crappy life, your: a. wife, b. husband, c. boy or girlfriend’s harping, d. WhatTheF*ckEver.
Over the weekend I read the standard “I’m fed up with wrestling and plan to watch something else on Monday Night” load of Mongolian Horse Crap in a major newsletter. If that’s your thing, go watch Everwood, or whatever floats you boat. I suspect you were never a “real” fan in the first place. When another Chumpster, Rock or SCSA comes along, you’ll probably be back … if you really ever left. It seems like whenever wrestling gets “hot” (and that’s purely a subjective measurement), all those “fans” suddenly get interested again. It reminds me of The Florida Marlins; they couldn’t draw flies and suddenly when they made the playoffs, everybody in South Florida was a Marlin fan, swearing they were among the 6,000 or so that showed up for the regular season games. If everyone who swears they were among the 6,000, the Marlins would have averaged 200,000 people per game. I have been a fan for longer than I care to think about, having watched the WWWF and WWF before the WWE, along with countless Indy promotions. Like I said earlier, I haven’t always liked what I was saw, but I kept watching. I am sure all you “real” fans are doing the same thing. That poor old bored and fed up fan that I mentioned earlier will be back, and if not, that’s his problem. The WWE has one sh*tload of good young talent (Godzilla, Ghidhra (Batista), Cowboy Bob III, etc.). The shows will improve; the signs are already there. If you don’t like what you see, go ahead and watch Everwood, Oprah, The Bolshoi Ballet, or whatever gets you to the short strokes, just stop the whining and writing, telling the world how bad The WWE is. Get a clue – nobody cares; we’ve heard it 18,476 times before (unofficial count).
One final thing. I just started putting my Christmas List together, with the presents I plan to give to some of the WWE talent:
Mark Henry – A one-way ticket to Outer F’N Mongolia
Maven – The seat next to Mark Henry
Booger T – Dance lessons and a talent transplant
Delicious Trish – Me
Legs – An invitation to A Threesome
Blondie – Hell, why not pull a Ron Jeremy and go for The Big Parlay
Roid Man – Some cyanide to add to his “vitamin” injections
Kane – The World or WWE Championship
Billy Kidman – Nothing – He goes home to Blondie every night. What more does he need!
Good Old JR – A ticket to The Sugar Bowl to watch USC put a Trojan on The Sooners
The King – A new wife (No. 8 … or is it 12? 14?) Blonde, of course … and half his age
The Undertaker – A “Rebirth” and The WWE Championship
SCSA – Ten minutes in the ring with The Emperor
The Coach – Cranial-Rectal Inversion Surgery
The Princess – A voice transplant
The Emperor – Laryngitis
A Train’s Wife – A lawnmower
It’s only the beginning of December, so I have time to add to my List.
You know why it’s easy to plug TBL? Because it has some of the best wrestling columns on the internet! You can’t beat the lineup we got with a stick (okay, maybe the “ugly stick”). This week was no different. We got to hear what both Trevor and Eddie sound like by listening to their Afterburn Wrestling Radio Show. I suggest you take a listen sometime. It’s some good stuff. Then we had the very best RAW coverage online with both RAW is Erico by Eric, and RAW Rage by yours truly. After that came The Figure Four Leg Lock by Dr. Trevor Hunnicutt. I’m not sure he’s a real doctor or not (let’s just say, I’m not going to him when I have a cold), but he sure is the “doctor of wrestling!” Eddie came back and slapped us with his latest News & Analysis, all for your consumption. And then, who can beat our SmackDown coverage with both SmackDown Rage by me again, and the ever fresh SmackDown Slam by that crazy canary, Chris Vining.
Whew! Like I said, The Balrog’s Lair and W.O.W Revolution are chalked full of so much greatness that you will need a bigger spoon.
I’m off to do nothing.
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